I wrote last weekend about going out dressed and being seen by the neighbors across the street, how excited and scared I was and I want more.I don't need to be seen by the neighbors I just need to be out during the daylight, more excitement and less fear.I've been thinking about it all week and I can't wait for Saturday.I feel like I've taken a giant step in my crossdressing ,I'm getting to the point where I want what makes me happy and this definitely does.
Everything you always wanted is on the other side of fear.George Addair.
another way to look at this is, that you want to be able to feel "normal". Dressing in privacy grows to feel like confinement for some of us. For others, its just fine. And I think that feeling that you can be you in public can be a defining moment.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I feel the same as you. Don't realy want to go out or get caught or anything, but just someone to dress with and share with.
I hear you. Just did my first public outing ever and the freedom of walking around and feeling pretty was intoxicating. I will do it again!
I agree with Kim, dressing behind closed doors and hiding always made me feel as if something were wrong with me, once
I made it out the door in public the shame began to end, but then others once they knew about my dressing and didn’t agree with it brought that shame back as if once again I was wrong. Finally I decided I’m just being me and it’s someone else’s problem if they don’t like it
I'm a great supporter of getting out for all the reasons you hear here, and the more that we do it the more the world will adapt, as long as we are just being normal people in the world!
I saw some pushback at school- in the sense that the first time people are thinking it is an activist statement, which at school is fine. Then as I continued it was- hmm what kind of person is this?. Then, it became more like oh that's that strange guy/or really nice guy- depending on whether they knew me or were just retreating into group think and nurse whatever conflicts they feel from my genderqueer look. They treat me like they would any stranger who looks out of sync with what they see as their common culture- polite-ish if contact is needed. But mostly clerks and such are friendly- as they have learned that everyone deserves and usually returns a nice smile and warm remark.
And we get to feel that wonderful feeling of enjoying cross-dressing in the real world. It looks to me like most people are not enjoying their clothes and walk any more- which feels sad to me- and I feel guilt at times because I am!
We are all beautiful...!
Get out and have fun.
Dress appropriately for where you are going.
Karen,
Someitmes it's hard to know what that driving force is , from my own experience it's a very powerful almost overwhelming one.
It does raise the contradiction that you really want to be out and yet the first hurdle is not wanting to be seen by the neighbours. I covered that one very quickly because as soon as I moved into my new home I found ways to approach all my neighbours to tell them about my TG situation. I have been seen by all of them now and it's getting better, the first hurdle is they don't rush off indoors , so there is an acceptance , we haven't exchanged a conversation yet apart from one guy just stared at me so I from a house further out so I greeted him with a " Good Morning !" he just waved back .
Once in the town it all feels very normal now, I've visited a selection of shops , and done most of my other jobs , it does get to the point where you stop glancing round and wondering what people think , once you do that they mostly don't take a second look at you . OK we are talking about wanting to blend , to be part of the community , that's how I want it to be because it could become my whole lifstyle .
Dare I say by the end of the day you almost forget you are dressed , I never thought I would be able to wear a wig all day but it's happened . As for using the right toilet I don't give it much thought .
I was full of trepidation the first time I went out in daylight, now I do it regularly. As has often been said the fear is just in your head, once you get past that there will be no stopping you.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
I always what wanting more really means? I have been out and about dressed in a friendly environment and that was fine. i enjoyed the experience and the feel of the cool autumn air on my shaved legs and stockings.
But i do not feel comfortable being in an environment where i would be clocked in a heartbeat for the way i look, the way i would walk in heels or if i were to speak with someone. That would provide absolutely no satisfaction for me and I would be full of anxiety all the time. For me I obsess on collecting makeup style pics, trying out makeup techniques, making jewelry and shopping for outfits and then having my own fashion shows. It's my joy, it's the way i enjoy crossdressing.
I have seen gurls out in the mall, and that is great if that's what they want more power to them. But if i put myself in their presentation, i just wouldn't but that's me.
I am convinced you can enjoy crossdressing on whatever level you decide to pursue it. If that means you must be out and about and can pull it off that's great.
Last edited by darla_g; 05-26-2018 at 12:29 PM.
A natural progression to want more, daylight hours offer safety and variety.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Everyone TALKS about the weather but no one DOES anything about it!
If u want to get out? Then do it, Karen!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
That's a perfectly valid reason for not going out. I mean, what's the point if you're so wound up that you can't enjoy yourself?Originally Posted by darla_g
That said, I firmly believe... no. I know (from experience), that all that anxiety is often born of misconception. Worried about "getting clocked"? The plain fact is that most of us are anyway. Passing... is... a... myth. But if you dress and comport yourself appropriately, most people, by far, will respect that and treat you accordingly. I know that that's hard to believe until you've actually experienced it. Unless they're assholes (and yes, they're certainly out there too), people will just play along. It's amazing.
It's not about "pulling it off". With the rare exception, nobody is fooling anybody. It's way more about changing one's mindset and being comfortable with who you are.
Aunt Kelly, I am sure you are correct. I am looking for a good opportunity to get dolled up and mingle. Maybe an appropriate event.
Aunt Kelly,
That's how it is if you want to be out and about . My thoughts exactly on passing , the comment I mostly receive is "blending well " . Comport yourself appropriately , I've found once you stop looking over you shoulder people stop looking back , if you don't expect a reaction you may not get one . Not pulling it off , I guess you could reword it as leaving sufficient doubt , Ok no fooling them when you speak to them, even so it is amazing as you say . I'm basically doing my normal jobs dressed in a different way .
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