Started to go out dressed recently, all eyes on me !, no they aint, in heels im nearly 6ft walking I pass lots of peeps same size, they dont blink an eyelid over them
Started to go out dressed recently, all eyes on me !, no they aint, in heels im nearly 6ft walking I pass lots of peeps same size, they dont blink an eyelid over them
Many, many members of this forum will tell you the biggest obstacle to going out is not what others will say, but our own fears about what they will say. Once you learn no backlash is forthcoming, you can begin to enjoy your freedom. Congratulations on making that first step. Keep it up.
It is true, it is all in your head, to a point.
You are going to interact with others sooner or latter
Eventually coming to a place that it all becomes normal.
Enjoy the journey.
Love Jean
I have to agree with the others, our biggest problem is ourselves. Once you realize that it gets easier to just go out and enjoy yourself
Debs,
Let not your heart be troubled. Most of it is in your own inflated sense of awareness and self-consciousness.
I am 6'3"/ 215 in flat shoes. When I don heels it adds another2-3 inches. Believe me, none of the general viewing public sees many natural GG's as tall as me. Even a GG would stand out like a sore thumb at my height.
But I go with it. I have an audacious side; TOO audacious for many who personally know me. Tell anyone you know that can handle the truth of your dressing that it takes a "real man" to wear a dress..... and in public proudly. Yes, it takes guts and you have it Debs.
Now..... get out there and be pretty. Be you.
There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.
Sorry, Nobody cares. Its funny `I have been going out for a long time I thnk I pass fairly well and don't get read But then I catch some one eying me and they turn away and then I realize Nobody cares. Have Fun but keep life in perspective.
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Sorry, Nobody cares. Its funny `I have been going out for a long time I thnk I pass fairly well and don't get read But then I catch some one eying me and they turn away and then I realize Nobody cares. Have Fun but keep life in perspective.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Im 205 and 5-10. Any 👠 put me at 6 plus. Put on a presentable look and go with it. Act normal and few will take notice. As others have said, getting past your own fears is what its about.
That's a view shared by many, the stares, pitchforks and burning at the stake.
The stares do occur sometimes, you should bury them with your fears.
Own it and play safe, malls in the daytime are best, usually before school finishes. :-)
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I go out a lot. But, only by necessity. U need to get used to the attention. Or, be able to ignore or relish it!
It ain't all rainbows and unicorns out there! Unless u r the unicorn that passes.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Totally true Debs...99.99% of people out there either don't notice or don't care.. we tend to focus on the 0.001%
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
I agree to a point. But, people are very good at hiding their feelings, and thoughts. And, there are always a few, who, given the right setting, and at night, could be a problem.
Debs,
The last time I went out in heels during the day I guess I topped out at 6'1". Yep some noticed me, others were too busy in their own little worlds.
Which ever camp folks fell in nothing was said either way. SA' s were nice and engaging, all was good. The only untoward thing was I'd not spent a lot of time wearing those heels so they quickly made my feet ache!
So partly for that reason and partly to bring my height down to a smidge under 6' I've bought some lower heels.
The important thing however is not my height it's how I present. I'm now confident in myself. I'm now one of those going about their business in their own little world. I've stopped constantly scanning those around me to see who's looking but that said I still use my spidy senses to keep me safe from the one in a million.
The first time I stepped out of my car in daylight my legs were like jelly, I thought everyone would instantly clock me, point me out, shout something. After a few minutes I realised that no one even noticed me, wow, what a relief! Now I think nothing of it. Well done on getting out there Debs.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
It is very true Debs it is all in the head. My Paranoia is at it's worst the following day when I have to settle back into normal life like work or meeting friends. I always wash my face and shower about 5 times but still overly paranoid that I missed a bit of eyeliner or mascara.
It is tough getting over that paranoia, but there is nothing like sitting with a sister and enjoying a cup of coffee in public. That's how it should be. I will probably always be a little paranoid, that's just me. Thank you for sharing this moment. Brenda
Part of the reluctance of going out en femme is not necessarily being seen as a man wearing women's clothing. Yes, few people will create a confrontation. Yes, maybe there is a disapproving look or a sneer or even an off color comment. Part of the 'fear' is the potential of losing family and friends, and, worse, a job. If you're married and have children there is always the possibility they will be victims of the unintended consequences. From what I have read on this forum many express themselves at venues and places where contact with people who know you is minimal. Tolerance never equals acceptance. It's not as easy as "just do it!"
The other day when I went to my first group run in a skirt I felt just like Diane F. Getting out of the car I felt as though all the eyes were on me. I had to sign a waiver on a smart phone and I was trembling mess of nerves the whole time. But I was fine after a minute or so when it was tolerated
Definitely agree how a lot of is our own mind's fear.
I've said it before........
As long as you look reasonably feminine when dressed, no one wil give you a second look.
1) You mast dress your age and according to the weather.
2) You must have the total attitude that you are doing nothing wrong and are just wearing clothes that ever other woman is wearing... and you have every right to wear them .... you are supposed to wear them .
3) You have to go about you businesses just as any other woman would and not keep looking over your shoulder or avoiding people .
In other words, you must act and carry yourself like a woman.
If you act nervous, people will notice and you will attract unwanted attention .
IF you act like you are doing something wrong people will assume that you are.
So, dressing appropriately and confidence it the key.
BTW keep in mind that not every woman is a beauty and many have rather masculine faces etc .
Even Kaley Cuoco (TBBT) has rather broad solders and narrow hips for a woman.... for an example .
So, do what ant woman does.... accentuate your good points while minimizing your bad ones with fashion " tricks"
There is a reason why Kaley usually wears print blouses on TBBHT .
Last edited by Barbara Jo; 05-31-2018 at 12:36 PM.
Debs,
If you dress appropriately then most of your problem is inside your head . I've found the less you pay attention to their reactions the less reaction you will receive .
OK I'm going to donate blood tomorrow dressed which will be a first after donating 67 pints in drab , as it turns out I have a few appointments tomorrow which will be interesting .
Ime experience tall gurls or GGs who wear tall heels look really, well, tall. I used to have a gurl friend who was quite tall, she was pretty fearless but didn't wish to stand out any more that necessary so she saved the high heels for when we went clubbing, where who cares if you stand out, right? For mainstream retail etc she wore flats and it really did seem to cut down on the second looks. Fwiw.
I couple of years ago I was nervous as could be buying a pair of nylons. Now, I have no hesitation when buying a blouse, skirt or dress, to admit it is for me. It turns out, it is all okay.
Well done on the blood donations, Teresa - and good luck with going dressed.
I had managed 97 whole blood donations before my heart attack, after which I had to stop. Luckily they took pity on me and credited me with three donations so I was able to retire with the magic 100 and get my 100 gold pin and crystal decanter. Even so I still wish I could have carried on donating. As my HA was back in 2001 I would have been over 150 donations by now.
Sasha
bs , Most people are so wrapped up in themselves that
they are not paying ay attention to their surroundings>Orchid......
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
More important, is that as long as you don't intrude on THEIR lives, most people don't care. 99% of us won't pass. Understand that. It's not whether you pass or not, it's whether they care or not. Most don't. Just dont fool yourself into thinking no one does. Stay safe. GG's know this. You should, too.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.