Beards- sex symbol, or wearisome inconvenience?

[Sashauk]

Phili,
I crossdressed for years with a beard and was perfectly happy with my look but I don't go out dressed so it was only my opinion. Personally I think that it is entirely up to the individual as to whether or not they have a beard and crossdress - I congratulate you for having the courage to go out like that.

Also I don't agree that crossdressing is all about leaving your maleness behind. For me it is just that I love to wear pretty soft colourful things - the tugging of suspenders, the hug of the bra and the swish of the skirt are what do it for me. I know that a lot love to be seen as, and feel like, a complete woman - and there are some stunning examples of that here - but I'm not that, I'm just a man in lingerie and a dress.

As for shaving being a chore - I always felt it was but since shaving my beard off the other day I really do like my look so much better. I suppose being retired helps as I don't have any pressure on me to get out the door in the morning - I can take my time. I'm a little tender, which is only to be expected after 30 years of not shaving, but I'm sure that will go in a few days, and I'm using L'Oreal Hydra Genius Liquid Moisturiser mornings and nights to look after the skin.

[GeorgeA]

As a dedicated miad, I proudly sport my moustache and goatee. I am a man, I do not impersonate a woman. I dress for comfort and utility. I live my life as a man in skirts and lingerie. That is my normal attire, that's how I spend most of my time. When required to present as a man I underdress. I simply exchange my skirt for trousers. I have no feminine traits, no pink fog, I am a man who likes to dress differently than most other men (CDs excepted).

I can appreciate that for those of you who emulate women facial hair is a burden, but not for me. Of course, I don't go out, as our society is not yet ready to accept a bearded man in a skirt.

P.S. I find it reassuring that so many of posters here, share my miad philosophy to various degrees.

[Shayna]

In the past I had varying degrees of facial hair (beard, goatee, patch, mustache). I think I kept them at times because the appearance helped keep me from dressing. Eventually I shaved it off and kept it off because the feeling came back too strong, plus it was graying and at the time I had a goatee and was starting to look like Col. Sanders.

[Ceera]

I spent most of my life as a male wearing a full beard. Grew one right after high school, and always kept it neatly trimmed. I would have had a beard in high school, but my employers at the time either didn't allow full beards, or discouraged them. My wife hated it the few times I shaved my beard off, mostly because I was already six years younger then she was, and my face looked so much younger without the beard that she thought people would think she was 'robbing the cradle'! And one time when I shaved it off, our young (grade school aged) daughter hardly recognized me, and said she didn't like seeing her daddy without his beard.

When I first started to consider cross dressing, the beard seemed like a barrier for me. Being a man in a dress it didn't work for my mindset, as being seen as a 'man in a dress' didn't satisfy the feminine voices in my mind which wanted to express my female side. I found I simply didn't want to go out dressed if I couldn't at least try to 'pass', and yet I had no excuse to give my wife for wanting to shave it off. But if being a 'man in a dress' makes you happy, that is great, for you, or for anyone who likes to do that. I will not speak against you for doing so. In fact, a MIAD bothers me much less than a cisgender male who is presenting female, and doing reasonably well at it, but who is at the same time not bothering to try to feminize their voice.

After my parents and my wife died, at age 56 I came out to my daughter and tried cross-dressing in public. My beard got shaved off, both to make me 'passable', and because the shock of three major loved ones dying in less than three years turned my beard mostly white, and made me look like I was my daughter's grandfather, not her father. I looked decidedly older than I was. But without the beard, and with feminine makeup, I found that I can pass for a cisgender woman in my 30's to 40's, and some people even seriously think I am only in my late 20's! It was like jumping in the fountain of youth, for me.

I identify as Transgender now, and I'll probably get my legal gender identity changed to female in the next year or two. So to me, my beard is now strictly a nuisance. I need to shave twice a day while presenting female, and I am spending 90% or more of my social time as a woman, so I end up shaving a lot! I am hoping to start getting HRT and electrolysis soon, to eliminate the beard and other body hair as much as I can, for a more female appearance.

[Teresa]

Ceera,
That is an unusual comparison, to compare a MIAD with a full CDer who doesn't soften their voice.

None of my social group change their voice even TSs even after hormones the male tone is still apparent , I don't have a problem with my voice when out and about but I would have a problem to go out as a MIAD . I spoke to a lecture theatre full of delegates dressed a few weeks ago and was very well accepted . It's almost impossible to retain a false voice after a few minutes , it will possibly raise more eyebrows and comments than not trying to attempt it .

[Vickie_CDTV]

Maybe it is a generational or family thing. When I was growing up (1980s-early 90s) beards were considered "dirty", and it was assumed I would shave it and never let it grow. My father was obsessive about shaving and never went a day without. My skin didn't allow me to shave daily though, but I have never gone more than a few days without shaving my face. Maybe I get my unwanted hair obsession from him.

[Asew]

Most of my life I have shave most days. But since I use the same electric razor all these years and only ever replaced the shaver head once, it leaves an even amount of stuble instead of a clean shave. The last few years, in the warm months I shave daily and in the cold months I trim weekly. I can't stand to grow out my beard as it feels weird when I can see it in my peripheral vision and it tickles my nose. My wife doesn't like facial hair so she always supports me shaving more often

As for crossdressing it doesn't bother me, since that hair is just a part of me. Just like my leg hair peeking out under my skirts which I have no desire to shave. I have heard several comments about my leg hair and women's clothes and none about facial hair.

I definitely understand the feeling about how it can add that bit of masculinity to make it easier on the wife. When I told my wife about my dressing, I did grow my facial hair out a bit to have that masculinity still there but she preferred me to shave anyways.

[JeanTG]

I tried having a beard twice in my life. Enough to know that they are not for me. I hate facial hair. As a lesbian they do nothing for me sexually. I am also moderately transgendered and now life part of my life as a woman at the suggestion of my therapist (alas, DADT, but I'm alone at home 3x per week and I've started going out when I need to do errands, etc.).

On days I don't dress, I am lazy and use an electric razor, but on days I dress I use a razor in the shower to get a really close shave. My therapist suggested I go for laser hair removal, but I fear I may get some push-back. I got lots of it when I started shaving my body, but persisted anyway.

To each their own but a beard with a dress is very incongruous to me.

[Cheryl T]

Beards are ok on guys, but for me it's just a very inconvenient and annoying fact of biology.
I wish I had taken the time to have it removed years ago.

[WendyG]

I have been crossdressing since I was a kid. I recall discussing what causes a "stiiffy" with my cousin when I was about 10. I said thinking about wearing panties would do it. It worked for me but apparently nothing for my cousin. When I went to college in the late 60's I grew a beard and long hair. I think the reason for the beard was twofold. I was a bit of a hippie but also it made me feel like no one could possibly suspect I was CD. then I got married and had kids. I have occasionally shaved it off but always let it return. Wife liked it on and the first time my 5 yr old son saw me shaved he cried and said "shave it on". Years gone by and now I am divorced and living alone for the last 20 or so years and am now retired for two years. I dress almost every day but I still am bearded and closeted although I have not cut my hair since I retired. (kind of back to hippie). When I am in male mode, I like the beard. When In female mode I wish I didn't have the beard but if I don't look in the mirror, the me that I see when dressed is female and my hair is shoulder length and make me feel feminine when it brushes my neck. So I am pretty good with that. My pic is me a year ago when my hair was shorter and I had shaved. I have been thinking about shaving again and finding some place to go out. Tired of being stuck at home when dressed.

[mdavis]

I've got a love/hate relationship with my facial hair at the moment and my desire to dress more and the deepening urge to "go out" is at the heart of it.
When I have a beard (I've had a full one but my usual look has typically been a goatee and mustache) I look in the mirror and like it. I like the look on me. I use to have no problem dressing when I had facial hair. I can't really explain it but as I've kind of "progressed" in my dressing I don't feel right dressing with my beard. I'm not at the point where I do full makeup like others (working on dipping my toes in those waters and experimenting) but, when I dress I feel the need now to be clean shaven.
It's actually presented a bit of a conundrum for me. My wife likes my facial hair. She.....well.....I THINK.....she knows I dress (or have) (short version-a few years ago she found some of my Michelle clothes-asked who's they were-suspecting I was cheating-and I told her they were mine and that I crossdressed. The conversation never went any farther and hasn't resurfaced since) Anyway, I have no idea if she suspects I shave because I'm dressing or if she's ok with my excuse that I like to change things up now and then and have a love/hate relationship with my facial hair.

[phili]

I give this a lot of thought since my beard is a permanent fixture, and I am very visually oriented as a designer.

Beauty/threat/male or masculine badge/throwback to ice age living? It is definitely in the eye of the beholder, the many layers of meaning for beards arising from people's interactions with them at a distance, up close, with media images, in conversation.


Just visually, I notice that if my hair is combed to one side in a typical masculine haircut style, the beard is more noticeable as a part of that familiar image. My eyes go across the top- ok- man, then down and evaluate the mustache and beard trim for its qualifiers- full but trimmed- symbolic of proud manhood, not sloppy, not quite assertive, controlled but not picky, etc.


When my hair is more like evenly curled [think Greek statues] my beard is subsidiary, the base of a vase shape, and not obtrusive. Creating some small space between mustache and beard, and a lilt to the upper trim line of the beard made a huge difference in overall youthfulness, despite the gray. Then, whatever I am wearing, the focus is then on my eyes.


I said elsewhere I would be quite glad not to have the beard if it were magically easy- and that is because it requires a lot of management not to interfere with conveying my femininity. But overall I don't feel it is a big problem - it feels to me that women understand that males have more facial hair and just expect me to do something nie with it, like they do with whatever they are born with. Men are busy being upset at their Pavlovian attraction to our cute dresses conflicting with the 'stay-away,it's a man' message of our beards, and as society now frowns on them beating us up to prove they aren't attracted, I don't worry.

[robbieatbest]

I have a goatee at the moment. I will shave it off when I want to be in public and want to look like a woman. My wife really likes my beard and it doesn't stop me dressing. However I do like to wear make up and look as female as possible. Shaving does play havoc with the skin though and so a rest is maybe good for it. I can't see myself going for electrolysis or laser treatment, pain and expense appear too much.
Robbie