Do you dress for acceptance or for yourself?

[confused_cathreen]

As a GG, I consider dressing up a nuisance and more trouble than it's worth. It's propably one of the things that women find perplexing about their CD partners. But I have been reading through the various threads of this forum, and one question presented itself: for those of you who haven't gone out in public dressed (and only those please!), why do you go through all the trouble? Is it for yourselves or with the ultimate goal of one day venturing outside? Do you consider every time you dress practice to reach that point of what you call "passing as female"? In extension to that, if your aim is to go out, was it always the aim or did it evolve to that? Would you be happy with never fullfilling that side of a CD's life? In short, is the pleasure you get from dressing up dependent on the acceptance of others or is it a deeply personal desire?

[Aunty_Hazel]

It is for me. To allow myself the freedom of being Hazel, even if no-one ever sees.

[wanabe-Leona]

Cathreen to me your question is a lot like asking WHY we even like to dress. I think for me it's just the satisfaction of being dressed, YES some day I'd like to go out and for that reason I dress at times attempting to think that I am at least to be bendable.
I hope that helps a little.

[Charlotte7]

Cathreen, it's because it's part of me, it's who I am. Ever since I can remember I have had this (quite large) part of me that is a girl. Nature played horrid tricks on me and made me look almost the spitting image of my father (a big man with a big man's face) so I'll never come close to passing. For me, just being able to sit here and type this in my Lindy Bop swing dress is enough, even though it's a quarter past nine in the morning here. As for dressing up, it's not a chore for me, though I don't wear make-up. This dressing up side of things though was recently brought into sharp focus as a I was watching a 1977 "Top of the Pops Greatest Hits of 1977" programme. First up were The Stylistics ("$7000 And You"), immaculately turned out in their red three-piece suits, tight, high-waisted trousers, dress shirts buttoned up to their neck, and large black bow ties, yes, in typical men's fashion trussed up like a turkey ready for the oven. Then a little later we had Baccarat ("Yes Sir, I Can Boogie") each wearing a gorgeous evening dress, with only thin straps over the shoulder, the dresses were loose, they were flowing, the material was sensuous, it was a picture of femininity. I know which way I'd rather dress, and who I identify more closely with. So yes, few people other than my partner of 30+ years will ever see it, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I can be me, being me.

[Lacey New]

Cathleen, I think you are asking some of us, me anyway to answer the impossible. Why do we crossdress at all? I wish I really knew and my search for an answer to that question brought me to this site several years ago. Guess what, I still don't know.

I have only underdressed outside of my home and I have no desire to try to pass as a female. Never could, never will. So why do I enjoy getting dressed up? Well, many years ago, there was undeniably an auto erotic element to dressing as well as the thrill of dong something that was looked on as being taboo. Perhaps, those elements provided the impetus to keep dressing. I also found that a little bit of dressing led to wanting to do more. If I put on a pair of panties, then what would a bra feel like? How about stockings, etc, etc. So here I am, years later, still very much in the closet with a collection of women's clothing that I get to put on on rare occasions. I guess I just enjoy the exercise from time to time and it is solely a personal experience.

[Pat]

for those of you who haven't gone out in public dressed (and only those please!), why do you go through all the trouble? Is it for yourselves or with the ultimate goal of one day venturing outside?

Moderator's note:

Please note that the OP has set a restriction on who answers. Moderators have to enforce that restriction and since I've just deleted four posts in a row I want to add this note. Please respect the OP's wishes. If you have been out and want to have your say, you can PM her or you can start a new thread.

Thanks,
Pat

[confused_cathreen]

Thank you all for your thoughts, always interested in learning about what makes people tick, especially when I have so much riding on not only learning but understanding. The question was not so much as to why in the wider sense do you dress. I researched this enough to know that there are millions of reasons, as many as people in the world who are CDers. It was in a way to understand whether it can also come from an exhibitionism angle ( without trying to be rude, of course) as in trying to attract attention, no matter if it's positive or negative. And of course I understand that all of you who already go out started out in the metaphorical closet. I asked specifically those who don't go out to understand whether the aim is always to one day "belong", as Phili wonderfully put it, to a wider society or is it just a deeply personal experience that you think is amazing to do in private. The cost/benefit calculation definitely applies to most of our lives and our decision making process. If it didn't, we would all be looking at making all our decisions depending on the benefit to us without considering the cost to us/family/community/society in general. That's why I am trying to understand the benefit side of this equation.

[Eryka1]

It is for me. To allow myself the freedom of being Hazel, even if no-one ever sees.

This is exactly how I feel. This is only for me.

[jacques]

hello Cathreen,
I dress because I cannot not dress.
I don't leave the house dressed. Though I often under-dress. I have no desire to pass as female.
It is part of me. I don't know why I have to do it. I know I feel unhappy if I don't dress.
I don't dress to impress others. I am so lucky that my wife accepts the whole of me.
luv J

[Sara.Blue]

For me, it is all for myself and I have no desire to go out in public.

I have CD in intermittent periods for most of my life, since 3rd or 4th grade. When I am in a relationship I tend to stop dressing and trade the Dressing desire for liking to see my SO in pretty lingerie and clothing. With clothing I'm not talking skimpy, but I appreciate a woman who dresses nice when we go out. That is also a change I make without effort.

I have never studied it, but its like MY dressing is not to become female, but rather to experience something pretty and feminine. I am 44 now. When I was younger it was also erotic, but now unless its clothing that is ultra sexy, just putting on undergarments, skirt and top has little sexual arousal, but I find it very comfortable.


Sara

[Gillian Gigs]

I do not go out visibly dressed, but I do underdress all the time. All my under garments are nylon and feminine in nature. Around the house I do wear skirts. I like the tactile feel of nylon against the skin and for this sensual feeling. I do it for myself, keeping the hassles to a minimum. I rarely do make-up and wigs, to me those are hassles. I would never pass as a female and don't care to, I just want to wear some of the clothes that go with being a female. Any aim that I may have toward going out would be as a male wearing a guy shirt, lingerie, skirt and hose. If I never when out it would be ok, I just wish that society would accept my wants to dress as I please. I'm not holding my breath waiting for things to change.

[confused_cathreen]

Now, that is interesting, Sara. Have you ever considered why you exchange your dressing for your partner dressing? Do you feel deprived or denied an outlet when you go through the partnered periods? Does it give you the same levels of pleasure to look at the clothes/lingerie on your partner? I am kinda projecting questions so apologies.

[Pumped]

It is for me. I do not plan on ever going out in public, plus my wife finds my dressing a bit funny sometimes with the combination I put together.

The other day I was in the kitchen visiting with my wife while she was making dinner and she looked me over. I forget what she said, but she was not in favor of my combination of high heels, black thigh highs, bright red garter belt, denim short-shorts and tank top. The garter belt stuck out above and bellow the shorts. I probably looked like I was headed out for a Halloween party, but I did not care, it was what I wanted to wear that evening.

My dressing does not have to make fashion sense, I just like having fun with it.

[Rayleen]

Dressing for myself is a hobby to unwind and I find it delightful.

also escape from reality and feel my inner feminine side.

Part of me needs to have this softer side too.

Rayleen

[CDJoyce]

I dress for myself and have no intention of going out in public.

[Sashauk]

Cathreen,
I never go out fully dressed although I often do so at home - albeit without make-up or a wig - so I suppose I dress for myself and not others.

Why? Well it is probably the feel of soft silky pretty underwear that I like most but I also enjoy the freedom that a skirt gives me. I realise that the majority of women could not be bothered with stockings and suspenders these days - too time consuming - but for me the feel of my stockings tugging at my suspenders as I move is wonderful and something I would never want to give up.

I must admit that there are some days when I don't feel the need to make an effort but even then it's always a bra and panties. Like others here wearing lingerie just makes me feel better inside.

[sugababe]

I dress for myself mostly. I love to get certain looks. I get acceptance when I go all out when going to an event

[Victoria_Winters]

Ok, so with me anyway, I don’t do much of anything for makeup. Getting dressed for me is just mostly a blouse/shirt bra and forms, and wig. I’ll wear a skirt or dress only on rare occasions. So it’s not much of a bother. Basicly about the same for getting dressed in drab. I never venture out of the house.

As far as why? I love the fashion! Most guy clothes are very boring. I dress for me... at least for now.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I dress for "escapisim"--to take a vacation from myself--if only for a few hours. It totally RELAXES me and all my stresses "unwind".

[Piora]

Agree with Marina. It is a wonderful stress-reliever. I dress in female clothing because I like how I look in the mirror. And I like how it makes me feel. I have not, do not nor will I ever go out in public. No one has ever seen me dressed except those in the forum.

[Alice B]

Both. First, what I wear has to appeal to me. Then I weant it to appea lto those that see me wearing it P:assing or not is not something that really matters, as Long as I look good in it to my mind.

[Sara.Blue]

Cathreen. No I have never considered it. Or at least not strongly. Dressing has never caused a negative event in my life, I have never had to decide between “This or That” or justify myself. My dressing is my own little personal thing I do. Up until last weekend when I made the first post here, I had never even stated on the Internet that I dress.

To clarify when I say “relationship” I am referring to when we are reasonably committed, not just randomly dating.

If I were 20 years old, I think it would be have been fair to say I had a “panty / lingerie” fetish. Now I think it is better stated that I have an attraction for the female body and stronger attraction for the things that make it feminine?

As for why I exchange my habits when Im not in a relationship? I dunno. I don’t watch a lot of porn even when single, Possibly to satisfy my desire for what I consider “sexy”?

No, I do not feel deprived or denied. However I tend to date people who dress nicer and are feminine. Now to be clear. I am not talking daily mini-skirts and trashy lingerie every day (although those are nice). I am referring to a women who frequently wear skirts, dresses and sexier undergarments. Women who have feminine mannerisms.

Yes, I would say me not dressing with a SO gives me the same level of pleasure. When I see her I see the attractive feminine clothing encompassing a woman that I have an attraction towards.

Now if I were to date a woman who frequently wore sweats, jeans, T-Shirt, blah cotton briefs and such all the time, I know I would feel like I am missing something. However that would not be the person I am attracted to.


I feel your questions are legit, its no problem


Sara

[Steph_CD_62]

I dress for myself. I know I could never pass. I don't wear make-up or a wig.

I just love the feel of wearing women's clothing, plus there is a bigger selection of choices. Women's clothing has more colors, fabrics and styles to choose from, and they are also a lot softer and more comfortable.

[Alyssa Lane]

I have found basically most GG’s are either a girly girl, or more of its too much of a hassle so its any shirt and jeans. Some even with females it seems to be a self confidence thing. Ones who need it, and others that have it and like to show it off seem to put forth the effort to looks beautiful.
As for me, I have kind of gone out, but always just blended in the best I can as a guy, but with feminine features or details. Not really sure if anyone notices, but the ladies will not always come right out and say anything directly as being professional in the shopping stores. It sure makes me think what might go through there head or if they actually don’t notice things like leggings or ladies jeans I might blend in with.

[Judy-Somthing]

I'm not sure why I dress, I started at five after my sister dressed me in a Ballerina outfit and I loved it!
I sometimes think I'm glad I'm not a girl, seems like most guys expect allot out of girls.

I've always been much more attracted to girls who wore dresses and some makeup.
When a girl dressed like a boy I had no interest! No arousal at all!