Doesn't want to know, I think

[Maria 60]

Went for a Sunday night drive, on my way back I picked up ice cream for me and my wife. We sat out back eating when my wife said she doesn't want to know what I do on my drives but hopes I act presentable. She sad she's not totally happy that I go for my drives because our kids and family doesn't know about my dressing and doesn't want them to find out by me doing something foolish and caught on a cell phone photo. But doesn't want me to stop because she feels it's like therapy to me, when I come back I'm a different person, more happy, focused and maybe the alone time escaping my male self and expressing my fem side does me good.
Even though she says she doesn't want to know she starts telling what she hopes I'm not doing. She said if I crave to get out of the car not to do it in a empty parking lot or in a dark area of a park and not look like a freak hiding in dark corners and to do it with people around and act normal. When I drive with her and I'm dressed I do like to lift the hem line and show some leg, after all it's my only strong famine feature. And with that she told me she hopes I'm not driving showing to much and risk attracting the wrong type of crowd. She knows I get out to put gas in which she's OK with because she hates putting gas in her car but doesn't know what else I do, I believe she thinks I meet up with people or something because she doesn't believe i drive around for hours and just drive, I was going to tell her what I do but she insisted she really thought it was better that she didn't know. I told her my best therapy is having these conversations and hearing what she doesn't want from my fem side and happy that she cares that I present appropriate and not put myself in danger. I thought she gave me great advice and even though they don't want to know they still care. Cheers to women.

[Lana Mae]

Here, here! Cheers to women! Hugs Lana Mae

[Beverley Sims]

just remember to consider your wife'sfeelings and help her as much as you can.

Marriage is a two way street.

Things will improve one day.

[Stephanie47]

Your wife is living in your secret. She is a part of it. Of course, she is exhibiting concern for your safety. Physical safety. Also, emotional safety. She is exhibiting the normal angst associated with the potential negativity that may occur if you are 'outed' to your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, church, et al.

She knows you go to fill up the gas tanks. She may not want to know what else you do on your adventures because it would increase her uneasiness. It does not necessarily mean she thinks there are issues related to marital bonds and commitments. You should ask her if she would object to you joining a support group. If all you are doing is going for a long drive and that's it, then have her record the odometer readings or get a camera for the windshield. Heck, she could even track you on your cell phone if she was really suspicious. Or, maybe she is figuring ignorance is bliss.

[DaisyLawrence]

I'm assuming that you are not actually doing anything that she would disapprove of so on that basis I think she should know the full details, even if she says she doesn't want to. It is probably more the case that she doesn't want to sound as if she is suspicious of you doing anything dubious for fear of apparantly not trusting you. If you are completely honest you will put her mind at rest. You have to admit that just driving around for hours at a time but going nowhere sounds a bit odd, like a really odd way to convert your money into pointless CO2 emissions.

[Majella St Gerard]

she sounds a little controlling and I think she more worried about her embarrassment if your secret gets out.

[alwayshave]

Maria, whether her fears are rational or not, she is worried about your safety, which is a good thing....

[char GG]

Of course she is concerned for your safety and sharing tips that GG’s adhere to when they go out. My husband said that he was oblivious to the safety concerns that GG’s are subjected to until he started going out dressed. Not actually knowing your wife, I doubt she is trying to be controlling but is being street smart.

I read on this forum many times where some CDer has ventured into a situation that I, as a GG, would have been uncomfortable in.

[Rayleen]

Beverly is right, its a two way street as long as you're in a partnership. I would sit down and listen what's on her mind.


You might be surprise.

[Jennifer2918]

Maria,

Consider yourself very lucky to have a wife that will at least go with you while you are dressed. Mine wants no part of it.

With that, she knows I go out one night a week, very late at night / early in the morning, dressed. I have told her that I like to stop at a 24 hours pastry (donut) shop for a treat and also at a 24 hour convenience store (7-11) for a drink (soda) while out dressed. I'm not trying to hide anything and would greatly enjoy her coming with me on these late night drives, but she has no interest.

All I can say is be safe and enjoy.