Who else at work thinks this?

[Stephanie Julianna]

I seem to have friends here who are interested in my recent weight loss and any creossdressing adventures I try to put together. But this is something that I never expected. I pride myself in the fact that my two lives as male and female never intersect and like many in the male mode vs. girl mode thread my two personas do not look anything alike. That being said, all of the nurses and staff at my facility have responded very positively to my recent weight loss. However, the young pharmacist who works there made an interesting comment and made sure many around could overhear it. So he said, "Hey there Bobbie, let me know when you start your transition." Well that was a bit of a surprise. I am not stupid and I do know that with the weight loss I look more petite and lost a lot of muscle mass in my arms especially. Since I wear short sleeve scrubs my arms are exposed and thay are also smooth and hairless. I also wear woman's tapered white cotton slacks and sneaks. My scrub tops are also women's with the little expansion slits at the hips at the hem line that are meant to accomodate a lady's hips. But I have been dressing like this for years with hardly ever a comment. So what changed with the weight loss? Not to let him have the last word, my girl mind rose to the task and I answered, "I'll let you know but don't expect I'd ever date a jerk like you." All the nurses in ear shot cracked up laughing especially because this guy is famous for being inappropriate with them as well. I felt really good about their including me in their group when a few told me later that they were thrilled to see me put him in his place. But I got to think, how many really know? If they do, I love them even more for never letting it seem to be an issue and letting me live and work as the person and the nurse I love being.

[Samm]

I bet no one there had any thought whatsoever about how you dress at work, or your "other side". That is, until that comment. Maybe.
If anyone did have an idea, they obviously have no problem with you, or you would have known long before now.
My guess is your coworkers like you for who you are. Nothing will change that, not even being outed intentionally, or accidentally. (I'm not saying you're outed here)
I say just roll with it.
But if he says anything more, just show him your avatar pic

[Connie D50]

Good for you Steph in both the way you handle the comment, and what I like best is the way your other nurse have let you be you.

"I felt really good about their including me in their group when a few told me later that they were thrilled to see me put him in his place. But I got to think, how many really know? If they do, I love them either more for never letting it seem to be an issue and letting me live and work as the person and the nurse I love being. "

[Laura912]

Well played, Steph. Knowing how things go around a bunch of nurses, they mostly enjoyed the jerk getting slam dunked by you, and I wager that they were thinking of your male gender doing the dunking.

[IleneD]

Touche', Stephanie.
Well played.

And... I had no idea you are a medical professional. My respects, dear.

[Teresa]

Stphanie,
I'll answer you question with a question and that is , " Does it really matter ?" How much would it affect your job now ?

I like your put down to the guy posing the question

[Beverley Sims]

A good retort, and I think you can now just own it. :-)

It appears you have moral support from elsewhere.

[Sashauk]

Well done Steph! I just love that put down - he must have felt a real fool in front of all the nurses.

[Stephanie47]

I went back and refreshed my memory of your before and after pictures of your weight loss journey. Impressive. If you have been working with the same crew of nurses for many years I'd would venture a guess they have an inkling of your personal life. If I remember correctly you have shown up as a woman at the job on some occasions; nurses white dress, hosiery, etc. If you choose to wear women's scrubs perhaps that adds to some conjecture. Does it matter? I think your coworkers accept you as a professional and a friendly coworker.

It is possible there has been a little chatting going on behind your back. Perhaps others are pondering whether there is some sort of journey occurring. It does not matter to these women. The male seems to be the sort of guy who invites an inquiry of a "hostile work environment." I'm surprised he has gotten away with harassing women for so long.

[carhill2mn]

A great put-down to a real jerk!

[suzanne]

Well played! Its hard to say whether the women are aware of your feminine side (fwiw, I think they are), but with that response, they are on your side and you can now probably be accepted into their confidence. If they invite you out for drinks, wear a dress. They will accept and maybe even encourage you.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Update and some answers. I wore the nurse's dress at a different facility as pictured in an old thread, "Taking the Dare". So this crew never saw that. I have realized for a while that many of my nurse coworkers are suspicious, Interestingly enough I think they treat me nicer because of it. Over the years there were ocassional comments about my soft smooth hairless arms, perfectly shaped brows, and small shoe size. One aide noticed that we were both wearing the exact same white sneakers, pretty laces and all. She asked me my size and I said "A women's 8-81/2. I sometimes have to go to the ladies' department because they don't have my small size in the men's area." This aid then said something like. "OMG, my feet are bigger than yours, mine are size 9." Well she is also taller, She's 5'8" and I'm 5'5". So I am aware that my uniform choices and physical changes over the years have blurred a few lines. However, with age, I have also found that I don't really fear exposure and have long decided that if someone asked, I would gladly admit my femme side and even let them see pics on my phone if they asked. No one has yet since the women are much more sensitive to others needs than many men who don't think past their shoes. Lastly, that pharmacist finally got fired. Bullies never win!

[Teresa]

Stepanie,
So you could say the guy had to take his own medicine in the end !! Sorry about that. !
I feel slightly guilty as I have a nurses uniform tucked away in pale blue with white piping and matching blue nurses belt . Very few in the NHS wear them in the UK anymore , I'm not sure if it's to do with it being more practical to wear a tunic and trousers or it's an equality policy , so many are now going for a unisex look like the Police force ( No the guys haven't started wearing skirts , well not on duty anyway !!).

[DIANEF]

Always satisfying to put the loud mouthed and self opinionated in their place Stephanie. Speaking of people knowing, I used to work in retail with an all female staff. We would joke about many things, including me wanting to wear their uniforms. I would laugh it off but I swear at least one woman would look at me and be thinking, 'you're not joking are you.....' ( I did get to wear the uniform by the way.)

[DMichele]

Stephanie,
Great story especially after the pharmacist was fired. I suspect your colleagues are aware of your femme side based on the clothes and shoes you wear. But more important than the attire, you are very likely well respected for the work you do and the way you treat people, so the clothing is very secondary I am sure in the demanding job.

Congrats for being yourself!

[alwayshave]

Stephanie, Great comeback. There is nothing more satisfying than shutting down a bully. One of the administrative assistants made comments about not removing all my eyeliner. I just ignored it.

[Sarasometimes]

I think that your female co-wprkers are aware of what you are wearing but, and yes this is a genaralization, women don't rush to confront like males do (case in point the jerky comment from the jerk). My guess is they know it and may chat a bit about it amongst themselves but most probably don't care or they support your choice to wear them. One trait most women have is the power to observe other people for cues of all sorts. neat brows, hairless arms side pleats on scrubs, women's shoes, they know but just don't let that affect how you behave/dress.
Congrats on the weight loss and the support you are getting from the women around you.

[BillieS]

Hi Steph! It sounds like you have great colleagues — now, especially! — who accept you for who you are.

That’s a pretty great result all around.

[Joyce Swindell]

When I read your post... before I got to your response I thought my response would have been a question on the same lines...." Why? Are you looking for a date?" But I like your response even better.

[Cherylgyno]

I don't think anyone would ever think that I will transition. I am 6'6", about 250 back in the day my nick name was Big John because of the song.
Every one at work knows that I have breasts and that I wear a bra. Kinda hard to hide D cup breasts, then again I don't try.
What I do think about is when a GG at the office snaps my band a little. I think if I did that to her there would be hell to pay.

[DaisyLawrence]

I feel slightly guilty as I have a nurses uniform tucked away in pale blue with white piping and matching blue nurses belt . Very few in the NHS wear them in the UK anymore , I'm not sure if it's to do with it being more practical to wear a tunic and trousers or it's an equality policy , so many are now going for a unisex look like the Police force ( No the guys haven't started wearing skirts , well not on duty anyway !!).

Being married to a career nurse I can tell you it is because of the constant sexual harrassment and groping by male patients that nurses in traditional dress type uniforms were subjected to. The older the patients were the worse it was. I think the phrase 'dirty old man' must have been coined in a hospital. I wonder why anyone that is not a nurse would want a nurses uniform for any reason other than to particpate in and perpetuate the myth that a female nurse is just for the sexual gratification of men. The uniform may be a good choice for someone with a sexual fetish but I find it a bit strange for someone on the 'transgender spectrum'. In fact I find it amazing that anyone would admit to owning something that is produced with the sole aim of reinforcing the sexual objectification of a entire group of caring woman. Sorry but it's a hot topic in my circle of friends, it's tunics and trousers in our hospital.

[phili]

Gosh Steph- if your hospital allows for dresses, and you'd like them, I'd go for it and just swat away the gropes. It sure sounds like your coworkers are fine with you, otherwise they would let their eyes linger on your uniform and try and get you to flinch.

Maybe there is a reason to keep the binary going, but if not- let yourself go over the waterfall! I thought finding a balance was good, but whenever I am feeling I am totally free it is much much better!