So early in my time of deciding to transition I was very diligent about confronting anti trans talk or joking. It still irritates me when I see the occasional Caitlyn Jenner meme poking fun at her and I hate the words tranny or ladyboy. I had an epiphany thouhhh. The last time I was out en femme I picked up a pizza for take out. The young man at the counter had to hide his smirk. And the guys from the back crowded the window to watch me walk to my car. It pissed me off. I know why they did it but it sucks. And I don’t deserve it. I thought to myself I would call the manager the next day and make a stink about it. The night passed and I was busy the next day. When the time came I could have called and brought it back up I decided not to. At least for me I needed to decide how much of my life I want to devote to fighting. As long as i live I will advocate transgender rights. I will educate and inform. I will tell people who are malicious and dangerous to piss off. But I decided that ignorant idiots that don’t directly impede me or other trans people aren’t worth it to me. I don’t want a victory. I don’t want to win the world for trans people. I just want a normal life. I had to work to not feel ashamed of that decision. I’m glad that I arrived at feeling at peace about it. So people can stare and snicker and watch me keep walking without caring at all. Maybe they’ll get bored and give it up. But either way I’m saving my strength for the active devils out there that attack trans people or try to deny legal rights to us. You may have different convictions but this was a break through for me.
