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  1. #1
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    Purging all the clothes

    Today, I purged all my clothes again. This might be a good decision or a bad one, only time will tell.
    Would love to hear your experience about this.


    As for me:

    Reasons to purge
    1. De-clutter my room, as I am sharing house with a couple (who has no idea of my crossdressing choice)
    2. Afraid of being discovered, especially since burglary that happened few years ago and all my clothes were thrown around the room
    3. The ladies that i might date or bring home might accidentally find my clothes
    4. Gravitate towards a minimalist lifestyles
    5. Crossdressing can be a very expensive lifestyle. The urge to go out in public (driving 30 miles away from home), makeups, wigs etc costs money

    Reasons I might regret
    1. Already regretted spending $100-200 for some really cute summer clothing 6 weeks ago, which has gone to the clothes donation bin
    2. Spending lots of money again if or when i succumb to crossdressing again

  2. #2
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I must have purged a hundred times in my life.
    Mainly thirty plus years ago when society was more against it.
    Now I just try to keep my stash as small as possible.

    When I was about 17 I was dating a very nice girl and thought I could quit so I burned my stash.
    It's strange, we were having incredible sex just about every day for over a year but I still kept dressing every time I got the chance!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  3. #3
    Member Read only MiniRock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing View Post
    It's strange, we were having incredible sex just about every day for over a year but I still kept dressing every time I got the chance!
    That resonates with me Judy. Right now I'm in a good place in my life with a woman whom I adore. I certainly don't want for sex. Does that satiate my urge to put on women's clothes? No, on the contrary, it accentuates it!

    You look very good in your avatar by the way.
    Last edited by MiniRock; 05-25-2018 at 02:44 AM.

  4. #4
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    Hi Irene , RULES for PURGING !

    Rule No. 1, Never Purge !!

    Rule No. 2, If you feel that you really must Purge,

    . See RULE No. 1 AGAIN !!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Orchid......
    Last edited by BLUE ORCHID; 05-24-2018 at 05:37 PM.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  5. #5
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    Why are you complaining and making up excuses? Is it because you can't accept who you are?

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member LeannS's Avatar
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    Irene if you have a privacy issue and security is a problem get a storage locker. Store your things there.
    But never purge it only costs you more in the long run. Oh you will replace the things you got rid of and more storage locker is the answer
    If you can't laugh and have fun you might as well go home.

  7. #7
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    Been there, done that....and frankly, I have regretted it each time. (two major purges) I can't predict anyone's future. All I can say is that, despite the best of intentions, I find my way back to this point.

    My motivation, in retrospect, was magical thinking. I wanted to believe that by purging and denying this aspect of myself, I would somehow restore a fatally damaged relationship. It couldn't work, and didn't. I threw away thousands of dollars of clothing and accessories due to wishful thinking. Not that many weeks ago, I purged again, for essentially the same reason...that I couldn't manage a relationship and be transgender. Well, I can't not be transgender...it is not a thing I can dispose of...its intrinsic. Makes it necessary for me to look at the nature of relationships that I can have.

    But that was just my personal experience.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by kimdl93; 05-27-2018 at 03:28 PM.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member krissy's Avatar
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    I have purged before too .I regretted it had to start over every time im 60 now i have about 4 boxes of clothes and now i worry that if i die what am i going to do about the clothes i just know i cant trow them out sure as hell ill want to dress again. and since i found this site i have come to accept myself.its who i am and no one or nothing will change it. so if you can avoid purging i would

  9. #9
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quitter. There are numerous easy ways to keep this activity clandestine since you're so ashamed of yourself.
    Your reasons for purging are weak and runny. I believe your real issue is paranoia.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  10. #10
    Member Richelle423's Avatar
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    I purged once. All I can say is that it will haunt you like a ghost and before you know it you will enjoy buying more clothes again. Just learn to accept yourself for who you are. Hugs and kisses..... xoxo

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    I cycle my clothing regularly, getting rid of stuff I don't wear or in one case I wore an outfit out and clearly didn't blend in. It went into the goodwill bin as soon as I got home. I will never wholesale purge ever again. Of course now it would be several thousand dollars worth of stuff.

  12. #12
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    Thank you for all the replies.
    Yes, I am aware of the high chance to crossdress again in the future (been through it several times in the last 20 years).

    @CarlaWestin is right to claim it as paranoia, not about being ashamed though. This will always be true for any of us who has not or decided not to come out to family and friends.

    @AuntKelly, thank you for sharing your experience.

    @Alice Torn, you saying "getting myself in dangerous territory" resonates with how i feel. In the last few months, my clothes collection has doubled and i begin to toy around with the idea of risqué behaviour and dressing styles.

  13. #13
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    I had another thought on purging. What's done is done. Of course, its apparent that most of us here are unsuccessful at quitting....and most of us have tried many times at different stages in life. Its not bad to try to quite. its not bad to purge and its not bad to start the cycle all over again. It just is.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  14. #14
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Damn, ladies... A little more diplomacy, maybe?

    Yes, we've all been there, and some of us have learned that the only thing a purge accomplishes is to impoverish us all over again when the inevitable happens, but let's at least pretend to be sympathetic.

    Irene, sweetie, they are correct, you know. You will "succumb" again. That will not be a "failure" and it is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. Trust us - you will be happier when you accept this. Yes, discovery is a consideration, but the risk of that should guide your discretion, not your sense of self. Same goes for any potential paramour. When the relationship starts to look serious, it's time to have "the talk". Whatever the result at that point, it will be better than that which will follow the almost inevitable discovery of months, or years, of deception.
    I wish I could tell you how I made that emotional leap to self acceptance. It was long enough ago that being TG was far from in vogue, and coming out to the woman who is still my wife was one of the scariest things I have ever done. It could have gone sideways right then. Odds say it should have, but I had decided that this person was special enough that she deserved to know all of me.

    All I am saying is that this is who you are. Not a label. Not a category. Just another unique person, who deserves to be happy with herself as she really is.

    Hugs,


    Kelly

  15. #15
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    What did Julia Roberts say in Pretty Woman? "Big mistake. Huge".

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Get a big plastic bag and mothballs shove all your clothes in that until you can come to some decision.

    You then have a second chance. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Yes, I have purged a couple of times and in each case regretted it later. For me it occurred when I thought I was over my crossdressing (silly me) and believed i had no use for my things anymore. Since I now know that's not the case and I have accepted who I am I will never purge again.

  18. #18
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
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    You could have gotten a locked trunk for under the bed or closet, and if seen, say it was clothes an old girlfriend left and they have sentimental value. Would address many of your items...
    Hugs, Ellen

  19. #19
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    That's funny Ellen. For a minute there I believed you were suggesting she claimed they were the clothes of an ex girlfriend that had so much sentimental value that she has to keep them in a locked box under the marital bed! Best grounds for divorce I've ever heard.

  20. #20
    Harriette Harriettes's Avatar
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    I have purged a few times over the years. The main reason was not guilt but storage and security concerns due to moving from one home to another. I have not regretted getting rid of anything but I can certainly understand that feeling. I now have the largest collection of bras, lingerie and dresses than I ever had and would be extremely unhappy to purge my stash. The upside is the thrill of shopping for replacements.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I purged about two year ago for the second time. I am finally coming to the realization that this is an integral part of me that will not go away. So once again I have to assemble a new wardrobe lol. But this time it WILL be the last.

  22. #22
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    Reason #5 for doing it is reason #1 reason for regret and not to do it as you are probably just going to slowly restock your feminine wardrobe anyway.

    Although I have to admit #3 had me worried the times my wife stayed over night when we were dating.

    BTW: 30 miles is nothing, I have driven further than that just going out for dinner.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-25-2018 at 10:12 AM.

  23. #23
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    Aunt Kelly no sense in coddling a person. Thats part of what is wrong with some people today they have been coddled all their life.
    If they are a quitter let them know.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I purged twice, most recently two years ago, with the same thought as many; that I would never need them again. Like the others I was wrong. I came back a few weeks ago; assembling new outfits, wig, etc. Glad to be back, and no more purging.

  25. #25
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    I've never felt the need to purge, mainly because I love dressing and never want to stop. The waste of money involved is also a factor. I can understand that people might have a good reason to do it though.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

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