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Thread: Accepting ones self

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member
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    Accepting ones self

    I've been on a bumpy journey and the end is not yet in sight.

    But......

    Everything I do now is filled with less guilt and a freedom of the mind I didn't have before.

    What we do is so against the grain. Sadly.

    But I'm sure I'm on the right path. I just want to be me and through all the negative I'm positive about ME.

    I'm uncertain for the future, but then if everyone stood still for a minute and thought like that they would feel the same.

    I genuinely love everyone close to me and would do everything in my power to reciprocate that love. I just hope they find that strength too.

    Say what you want. Until it's on your doorstep you never know how you will react. But if the love is true it will be alright in the end. That's what the movies say right?

    Love to you all wherever you find yourselves right now x

    Tammy
    Last edited by Tamsin Secret; 06-03-2018 at 09:45 AM. Reason: One too many emojis :-)

  2. #2
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    Hi Tammy,

    Thank you for posting such a wonderful message!

    I have long since accepted this part of me and I feel much better having done so.

    Elizabeth
    Last edited by Elizabeth G; 06-03-2018 at 11:21 AM.

  3. #3
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    Is there really an end to this journey we're all on here? In a way, I hope not.
    I'm enjoying the trip right now. Not really worrying about the destination.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Very nice post. Thank you for sharing.

  5. #5
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    Sadly, this ain’t the movies. Accepting yourself is essential for living some semblance of a happy life as a transgender person. Being accepted by others is entirely at their option. Love between people does not equate acceptance. No amount of reciprocation can assure acceptance or tolerance. It’s a crap shoot, at best.

  6. #6
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    But devoid of hope in any given situation there is nothing so I'm going with the former x

  7. #7
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    Tammy,
    They are lovely thoughts and we all wish they could be true then reality puts an oar in !!

    Many years ago UK TV featured a drama about a CDer , it was called , " A little bit of lippy !" It featured a young CDer who was married with a young baby , the wife walked in on the crossdressing in process . The outcome was being forced out of the home for a few days and some rough treatment from family and friends . The wife realised an overraection and that the person was still the same one only dressed differently sometimes. So gradually life returned to a stable situation the couple loved each other more than ever , the final scenes if I recall were the couple taking the baby in the pram for a walk with mum and hubbie dressed. So all was good with a happy ending , so I came out to my wife and sadly it didn't follow the story line . Tammy I hope your's does , we aren't bad people we mean no harm and yet so many appear to want to hurt us .My wife told me how she suffered for twenty years after I came out , so I told her how it must feel to me , no it didn't wash I was the guilty party .

  8. #8
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I also thank you for the well worded post. I accept myself and always have. At my age it is not such a great leap of faith and now my wife is far more accepting, life is very good. For our younger members there is nothing to be ashamed of what you desire and whereyou are going. It may be bumpy at times, but enjoythe ride.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    it did take me a while to accept myself. Yet, I am happy with myself now. I see no end to this. My girlfriend loves me no matter how I am dressed.
    Part Time Girl

  10. #10
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
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    Self love and appreciation is so important to living a healthy life. Enjoy

  11. #11
    Silver Member Frannie7's Avatar
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    Nicely put, Tammy. Thanks for this.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Keep the love flowing Tamsin and you can overcome any guilt you may have.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
    New Member Leigh_n_il's Avatar
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    Thank yo so much for the wonderful words Tammy.

  14. #14
    Member Valentina_Rossi's Avatar
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    I think one has to accept one's self, since i think the desire to dress, or to express a female side never goes away, though it may ebb and flow.

    My psychotherapist also says that this behavior does not harm anybody and in the end, why not? It does bring me great joy.

    I have to say, however, that I am still in the closet and I dread the day I will have to tell my SO.

    We do what we can, in the end.

    I do wish you the best in your journey, wherever it might take you.

    Love love
    Val

  15. #15
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    There is no question in my mind that accepting ourselves is essential, and it is progressive. If we are not beating ourselves up that is a step- and for years in this way I was accepting myself as a having a secret desire to dress and feel like a woman- that no one could accept or understand, but which was undeniable.

    Acceptance feels shallow and fragile without understanding. I have spent more than a year actively trying to understand every part of my impulse, and now I feel pretty clear about all that. This is sooo much better- I am peaceful with it, rather than haunted by it.

    And self-acceptance is only one hand clapping. We want acceptance from others, of course. And this is not something we can do- it is something they have to do.

    My peacefulness, from my full understanding of myself as clearly made it easier for others to accept me. This is a feature of humanity- checking how things are working out for others is a big part of how we decide what is ok.

    But things can get in the way- as with my wife, with whom I was sure that love would conquer all. She is hanging on with a death grip to her rejection of me when presenting femininely. I have benefited from accepting her as she is- today. I don't need to shout I am feminine if it makes her cry- to put it metaphorically. I can hold on to my optimism that love will eventually lead her to realize she wants to love the real me rather than half of me- but the clock might run out before that happens. I hope not!

    She is going out for the day- and I will change clothes and enjoy myself until just before she comes back. What comes with loving her is caring for her needs too.
    We are all beautiful...!

  16. #16
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    If you can accept yourself, and be confident that this is the right path for you, you can handle the rest. A lot of bad stuff can happen, and your life may change drastically, but you can handle it if you know you're on the right path for you.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    I told my wife about my dressing on our second or third date. She is wonderfully understanding and that helps with me accepting myself. Note that I said helps. More importantly is our acceptance of ourselves. We have to realize the type of person we are inside is far more important that what we wear on the outside.

  18. #18
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Accepting yourself as much as possible, I mean totally, is actually the foundation of any good valuable love and relationship with other people.

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