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Thread: Being seen by your mother .

  1. #1
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    Being seen by your mother .

    In my long thread titled , " What a week !" I posed the question of finding the right outfit if your mother was going to see you for the first time. ( If you read that thread you will get the full picture so I needn't tell it again ) .

    I had it in my mind several outfits but it was hard to decide , she knows about my CDing but has never seen me, so what look do I go for ? In the end I played it safe , my LBD came to the rescue again ,along with some smart black wedges , a neat jacket and not OTT with jewellery or makeup .

    I had to consider my age and my mother's so I guess my choice wouldn't be the same as others .

    So meeting your mother for the first time in a public place what would you choose to wear ?

  2. #2
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    That would depend on the place of course.
    Were we going shopping and lunch it would be much different that were we going to church, the doctor, etc.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

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    Cheryl,
    Maybe take a look at my other thread to get the whole picture , it's too long a story to repeat it .

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    Senior Member 2B Natasha's Avatar
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    Wow! Teresa you really get a workout gather all the information to answer this post!

    So. What would I wear? Good question. My mother knows but has never asked to see me. Fair enough. The real wrinkle in that is that she lives right next door to me and we share a common drive way. She also is an avid Gardner and works on her front yard the most. So I am surprised it hasn’t happened yet. I think the first time she sees me I would like here to see me in my favorite maxi skirt red top and silver beaded strap sandals. I think that outfit all out of all my clothes represents me the best. Unless of course it’s the holidays. Then it’s my gold sequined maxi skirt, red top and shoes of some nature. I’m dying to find some red patent flats.

    Cheers
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same

  5. #5
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    (I only wear skirts around others at this point). My mother-in-law first saw me in a purple mesh overlay skirt just above the knee (with one of the male purple t-shirts she bought me). My father-in-law first saw me in my midi jean skirt. I have seen my mom two times since she found out and kept it to shorts (though she did see my painted toenails). There is some anxiety and concern about this for me. I definitely will be selective when I do wear one around her. I think the jean skirt will most be the one I go with. But for me I think it is because it isn't necessarily as feminine as my other skirts so it would ease her from a thought to a visual. I know I will avoid plaid since it seems like she kind of wants to likens my skirts to wearing kilts and I don't want to reinforce that.

  6. #6
    Member Paula DAngelo's Avatar
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    Teresa,
    As others have said it would really depend on the circumstances of the meeting. My mother knows all about me and to be honest I can't remember where the first time was that we were out in public together. To put this in perspective, we've been out together at restaurants, shopping for food and furniture for her, doctors office visits, hospital emergency room visits along with follow up visits to her while she was recovering at the hospital and nursing facilities while she was recuperating, along with any other place that she has needed to go to during her every day life. Thru all of this she has seen me in dresses, a skirt, leggings, shorts, casual and dressy tops, and even (dare I say it) jeans. Honestly, which of the places and what I was wearing the first time, I can't recall, but regardless of which it was, the one thing I do remember is that she always was accepting of me and whatever I was wearing. As a foot note, the only thing I can think of that she hasn't seen me wearing is a swim suit, and it's just a matter of time (and location) until she sees that.

    My point is most mothers just want to see their children happy and as long as you are, and not totally over the top or completely inappropriate for the situation you should be fine.

  7. #7
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    My mother died so young I can barely even picture her. I'd be happy to wear a bin bag if it gave me the chance to see her again.

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    Paula,
    I assume you read my other thread to get the circumstances . I told her only a few weeks ago about my dressing , all she said was she would prefer to know the son she gave birth to , so I knew it might have been a problem . The question is should I have gone to the cinema dressed at all especially as it was also back in my home town ? Was it a selfish act or finally making a stand about my true identity ? So now I'm debating the question of attending my art group dressed , most of them know and seen my pictures .

    Daisy ,
    That's not such a silly suggestion , some time ago we were at BBQ with music after and one or two of the girls wore some nicely trimmed black bin bags, OK it's not a term I use often but they did look HOT ! So what your mum would have made of you in a bin bag is questionable . It does amaze me that I'm still in a situation where I have to consider my mother at the age of 88 and my dressing , especally when it was also in her work place .
    Last edited by Teresa; 06-04-2018 at 03:16 PM.

  9. #9
    Member Cherylgyno's Avatar
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    The first time (s) that my mother saw me dressed I was wearing pantyhose, bra, panties and a bodysuit all of which she had bought. I would be dressed for dinner when Dad worked late. This was age 6 through 18.
    Fast forward to the age of 45... Mom stopped over unannounced. I was wearing my LBD and 5" CFM pumps. Only comment was for her to ask my wife how I was able to walk in such high heels. Wife said years of practice.
    My wife gave Mom an 8x10 of me wearing that LBD. Mom placed that photo next to a photo of me in uniform.

  10. #10
    Member Paula DAngelo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    The question is should I have gone to the cinema dressed at all especially as it was also back in my home town ? Was it a selfish act or finally making a stand about my true identity ?
    Teresa,
    Only you can answer if you should have gone dressed, that's the question that we all have to answer for our self. As to was it a selfish act or making finally making a stand, I would say yes to both of those. To a point you are being selfish, but it's only because you are trying to be true to your self. Is it selfish to want to be happy? Yes it is, but then can you truly be happy if you're constantly hiding part of your self away? Again that's something you have to decide for your self. My mother is basically the same age as yours (she's 87) and she also would have rather that I stayed her son when I told her, but when it came down to her keeping me as her son, or knowing that I was doing what I needed to so that I could be happy and be my true self, it was me being happy that was more important to her. It wasn't an instant decision for her, it was one that came over time and seeing the changes in me. I'm just saying don't write your mother or your self off without giving it some time. Like I said before, most mothers want to see their children be happy.

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    I had to look for this article but I found it.

    It might help you .

    Its from Hannah Mcknight and her first outing with her Mother.

    https://hannahmcknight.org/2017/06/11/so-this-happened/

  12. #12
    Man in a dress marika_jaye's Avatar
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    The first time my mom saw me in a skirt, she laughed. I haven't worn anything remotely feminine in her presence since.
    It's spelled Marika, but it's pronounced Janey!
    Appreciate the beauty in the current moment, because the past is gone and tomorrow never comes.
    Janey's Amost Secret Crossdressing Blog: http://marikajaye.blogspot.com

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    Teresa when I first read your post I thought you were going to meet your Mother for first time, then I reread it and now it's sounds like it's in past tense, but I go read the original post and you didn't meet her at all.

    So this is a "IF" you were to meet your Mother for the first time.

    My answer is what ever I thought I looked my best in.

  14. #14
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    Teresa,

    My mother caught me when I was a teenager. She had came home early from work, walked in on me in her room wearing her bra, panties, stockings, skirt, with blouse. I was seated at her vanity putting on a pair of her heels. When I noticed her she only asked me if I could walk in her heels. I wanted to melt into the floor, but she coaxed me to stand and showed me how to walk in her heels. After a few minutes she sat me down and asked me if I was comfortable in her clothes. I told her that I was, but some of her clothes didn’t fit and were not very comfortable. She then picked out some clothes for me that she said would fit me better. Told me that if I wanted that I could wear them while she was there but not around my brother and sister, and certainly not around my dad.

    Those were fun and exciting times. She taught me how to sit, walk, choose the right lingerie to wear with what type of clothes. No one else in my family ever found out. It was our secret and it was wonderful. . .

    @—}——
    Michelle

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    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I believe that I did find the right and perfect outfit for my parents’ first time seeing me crossdressed. See these threads for the lead up and the conclusion of the outing to my parents and some family. https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...un!&highlight= And https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...015&highlight=

  16. #16
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    For my first time I just picked the one that I felt wonderful in- as I think that not only puts us in the right frame of mind to be seen by anyone-[they will feel how peaceful and happy and radiant we are- and that means a lot], but because I know now that when I am feeling at peace it doesn't matter what others are thinking- they just seem insensitive or small minded or lost in their own world, but it never touches me!

    Now mom asks about my sewing and I do a whole 5 change fashion show for her. It was very special- feeling perfectly accepted and approved by my mother.
    We are all beautiful...!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Hypothetically thinking here, maybe something conservative, but when she was alive and I was sixteen, I would have worn my best as a teenager I think.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

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    Samantha,
    The problem was I didn't know if she would be at work or not , so it was a 50-50 outcome.

    Phili,
    My LBD is lovely to wear and like all good LBDs it can be dressed up or down , I do feel good in it and very comfortable , it's a classic style that look good without upsetting anyone .

    I also feel the important point about the background to this question is she could have seen me in a very public place and not caught out hiding in a closet , hence my extra thoughts on deciding the right outfit to wear .

  19. #19
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post

    I also feel the important point about the background to this question is she could have seen me in a very public place and not caught out hiding in a closet , hence my extra thoughts on deciding the right outfit to wear .
    My question is why you never went to visit her before[at home]? She is your Mother,after all.
    Last edited by Pat; 06-07-2018 at 08:31 AM. Reason: fixed quote tag

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    To add on to Rogina's point.

    First I respect and admire you Teresa, and your courage is applauded.

    I know you weren't asking for this opinion.

    The reason I posted the Blog from Hannah Mcknight was She respected her Mothers wishes in that her Mom didn't want to see Hannah dressed.

    It broke Hannah's heart but Hannah respected her Mothers wishes,It was by accident that they met in the same mall.


    I don't think you should go to a place where your Mother works or visits and show up as Teresa.

    Not until She either knows you are coming or She has seen you in the past, to me its a bit of an ambush.

    When that day happens, dress your best, keeping in mind what your Mother would find tasteful.

  21. #21
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    Rogina,
    Most of that story is in Loved Ones section.

    The basic facts are only this year she approached the subject of whose decision was it to separate , I told her it was a mutual agreement , but basically down to my problem, so when she pressed the point I came out to her . She was OK then but two days later she rang to say she wasn't so happy and that I should apologise to my wife , then she added she fuilty and partly resposible . So I told her I would apologise and not to feel guilty because it's no ones fault . She was OK and added that she prefers only to see the son she gave birth to .

    If you want the updated part of this story the title is , " What a week !" in this section .

    Samantha ,
    At some point it now has to happen , I'm so out in my new home and town , the hiding has now stopped . Yes I did dress tasteful , the chances are she may not have recognised me .
    Last edited by Teresa; 06-06-2018 at 02:23 AM.

  22. #22
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    Yeah, the thought of my Mother seeing me fully dolled up makes my head spin and stomach turn, LOL.


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  23. #23
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    My mother saw me dressed twice, I remember the first time I was wearing a fancy satin floral dress, black hosiery and black 4" heels, makeup and pearls. Later on she saw pictures of me dressed and thought I had good taste (which of course she would think that, I modeled my style after her.)

    She was impressed I could wear such high heels.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Mom's past, I would never have the courage for dressing to her.
    Rayleen
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

  25. #25
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SamanthaToday View Post
    I had to look for this article but I found it.

    It might help you .

    Its from Hannah Mcknight and her first outing with her Mother.

    https://hannahmcknight.org/2017/06/11/so-this-happened/
    What a great story made me tear up thank you for sharing this.
    This is a great post makes your really think, My mom has passed I think I would wear what I think I looked the best in. It would be conservative and stylish.
    Last edited by Connie D50; 06-06-2018 at 07:38 AM.

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