Was told by a friend (female) I know .....

[Rayleen]

This friend told me : Quote " If you guys want to go out in public and be accepted as one of us, CD, TG or else, dress and act like one of us. Or else stay in hiding" unquote.

I don't know if its the general opinion of the majority, but I see a beginning of some mid age women more accepting.

Please share your opinions on this, this is only my opinion.

Rayleen

[Teresa]

Rayleen,
I wouldn't disagree with your friend and that is how I've found it . Women don't go to the supermarket dressed as hookers so we shouldn't attempt it not unless we do want the attention .

I've just been and bought a new wig , the response I received from the shop owners was lovely , OK they didn't use the word " Pass " but did say I blended very well. I was early for my appointment so went off to find a tea shop , I sat in the garden with other customers having a normal conversation .

[ClosetED]

I think if her claimed acceptance of men dressing and acting like her was the social average, most of us could. There are some who enjoy more stereotypical appearances than women seen at work or malls ( or clothes catalogs). But we do hear ongoing events where TGers are harassed by others for trying what she said we should do. And that is why we still hide. The brave ones / ones with support do test the waters and it appears to be getting much better.
Hugs, Ellen

[Tracy Irving]

So, the guy that wants to wear a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and a woman's t-shirt while shopping must act like a girl or stay home?

Words can't describe how ridiculously idiotic that is.

[DaisyLawrence]

When you put it like that Tracy, you have a point

[Beverley Sims]

I have heard similar opinions myself.

[2B Natasha]

Rayleen. I totally agree with your friend. I’ll take it a step further. Like it or not there are society agreed norms for how to dress and act. With regional variations of course. Anybody who strays from those norms in manner or dress will
Draw attention, mostly. Shari e. This is amplified in the case of a trans person. Society i have found is willing to turn mostly a blind eye to trans folk both male and female. It when we act and dress the fool. Then the societal claws really come out. If that is what you want, to be a lightning rod. Then by all means go for it. More power to ya. But let’s not fool ourselves about passing or not and society acceptance.

For those that are going to go very litteraal about the wording. Acting like them I would take to mean. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Just go about your business like all the other ladies in the store.

Cheers

[Teresa]

Tracy,
Surely that's the whole point of the comment made on this thread by Rayleen's friend . What is the point of dressing and going out as a woman if we don't adopt a female demeanour . OK I admit it's sometimes difficult when you encounter an awkward driver or you get a supermaket trolley that prefers to copy a crab and go sideways . I don't go OTT but I wish to be seen as a woman when dressed so obviously I will adopt female traits .

[Asew]

I totally agree with Tracy. It basically says crossdressers who pass are ok but crossdressers that are man in a dress are not. Seems likes she sees gender presentation as binary (either boy or girl, but not a mix of both).

[Teresa]

Asew,
Don't forget it was a comment from a GG , that's how she sees it and many members of the public , it really is the bottom line with many of the general public , it's going to take a long time to change that . All I know is I'm very happy and comfortable to be blending in with society , it's taken too many years to reach this point so I'm now going to start to enjoy it .

[Tracii G]

I don't see this thread lasting very much longer.
I do agree with the GG to a degree but when you take personal freedom of expression from someone thats when I have a problem.
I don't tell women who act and dress like men they can't do that I don't have that right.

[Teresa]

Tracii,
How many people do like laddish and loutish behaviour in women ? I certainly don't and usually give them a wide berth so OK that argument does work both ways !

[Leslie Langford]

I'm with Teresa on this one. The operative word from the GG here is "acceptance" - at least from her perspective.

Sure, for those crossdressers who insist on being out in public as MIADs or dressing in some other "in your face" manner" go for it...absolutely no one has the right to tell you what to wear, including your choice to sport tattoos, piercings, nose rings, dye your hair purple or any similar affectations that the "vanillas" might have a problem with. But at the same time, don't expect everyone to be on board with your choices, and don't be such a snowflake that negative perceptions or comments about your appearance will crush you.

The lady in question has outlined what she deems "acceptable" from her perspective and according to her value systems. As long as she keeps her mouth shut and doesn't try to impose her views on others, "no harm, no foul", I say.

[Joyce Swindell]

I think it's ​actually pretty funny. A statement like that might make me grow a beard and dress for her just for fun!

[Michelle Crossfire]

This friend told me : Quote " If you guys want to go out in public and be accepted as one of us, CD, TG or else, dress and act like one of us. Or else stay in hiding" unquote.

I don't know if its the general opinion of the majority, but I see a beginning of some mid age women more accepting.

Please share your opinions on this, this is only my opinion.

Rayleen

seems rather logical. if you want to blend, dress accordingly. If you don't want to blend or pass, you can dress as you wish, but probably won't be accepted as one of the GG's. that appears to be what the GG is trying to say. not so much dressing as you wish, but being accepted as a woman or female in public.

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So, the guy that wants to wear a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and a woman's t-shirt while shopping must act like a girl or stay home?

Words can't describe how ridiculously idiotic that is.

this also seems logical.

[Tracii G]

Basically what I was saying Leslie dress how you wish but be prepared for back lash if you dress in a "in your face" style.
I know some CDers that dress like hookers then get mad because people laugh at them.

[Queen Bridget]

Never let someone tell you how to dress or act.

Ever.

[Pat]

I think her opinion is fine, as is everyone else's. It's opinion, not law.

I tend to follow her guidelines in my own life where I want to establish long-term, friendly relationships with women in my own age group and interact with them on a social basis. If that's not what you're trying to accomplish, then of course you'd do something else.

[t-girlxsophie]

While I Dont disagree with the woman's point.I'll bear that in mind tonight at work when I spot a cpl of GGs shopping in their pyjamas and slippers

[docrobbysherry]

First off, I don't dress to blend or have any interest in going out dressed to Denny's or Walmart. Also, what one middle aged woman's opinion is doesn't concern me.

I just returned from a week dressed in Vegas. Not dressed like a hooker but like a classy, sexy young woman. As did most of the other 250+ T girls there!
Unfortunately, I am old and obviously a MIAD! Still, I got plenty of thumbs up, "U go, girl"s, and other encouragement as I walked thru casinos, restaurants, and along the Strip alone. Mostly from young women!

I encourage all of u to go out dressed in what makes u comfortable and confident. There's no way u can or will be accepted by everyone unless u pass 100% of the time. Just remember, don't let one bad apple ruin your girl times!

[AllieSF]

As has already been said, it makes sense what she says. However, I also read a negative undertone too. If many think that way, I also hope that they are equal opportunity criticizer's and they do that for their own cis-gender female or male population. First of all, TG's in any shape and form out in the wild are a minuscule number of people, except maybe in safe haven areas like California and similar locations. Second, way out there people who dress come from her own cis-gender crowd with their purple hair, piercings, tattoos, super over the top sexy or under the bottom grunge outfits. If she want to criticize, start with her own kind!

[Teresa]

Pat ,
I'm with you on this one, once you have that rapport you can bend the rules a little as some GGs would in the same circumstances .

Like you I wish to integrate , the dressing is part of my life but I don't want to let it rule it so I would play by her rules , I'm still planning to run my art group and know the guidelines and rules I'll have to work with but I'm perfectly happy with that if I'm totally accepted as Teresa , what more could I wish for ?

[Shelly Preston]

I think the woman in question was just saying dress for the occasion.

I have seen women all dressed up pop into a supermarket usually for a bottle of wine on the way to a party.

However you wont see the same style at 9 am

I don't think it was to curb how you choose to dress more to just be careful where you wear it.


Oh I did once see a CD in only a bra and a thong at 11 am, it was embarrassing to see that in public with young kids around.

[suzanne]

Your friend is dead on point with her comment. No hiding, but no over the top drag queen theatrics either. Just be.

If you own it, people will buy it.

[franlee]

I think the statement was true and sound advise to all of us.