A member pm'd me to ask what is going on with my beard. I brought the discussion here, since understanding each other is central to fulfilling our mission of safety and inclusivity.
The purpose of this post is to invite members to weigh in on how they feel about and deal with their beards- or potential beards!
I have never shaved my beard. Well, actually I did, once, the first time a few hairs appeared. I was so happy to lather up and shave like dad! Then a few days later, I couldn't believe that there they were again! I decided I wasn't going to fight with my biology every day.
The role of beards in society has shifted many times since then, and, like the weather, I just let it all pass by. But I have been curious at how occasionally people have been very intense about my beard. Once I had a small group of people insist that I was hiding behind my beard. I couldn't figure out what they thought I was hiding, but it was important to them. There were the years where beards were considered badges of being unkempt, even if trimmed, and uncooperative with social norms. There were periods where beards were style statements for men and embraced in the fashion press.
On this Forum, I have found that my beard is a lightning rod for all sorts of really strong feelings, mostly negative and very freely expressed.
I am sympathetic. Beards and noticeable breasts are the clearly visible body character that distinguishes male and female, and that distinction underlies so much distribution of privilege in our society.
You simply cannot wear a dress and have a beard- right? At least, you can't expect anyone to take you seriously. I look in the mirror when I dress and love what I see, but my eyes pause on the beard, and... hey I have to make this work or I am going to have to shave, and spend hours fooling around with makeup while the little hairs start popping through.... I found it actually easier to expand my view and realize that people with beards can wear dresses and be feminine, if I let them.
Granted, it is a minority interest. The majority understandably like the Miss America version of crossdressing, where the competition is to achieve a particular accepted look, and I know I am essentially the ugly girl who could never compete, so I want to have an 'everyone wins' club instead.
I browsed the internet for men with beards in dresses, and it didn't take long to see that I had brothers with beards who loved wearing dresses, and there were women who loved wearing dresses, too but were suffering from having beards, mustaches, and hair in places that custom dictated that ideal women didn't have hair.
There is a lot of suffering over hair, and I say let's drop the attachments to our arbitrary values on this and let people wear dresses however they look!