A current post by Maria made me search for same. This link has a lot of good info.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/...n_7072080.html
If you Google my post title, you will find it and MORE!
A current post by Maria made me search for same. This link has a lot of good info.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/...n_7072080.html
If you Google my post title, you will find it and MORE!
Number 30 on the list is a buzzkill! Seriously, that’s very good advice
Many of the suggestions were to how to avoid a problem once recognized. That's called "situational awareness." Again, how do you know what to look for? Training! Take a "self defense course."
You see I have a recurrent theme.
Yes, I've taken training and practiced. No I don't consider myself current in all aspects of my training but I do use the situational awareness technics I was taught almost every time I go out.
Have I ever been out enfemme and felt threatened? YES! I was in a shopping mall in Atlanta in 2008 for SCC and had a man walking behind me with his girlfriend making derogatory comments in may direction. I continued walking while watching his reflection in the windows and prepared to defend myself. I refused to be a victim. He finally left without doing anything more.
Last edited by Raychel; 06-19-2018 at 04:46 PM. Reason: Discussion of weapons is not allowed on the forum
I have taken self defence training and highly encourage everyone to take it. It grieves me to think that we live in a world that needs to receive training for self protection.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
It's all sound advice, but I'm not shocked to see the Huffington Post still pushing the outdated notion that women are more at risk of random attacks. Despite, statistically, men being almost twice as likely to be victims (UK crime stats).
Men are probably attacked more BECAUSE they don't use these precautionary steps to help protect themselves. Having a super macho attitude can get you in trouble because you might get into situations thinking "I can take care of myself, it will never happen to me!"
Susi Q
I was in the Australian special forces (reserve) for over twenty years, qualified in unarmed combat, and did "quite a bit" of kickboxing. I don't consider myself to be a violent person (the last fight I was in was well over twenty years ago when I stepped in to break up a fight) but am prepared to commit violence in defence of myself and loved ones.
I looked at the Huff post article and can I just say: Of the "34 things women do", I do 21 of them!
Some of the things on that list are security "pet hates". One is the keys thing, where you put the keys in your fist as a faux knuckle duster. You're much better off learning how to punch properly. Another is the ear-bud one: No-one should ever run/walk/jog with ear-buds. The loss of situation awareness is incredible. We've had people wearing ear-buds get hit by cars and trains because they can't hear them coming and they're looking the wrong way.
Michelle
Men also get into fights more because they won't back down, or run. They watch so many movies that they convince themselves they can 'take' any guy. The old, 'I'll take that gun/knife/icepick and shove it up your butt' idea. Then they get themselves shot/cut/beaten up because of a poor understanding of just how rotten a fighter they really are. We also put ourselves in riskier situations. Look around at night; who's out working and walking around? Men. Do we always travel in pairs for safety? Absolutely not. See a person walking alone at night, 99.99% of the time it's a man, and he doesn't expect anyone to attack him. Now, knowing that the element of surprise it the single best advantage you can have over someone you're attacking, do you see why men are overwhelmingly the best targets?
Situational awareness. I've been doing it since I was a little kid, avoiding trouble not just in public, but at home as well. It's served me well.
And I agree with Michelle; keys between your fingers make a terrible weapon for a less strong fighter. Much better to have the use of your open hands. In fact, I cannot see any situation where having keys held between the fingers is a good option.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 06-20-2018 at 02:45 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
That is for women, we have to do the same and more if we are going to present ourselves at night and alone.
Just take care and be aware.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
None of these suggestions ever stopped Ted Bundy. I've heard much better suggestions from law enforcement people.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Isn't it sad that these are some measures which people must take when merely taking a walk!
I recently saddened me to hear my quite elderly Tai Chi, Qigong lady-teacher telling a group of ladies how some of the moves can be used defensively.
Sad when I practice this style for peace only!
Stacy!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
Care to share some of those better suggestions, or are we to wait until we get assaulted?Originally Posted by Ressie
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I must say that most of those suggestions are ones that I (edit--in male mode) used in when in NYC for an evening event. Fortunately, where home is now (nowhere near NYC), the likelihood of problems is virtually non-existent.
Last edited by Mary Lawrence; 06-20-2018 at 10:08 AM.
Safety is a huge consideration regardless of what gender you're presenting as.
Despite having a decade of unarmed combat training, I still carry 'combat multipliers' (pepper spray on up) around wherever possible regardless of what mode I'm in, and stay current in their use (and the local laws regarding their use). I hope to never have to use them, but they're there if needed.
Lisa
That may be so. However, my recollections of crime incidents is women seem to endure more rapes than men??? Everyone reading this post may want to pass on some of these suggestions to their wives, daughters and granddaughters.
Ladies, the comments are interesting. But, if you know of any ways to defend yourself, please share.
First of all, to me there's a difference between dangers for women vs crossdressers. IMO women are more likely to be sexually assaulted where violence against CDs is more likely to be a hate crime.
It was a long time ago that I saw a film on self defense that I referred to. A lot of what the LEO was talking about was how to avoid being mugged. He said women should have their purses strapped across their bodies rather than carrying by hand. Makes it very difficult for purse snatchers. He also suggested carrying a false wallet with very little money in it. When you're threatened by a robber you should throw the money on the ground (which the robber will most likely go for) and run away. Your goal should always be to get away rather than fighting the assailant. He also demonstrated a few self defensive moves to get out of the assailant's grip. Once you break free, run!
Yes, this film was long ago and I'm sure times have changed with cell phones and cameras. Of course many women carry some type of spray for protection too. Any other suggestions I could give are against forum rules and I may have crossed the line already.
As far as the Ted Bundy comment I made, he did things to attract women before attacking them. The huffpost thing talks about avoiding suspicious men. Bundy didn't come off as suspicious but rather he used charm and other ploys like wearing a fake cast on his arm to appear non-threatening.
As men staying out of trouble the best advice I have been given: keep your much shut, keep your back against the wall, and carry.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
It's actually a good idea to ask for suggestions. Here are some of mine. Below are things I do every single day. They are a combination of what I consider common sense, and twenty years of experience in the Commandos, where some of our training was to operate in a clandestine fashion.
1. Situational Awareness. Be aware of your surroundings at all time, no matter where you are or what you're doing. If you're at home, you should know what doors/windows are open/closed, whether your front/back gate is open, closed or locked. You should know who you're expecting to visit and when. If you're out driving, you should be observant of other vehicles around you and their behaviour. That way you can look for tell-tales of whether other drivers may become aggressive (road rage), whether you're being followed, or if they're driving in a way that may cause an accident. If you're out walking, public transport, etc, you should be aware of everyone around you. You should check your rear often, and take note of people who are either too close behind you or have been behind you for extended periods. You should be aware of anyone paying extra attention to you. If alone or at night, you should take note of EVERYONE. Remember to always check your back.
2. Personal security. Don't open the front door unless you know who it is or have a security flyscreen. Drive with your car doors locked at all times. When walking, never have ear buds in at any time. Do not use your smart device while walking. When using your smart device when in the street, use it for the least time possible and have your back to a wall. Always plan for an 'escape route'. All of your items (bags, handbags, packs, etc) should either be touching you or in front of you (i.e. in your eyeline). You should never be carrying a bag, daypack, etc, with an open pouch or opened zipper.
As I said, I do all the above pretty much all the time, and I live in one of the worlds "most liveable cities". I don't lament the fact that I feel that I have to do this. I celebrate the fact that nearly all the time I realise that my precautions weren't necessary. The added bonus to this is that if I travel to another part of the world where things aren't as safe, I don't have to learn new habits, as they're already instilled.
3. Self defence. The best single self defence is to run away. So you're at greater risk if your outfit doesn't allow this. And it's not like you're going to have to sprint a kilometre; it's often as little as 50 metres (roughly 50 yards for the metrically challenged, LOL). IF you're situationally aware, you should have realised your threat while he is still some distance away. Run quickly without warning, and you'll be 20 metres away before he's realised what's happened. Keep running, and it's likely he'll have given up.
Create noise. Scream, yell, or have a police whistle on your keyring. The police whistle is a great idea. The risk is getting to it in time. Loud, and you wont lose your voice doing it.
It would be difficult to go into unarmed combat and self-defence techniques on a forum such as this one. My preference (others may disagree) that you're always better of knowing how to use the bodies natural weapons rather than mace, keys, 'tools' etc. The reason for this is that a weapon can be a focus. My opinion is that you want a holistic approach to self defence.
Natural weapons of the body include: Forehead, teeth, elbows, fists, the heel of your hand, the outside edge of your hand, fingers, thumbs, knees, shins and feet (heels and toes). There are attack techniques for each of these; some more appropriate than others, depending on what's available.
Natural weaknesses of the body include: Hair, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, chin, throat, elbows, wrists, fingers, stomach, balls, thighs, kneecaps, shins, toes.
My advice is to find a boxing/mma/self defence class and attend. My preference would be for boxing/mma over martial arts, because those disciplines teach you to keep on fighting AFTER you've received a smack in the face. Martial arts tend to be more civil in their outlook.
I can write more on this, but I've got to go. I've got a busy few days ahead.
I hope that this info has helped someone.
Cheers,
Michelle
Michelle lists some excellent points.
One comment concerning "self defense" classes. Check with the local police or college is one is near you. Many colleges offer some type of self defense class for students who are interested. Even better but some will allow outsiders to take the class as well as students.
Thanks Michelle for adding so much helpful info. I was also thinking that if you're wearing heels, you've diminished your ability to run away and you're more likely to lose your balance and fall when attacked.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
First, Jenny..... great post. (I've been so busy I've failed to keep in personal touch, girl)
Concur with everything Aussie Michelle states; and I bow to her professional expertise in personal defense tips. All good. The most significant theme in personal security is BE AWARE; situational awareness. This is a lesson I've learned over and over again in a aircraft cockpit and on the ground. Just knowing what is happening around you will save you from so many close calls and near death experiences. I've also spent a good deal of time on the ground in remote and foreign cities, towns and villages; not all of them warm and friendly. I know how to watch my back and not make a target of myself. Keep your head on a swivel, as the saying goes.
One thing I always keep in mind, and I tell "my women" (wife, daughters) this all the time. If you can't flee or put space between you and a threat, ALWAYS FIGHT. If an attacker is going to harm you, make them kill you on the spot. Do not get into a vehicle. Resist. Leave scratches. marks on the attacker and DNA under your fingernail. This is your last chance because if you let an attacker or rapist get you into the car or take you to their place, death is guaranteed.
Always resist once you realize the situation. Yes, there are situations where someone literally has the drop on you. I was in such an armed robbery once where a revolver was placed between my eyes. While I could have easily overpowered my assailant in the close quarters, he had a partner holding other victims hostage (one of them my son) against a wall. Had I spontaneously acted someone may have been shot. In that case, I "talked our way" out of being killed, but at the mere loss of our purses and wallets. Had the scenario turned to imminent death, ALWAYS FIGHT would have been required.
One thing to consider, even if someone approaches with a weapon. RUN, even if the weapon is a gun. Most people are terrible shots in an stressful situation. Look at law enforcement dash cam videos some time. Many of these gun fights with criminals happen with the space of 8-10 ft across the hood of a car. Bullets spray everywhere with a low percentage of "hits". And these are people trained and practiced in the use of weapons (not including crooks). If you run from a car jacker to parking lot assailant, chances are they won't have the presence of mind or cool to place a shot.
There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.
Hmm, yeah...
Some good common-sense tips on staying safe out there, sure. I suppose I kinda know what it's like, while being out & about back during my en-femme days. I sorta quickly learned on-the-fly in a few situations. It also helped me realize why GG's already do certain things in a certain way, firsthand.
However, this is where I take issue...
On the flip side: One could argue, given the source, that this is yet another thinly-disguised attempt at demonizing & vilifying men as a group. Pretty systemic, really, considering it's been going on for decades, repeatedly pounded into impressionable minds of the fairer sex. "Yeah, that's right, GG's... Especially you younger ones. Men are evil, not to be trusted. They only want to hurt you. Stay away from them at all costs!"
Please.
Believe me, I'm biting my tongue hard on this one, in so many different spots.
And I wasn't going to mention this here, but now I will...
Earlier this year, I personally helped to raise thousands of dollars for a young woman in need. Won't get into details, but let's just say it was a major medical issue, affecting her reproductive health. I didn't know her, never met her... Just a friend of a friend of a friend. But without a doubt her story was legit. And quite serious.
Countless people soon got involved, some GG's, mostly *men*, who also did not know her. We spent a lot of time, money & effort on this, and it was a quick, decisive & smashing success. We knew we had to act fast, as time was not on her side. We helped her out in a BIG way... Drastically changed her life for the better, on so many levels.
And this group of (mostly) men were not known crossdressers, nor were we any kind of feminists or anything. Just your regular hard-working Average Joes, scattered from one coast to the other. We simply saw someone who was in dire need, with not much hope, and we did our darn best to put things right in her world. And as an aside, this is far from being the first case of something like this... This rag-tag group also assists disabled veterans who were permanently injured in war, for example, as well as entire families (men, women & children) who had their whole lives turned upside-down by natural disasters... That kind of thing. And not just financially, I might add.
Believe me, it's a fantastic group -- of mostly MEN.
So, this young woman with the medical issues... How does she now view men? Is it what *could* happen, as in the Huff Post's article? Sorry, but those are not "men," in my book.
Or, is it something way more positive -- something awesome that actually *did* happen, having a profound impact on the rest of not only her life, but also the lives of her loved ones?
Please, stop with the man-hating, already. It's quite sexist. And frankly, untrue. Not to mention obnoxious -- and honestly, pretty damaging to society.
They want to report on something? How about something *good* for a change, like the above real-life story, actually putting men in a positive light??
Of course, I won't be holding my breath on that.
Pretty pathetic, really. Shame on them...
Just do what I do!
I find going out to vanilla venues stressful. So, I only go out with other dressers.
Less stressful, more fun, and WAY safer!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
some of those tips are just being Paranoid.
I like to be seen but not by people that know me as a male.
Hi Nirvanna,
Personal security is something of a passion of mine; this weekend I'm giving lectures on aspects of security to people who've never had to take it seriously before. So I would be interested in hearing which tips you consider paranoid and the reasoning.some of those tips are just being Paranoid.
I'm not having a go at you, or trying to start a fight or anything like that; I'm genuinely interested. If you've asked the question, chances are there are others thinking the same thoughts. I'd enjoy the opportunity to explain the reasoning behind any of my safety tips.
Michelle.
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