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Thread: Needing yall's opinion

  1. #1
    Junior Member Mandy T's Avatar
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    Needing yall's opinion

    So of late I have felt pretty good about my craft. My wife said "Lets have a girls trip. Take Mandy out for a weekend". Sure I said with confidence. Now four days until time to depart and I am getting cold feet. I don't think I can pull this off. I don't think I can pass, and I don't want to fail and embarrasses my wife. This will be her first outing with Mandy. so I dressed today to see what I look like and I am just not sure.
    Please be honest and tell me what yall think.

    MandyPicture 44.jpg

  2. #2
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    If your wife thinks you're ready, trust her. Cold feet are natural before a first at anything. Just go. If it makes you feel better, put a "guy capsule" of clothes in the trunk in case you need to bail. But don't take it out of the trunk. When you get back you'll be thrilled. You look fine. Your wife will be your wing man/person/babe and protect you from mis-steps due to pink fog closing in. And don't fear failure -- failure teaches you what you need to improve on. If this is your first time out, you're unlikely to be perfect. But you'll be better next time.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  3. #3
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I felt the same way when my wife and I started venturing out. I surely did not want to embarrass her.
    Then I realized one thing, most of us will never pass. The other thing I realized is that it's not about passing, it's about blending and acceptance. I'm too tall, too this, too that and I know it. I might fool some of the people some of the time, but it's not about that. For me it's about being me, being the best me I can be and about not trying to fool people. In that way I've found that most accept me as I am and that has made me more comfortable in public.
    I'm as tall as Brooke Shields but I'll never look like her, and that's fine. I'd rather look like me and be me, just me.

    Just be you and be the best you you can be and you will be fine.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  4. #4
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    A relaxed mental attitude is going to be key for you, with a slight touch of a '**** it' attitude!

    Even if you're read, if you're relaxed, having fun, acting normal, most people just won't care and will go about their day.

    I know that on the occasions I venture out into the wild outdoors that I'm pretty much guaranteed to be read, but stay relaxed and act like this is normal - thus making it normal!

    Have fun, and don't go so deep into the fog that you forget about your wife!

    --Lisa--

  5. #5
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    Mandy,
    Can you give us more details of where you wife is planning the outing , if it's a secluded spot then give it a go , OK if you have a problem maybe take some drab clothes as a backup . Who knows you probably won't need them .

    I went through this , the " What ifs and Buts !" but they have never happened . OK the passing question , no none of us pass so you can forget that one ,there is always a tell tale sign , you have to accept you are a TG male that has a need to dress , just be comfortable with that and the rest will just flow . I still can't believe how easy it has been and I've had to do it alone you are very lucky to have the support .

    It's hard to give an opinion from the picture , if it was full length but again it depends where you will be wearing that outfit, that's the learning curve , the right outfit for the right occasion , I assume that the idea is to blend with your wife , so she will give some pointers .

    Try not to chicken out , I'm sure you won't regret it , please remember we all mistakes as indeed GGs do , if it all goes well you'll be thinking of the next outing before you get back .

  6. #6
    Junior Member Mandy T's Avatar
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    We want to go to the casino in north MS. Stay the weekend. I say that like I can back out. The reservations have been made. Plans include dinner and a day by the pool. Arriving on Friday afternoon and checking out Sunday afternoon. I sure we will make our way to the slot machines to play a little.

    Mandy

    Mandy 4.jpg

    Edited to add full length picture
    Last edited by Mandy T; 06-12-2018 at 11:06 AM.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    Certainly go!

    Specific opinions?

    Wear loose fitting long tops and skinny jeans or leggings. Look for clothes that create a vertical line. vertical patterns, V-necks, long necklaces. I think big earrings help, particularly if they have some length like your hoops. Black does wonders. Unless you feel like you just have to wear heels, wear sandals or even nice flip flops. Carry a large purse, and don't be afraid to make it eye catching. Long nails slenderize your hands. Press-ons or other fake nails you can buy from Walmart are fine for a short time. If you wear your own nails, get a mani-pedi. Besides cuticles and shaping, a pro can get your nail polish perfect, which is very difficult to do at home. Modest boobs! It'd be best to have your makeup done at a makeup counter. At the very least, be very careful about matching foundation and keep your makeup understated, particularly in the daytime. You can play more at night.

    I don't know how much you've been out on your own, but be aware that going out with your wife will be a completely different experience. For me, the first time I want out with my gf I felt very awkward. This coming from somebody who had been out frequently for decades solo. I don't know how comfortable you are with your wife seeing you totally in girl mode. You may have to fight off the tendency to revert back to your male walk, gestures, voice inflection, etc.. I'm comfortable in public as a woman, but when I was with her I had to fight the feeling that being what would have been being comfortably and naturally feminine felt fake, and I was a little hesitant to be THAT feminine. Hard to describe. You'll know it when it hits you.

    I assume you'll be doing the age-old cd pastime, shopping. So shop like a woman! Don't stand off to the side while she looks a purses or dresses! Look, examine, compare. Put that purse over your shoulder and go to the mirror. Hold that dress up to see where it falls. If they offer to start you a dressing room, do it! I think it's safe to say that if your wife invites this, she's into it enough that she wants to go with you as a woman, not as her husband in women's clothes. Don't be embarrassed to take on your whole feminine persona.

    Most of all, have a great time and treat your wife like a queen!

  8. #8
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'm skipping the "passing" comments. Just go out with confidence and you'll be fine.
    And, there's likely to be much less eye raising, chuckles, or rude comments if u r with your wife!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 06-13-2018 at 11:04 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
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    If you act nervous you'll attract more attention than if you display poise. If your wife wants you to go out en femme trust her. I always counsel people to stay within his or her comfort zone. There is nothing etched in granite that says you have to be en femme 24/7 for the entire weekend. Use good judgement and consider your surroundings. Dining en femme at a adults only place may be easier than wearing a bikini at pool side with a lot of kids around.

  10. #10
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    I'm from Mississippi. The casinos in North Mississippi seem to have a lot of farmers, country boys. Down in Biloxi it is very much more LGBT friendly. Several LGBT bars with drag shows on some Saturdays. Been dressed both. up north and down south. The south is very much more tolerant and accepting. Just my thoughts. Hope yall have a good time.

  11. #11
    Silver Member
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    Your wife wants to participate and you have cold feet. What do I think? I think you need to see a therapist. Your crazy to not take advantage of the opportunity.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    My 2 cents is you're thinking about it too hard. Seems like you have a plan and seems like a pretty good one to me! Just do as they are all saying here...go have fun...no worries!

  13. #13
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    Every new experience comes with a bit of stage fright. Most of us made our first outings alone, and many of us without the support of a partner...sometimes even with the knowledge that being caught might have catastrophic consequences. You're in the perfect situation to take those first steps out and you have an experienced guide. Take that deep breath and step out into the sun! It will feel good, better still with your wife by your side.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  14. #14
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Mandy,

    Forget passing, that's not what counts. Very few of us come close to passing 100%. We're all however somewhere along a scale. Appropriate clothing for the time and place, poise, showing confidence, not being afraid to make eye contact at the appropriate time, converse naturally if engaged in conversation. All these things add up to make for success in getting out and about. Blending in is way way more important. Looking and acting like you belong there.

    You will be very nervous when you first step out the hotel room door. You will be panicking about someone seeing you, which they quickly will. Nothing will happen. You'll pass like ships in the night. After a few minutes you'll realise no-one cares. You start to act more relaxed, the more you blend, the more you relax. Soon it'll all feel very normal and natural.

    Don't miss out on this opportunity. Have faith in your SO. All will be well.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  15. #15
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    ENJOY your wife and her acceptance of your femininity ! Let her be in charge of your well being..The aura that a couple in synch gives off is bulletproof... Leave your "maleness" at home.

  16. #16
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    For gosh sakes- tell her how you feel and have her walk you through her version of it, as she has her reasons and dreams, and you need to know them anyway!

    Practice together at home, let this be the big thing it is for the two of you. She is feeling secure and expansive- maybe she is going to tell you she got a raise and her boss said something nice about TG men!

    and set up a secret sign language so if you are panicking she can say- nope we're ok or ok, let's bail with heads held high.
    We are all beautiful...!

  17. #17
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Good advice provided by others here. I hope you enjoy your trip with your wonderful wife. Have fun and enjoy your enfemme time with your wife.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  18. #18
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Your wife should be the best person to know if your ready and she is giving you the confidence to go for it. Have fun and of course would love to hear how it went, and pictures please.

  19. #19
    Member Sashauk's Avatar
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    Personally I think that if your wife thought you were going to embarrass her she would never have suggested the trip in the first place. Trust her judgement and I'm sure you will be fine.
    Sasha

  20. #20
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Im sure you will be fine.Your wife wouldn't have suggested this if there was even the slightest doubt in her mind that everything will go well.And also you look great,get out and about with your good lady and most of all have fun.Personally speaking some of my best times being out have been spent alongside my wife

    Sophie
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  21. #21
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Passing - we are here to enjoy life, not worry about what others think.
    It's about getting in the mood "getting your girl on", smile and the rest of the world will smile with you.
    If you lived down here, I'd probably try to join your girls trip.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  22. #22
    Junior Member Nell27's Avatar
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    I concur with the advice others are offering here, to have fun, be yourself and cherish the time with your wife. In addition, you look fabulous!

  23. #23
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    You look great. Go have fun with your wife.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    I would follow your wife's advice, she is going to be with you. Passing is largely irrelevant IMO, its about blending in, sending out enough female markers so that most people who glance at you see a woman. If someone thinks your a guy so what?
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  25. #25
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Don't, can't, won't and no are all negative terms.

    Warm up dem cold feet and do as your wife says, GET OUT THERE.

    Try it you may like it. :-)

    I just read more....

    Back out...

    That's a good idea and I agree.....





    Back out of your driveway and get going.












    NOW!
    Last edited by Beverley Sims; 06-15-2018 at 02:13 AM.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

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