It's been a whirlwind spring. So busy; and sorry to not check in and share all the good stuff with my Sisters.
First,.... I have officially made First Contact. No, not with alien life forms; with professional gender identity help. I attended my first Transgender Support Group meeting and have been to 2 more since. I can't believe I have actually stepped off on this journey (as we call it). Not just mentally take that first step of transition and self-realization, a real step.
The first meeting I did on the fly. I'd not planned to attend the regular weekly meeting (of which I knew time/location), because I had other obligations. When I found my duties over early and the GBLT Center nearby, I decided to drop in. No appointment required. I was in full testosterone drab at the time, having just finished umpiring a high school baseball game and no time to change out of my baseball clothes. The girls there must have though me - the scruffy stranger - to be a fraud or freak. All of them were dressed and in various stages of MtF transition. I won't bore with the details, but it went so amazingly well !! Despite my un-femme appearance, the group of about a dozen heard my story and knew I was sincere.
The next weeks I came back en femme. I've made a couple (almost) friends. Most importantly, I've acquired personal advice on where to find good professional therapy help. Now that I've opened my own door to the "community", I intended to get on with it; at least SPEAK about my CD/TG with a therapist. Try it out. I will do that when I return from my mission to take my boat east.
That's the second news. I have been dressing. Dressing openly. Dressing more around the house (sans a lot of the body shaping or make up). Dressing to go OUT (support meetings) and with the knowledge of my beloved wife. I know she still dreads it [going out in full femme), but she is abiding patiently as we work on the future together.
Starting in mid June just prior to Pride Weekend, I have about 5 weeks 'home alone' this summer while my wife stays at our summer east coast retreat. I will miss her dearly, especially as things between us per CD/TG issues has been going well. But it also offers me space to be all the Ilene I wish to be 24/7. Looking forward to it.
It's been a while since I posted anything significant. Needed to find the words, and I wanted to share. You Girls.... you strange and beautiful girls have always been a source of inspiration and wisdom for me. Were this forum of friends not available to me I would have self immolated me and my relationship long ago over dealing with my femininity issues. Not really an issue either. I love this. But thanks, AGAIN. I would not find myself here, in a more positive place for both my marriage and my femme life.