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Thread: No comparison.

  1. #1
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    No comparison.

    During the day Friday my wife called me and told me on her way to work a few people got her attention and told her that the passenger side brake light was out. One thing about a women is they are power houses, tireless work, great mothers, wifes and always put there families ahead of themselves, but sometimes they freak me out.
    On my way home from work I picked up a bulb and when I got home I started changing the light and my wife came outside to see what I was doing and when she seen me changing the bulb she gave me a "Oh". Being married 30 plus years I know what "Oh" means, trouble.
    I went inside and asked what was with the "Oh", she said it's amazing how fast I do something when it advantages Maria. I told her I didn't see the connection between a bulb and my dressing, she said I changed the bulb because whenever I go for drives I take her car and I may get pulled over by police or better chance of getting into an accident.
    I told her I truly didn't have that on my mind when I changed the bulb , and thought about her safety instead.
    I don't know what gets into them, almost like a form of jealously or something like that every once in a while. Anybody else's wife ever use there dressing to tell us that we do things faster or better for our fem side.

  2. #2
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    My wifey once told me I put more effort into dressing and makeup etc. In a way, she was right. And I couldn't argue. It's a lot of work to look pretty.

  3. #3
    Senior Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    In our house I suggested aluminum mini venetian blinds for the Kitchen window because I thought they would be a stylish look but my wife said you want them so our nosey neighbour can't see Danielle wandering around. In my head I did think of that as a side benefit but it wasn't the main reason for my suggestion. On a positive note it did turn out my wife really liked the new blinds.

  4. #4
    Eclectic Woman nelliebell's Avatar
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    Howdy

    I'm not a wife but I thought I can lend my opinion as a woman.

    I agree with the jealousy assumption; some women get jealous and say mean things. But I don't think that's very constructive or necessary.

    Say your wife got a new, edgy haircut. And you, the husband, said the same things that your wife said to you. "You only do things faster because you want to show your edgy hair." It may be true, but it's not very necessary to say. Why not take pride in how happy your wife looks with her edgy hair (or what not take proud in how happy your husband looks in CD?)? Or even join them? If your wife gets an edgy haircut, maybe you can do something a little edgy too. Now you both are edgy and happy.

    Maybe I am just too young but I do feel like slay comments such as those are very unnecessary and add no benefit whatsoever.

    (If I stepped on any shoes or crossed any boundaries, please let me know kindly. I will apologize and take my post down. I only want to add a different perspective.)

    Cheers!
    Nelliebellie

  5. #5
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    "Oh" yes, my wife knows I love an any excuse to dress pretty
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I am constantly reminded that I do things to advantage me.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Oh yeh thanks for reminding me Danielle, my wife wants me to install a window insert on our front door. I would agree that it would bring great light into our entrance, but you can see through those and even if I buy a triple pain glass that is hard to see through you can still see shadows. I only don't want it because if myself or the kids don't want to answer the door we don't have to, but with that window they will know someone's home. Well my wife insists I don't want it because of Maria.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
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    Add the window insert and let the light shine in!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #9
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Maybe she deep down really doesn't like your dressing. My wife went from a helpful excited to help me dress to DADT type after years of helping. I might have been acting more e cited about the dressing than her and I can see why she did. Maria you maybe in the same place as I got to. I do think wives can get jealous of other females if the SO is paying more attention to another GG than them. Maybe you were paying more attention to your dressing and she said what she said because of that.
    I would not want a window by the door either that could definitely let the neighbors see someone is at the house. She should have been happy that you changed the bulb for her. Safety as well.

  10. #10
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    Ya I have got the, Im angry about your dressing and thats why you did that, or you didn’t get anything done today because you were playing dress up.....




    Pretty in Pink

  11. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Maybe not consciously, but, subconsciously you pounced on replacing the defective bulb. Whenever I go for a "Stephanie" drive I always check all the lights before venturing out. I really want to minimize any chance encounters with law officers.

    As to not getting anything done around the house because I am "playing dress up," I get all the domestic chores done in my wife's absence; laundry, ironing, change bed linens, baking, meal preparation, vacuuming. Of course, they are all done while in a pretty dress, hosiery and heels and all the proper undergarments and my shoulder length grey wig.

  12. #12
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I give them a little slack. I understand. When women enter relationships, it's generally looking towards the long term. And, once past a certain age, most don't see the possibility of it (guys going nuts over them) happening again. So it breeds a bit of insecurity, and anything that they see which is not directly about them, means it's about something or someone else that is taking attention away from them, and so they feel it's a threat to their relationship with us. As women define their lives through their relationships, rather than activities or outside achievements, anything that upsets the dynamics (you know, like finding out her husband is a crossdresser!) will get her upset. Just give it time, and reinforce that you still love her, an help her get over her insecurities.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  13. #13
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    I've got a few years on you when it comes to being married, Maria, and even I haven't been able to predict when and how I'm going to be blindsided by some snarky comment from my wife about my crossdressing even though - in theory - we are in a DADT relationship. It's amazing how women can take a simple comment or action on our part and attach all kinds of hidden meanings (usually negative) to them. Sometimes I think that they are the quintessential conspiracy theorists - LOL!, although their version of this is usually something along the lines of simply having "women's intuition" or a "sixth sense".

    One of the fathers of psychiatry - Sigmund Freud - once advanced the view that in many ways...despite being a good smoke...cigars were the ultimate phallic symbol and represented all kinds of subconscious hidden meanings. Being an avid cigar smoker himself, he was once called out on this observation and how that might also reflect on him personally. His deeply introspective answer (NOT!) was "Well, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." So see, it happens to the best of us .

    In my case, my wife specializes in the NCIS-style 3rd degree questioning, or as I prefer to call it, "cross-examining" me as opposed to simply asking a non-confrontational question and then being satisfied with the answer. Here's an example:

    I've been removing my body hair for years now using an epilator, and I usually do that when my wife is out of the house so as not to be subjected to any unnecessary (and unwelcome) prying questions. She knows, doesn't like it, has gotten used to it (sort of), and it is something we do not, as a rule, talk about.

    The other day, I realized that I was getting rather "shaggy", and due for another deforestation session. As my wife hadn't been out of the house much lately, my only other option was to try to do this on the Q.T., so I chose to do it one evening after supper when I knew that she would be glued to the downstairs T.V. watching one of her favourite mystery/crime shows and unlikely to come looking for me.

    Well, Murphy's Law being what it is, no sooner was I standing in the bathtub and starting the eplation process when I heard an urgent knocking on the bathroom door saying that my son was on the phone with an important, time-sensitive question. I told her that I couldn't come to the phone right now, and to tell him that I would call him back as soon as I could. At that point, the interrogation began:

    "XXXX" says it's reallly important. Can I put you on speakerphone?" (This, through a closed bathroom door, with the epilator that we're already struggling to talk over whirring loudly in the background. Seriously????)

    "If it's that important, have him text me so that I can get a "heads up" as to what it is all about, and I'll call him back as soon as I can."

    "Why can't you talk to him now?"

    "I'm shaving." (I typically use an electric shaver)

    "So why can't you come to the door?"

    "Because I'm standing in the bathtub."

    "You're shaving in the bathtub???"

    "Yes."

    "What's that funny sound? Is there something wrong with the pipes?" (It's the epilator, a sound she is not used to, and different from my regular shaver)

    "No, the pipes are fine. It's just my shaver" (I'm still not admitting at this point that I am epilating my body, but my wife realizes by now that something is up, although she can't quite put her finger on it. Thankfully she leaves at that point, takes a message from my son, and walks away with the "live" house phone. Sheesh!)

    Needless to say, this whole episode has left me thoroughly p*ssed, but at the same time, it leaves me more determined than ever to finish the job and let the chips fall where they may - and they will.

    A few days later, my wife casually mentions that I seem to have shaved my chest, arms, and legs again lately, so yes, apparently she finally did connect the dots. I shrug, but don't respond to the bait. I'm not about to get sucked into a fight over this yet again. I take my cue from the "My body, my choice" slogan of the pro-abortion feminists which they typically proclaim in staking out their perceived rights regarding that particular issue.

    This Saturday, as I come downstairs after showering, shaving (face only this time - LOL!) and with fresh (men's) clothes on, my wife gives me The Look and says sarcastically "Sooo...all smoothly shaved and nicely attired. Planning to go the The Bay (iconic Canadian department store) to buy some more dresses?"

    "Sure", I reply equally sarcastically "What better weekend to score a deal on women's clothing than when the department stores are falling all over themselves with ads promoting sales of men's clothing and accessories, this being Father's Day weekend."

    And so it goes...the manipulation and the unrelenting, passive-resistive efforts to guilt us out over our crossdressing. I feel your pain, Maria, although in your case, at least your wife appears to be generally on board with your crossdressing and, in fact, seems to be quite supportive (and even encouraging of it) on the whole.
    Last edited by Leslie Langford; 06-17-2018 at 10:05 PM.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Maria, she asked you to take care of something and you did. I don't see a down side.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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