Have you told your children?

[Piora]

My daughter discovered it by accident. A pair of high heel pumps that I ordered came by courier, instead of how I thought they would come....by Canada Post! I was at work and she signed for them and saw the contents on the label.

If interested, you can read my original post from 2011 in greater detail.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...+Pair+of+Shoes

[DMichele]

Judy,
I can really relate to your experience! I told my wife-to-be about 1-1/2 years before we were married that I was a crossdresser. We had some very good times, but we had many ups and downs and grew apart. After 29 years of marriage, she blamed the divorce on my cd-ing, and threatened to tell the children.

I told the my (3) daughters earlier this year about my transgender identity and received their acceptance. One of my daughters discussed my reveal with her mother, whom acknowledged that she knew about it. But I am sure my ex was quite surprised by the reveal.


At best, my ex and I keeps communication very simple (i.e. basic hellos) and not much else.

[mattea]

I agree with the comments on the relevancy of age, a child could be accepting then accidentally spill the beans to one of their friends and things could get complicated or awkward if the friend makes a deal out of it. All of my kids know now. Just recently had the discussion with my youngest. I waited until they were a little older and struggled with telling them, and they all were all like, "sure, ok and whatever makes you happy". I think they always had a sense and more credit to my wife, they have been brought up to love everyone and everything. My wife has always been more than supportive, our relationship is so much deeper because we share literally everything with each other. I know I have heard many on this forum talk about their issues with the significant others and coming clean, I still had those feelings of shame and despair when I struggled to tell them and even did that when I came completely clean with my wife (many many years ago) about it. I was so worried when I told the kids, but it all worked out. I still have other family members that I will probably never tell, but had to tell the kids something, I felt I needed to be just absolutely honest with them. Good Luck along your path!

Mattea

[kimdl93]

My kids know. Sons heard it from my first ex...during a number of angry outbursts. My step daughters, heard it from me.

My advice is to have another series of conversations with your wife, devoting a lot of time to her feelings (not to change them, just to understand) and it would be fair to explore her attitude vascilates between love and disdain. You may not reach a mutually acceptable conclusion, but one thing you assure her of is that a) you love her, b) you love your kids, and c) if she feels she should tell the kids, its OK with you.

[NjJamie]

Judy, I'm in a somewhat similar situation though she took me shopping on Sat and I'm wearing a very nice Vera Wang LBD, absolutely delicious undies and a smile a mile wide!

She's told me the kids know something but that might be to keep me under control and out of the Pink fog, it's just too much fun when I'm there.

Good luck going forward!

[Steph_CD_62]

I believe both my kids know, but not 100% sure.

I have told my daughter (age 28) a couple years ago. I had to take her on a long road trip so I thought it would be a good chance to tell her. She lived with her mother (my ex) up in Seattle so figured she would be more accepting. She has never seen me dressed, except one time I went to her house and I was wearing my women's boots and she made a comment. Had to run home and go back to her place so I changed my shoes while I was home.

I have not told my son (age 30) yet, but I am pretty sure he knows. You know kids talk about their parents all the time.

I have not told either of my step-kids, but again I think they both know. When I first got together with my wife I told her about my dressing and she talked to her mom and sister about it, and my wife's family talk with each other all the time.

[Asew]

I have kids from preschool to starting middle school. They all have no problem with it. All three regularly see me in skirts but nothing more. My wife even got me a dress for father's day that they have seen but only on a hanger. My wife has made hints about my shoes around them but I think only the eldest picked up on that. My wife is concerned about them getting bullied about it at school so she limits my dressing to avoid anyone from school or their parents from seeing me dressed.

[Rollermiss]

I told my daughters about 18 months ago. They where cool about it.

Kelsey

[michelle.foster]

I told my 4 when they were all in the 30's for a couple reasons. 1. I was tired of hiding it, my wife is very supportive and 2. I didn't want them showing up at my house unannounced, surprise, surprise. They were all cool with the idea, although, three have never asked about it. One said she already knew - I have never asked how she knew - I don't really care how she figured it out. One wanted to see me dressed and has bought me clothes, and her kids have seen me dressed.
So, yes, Tell them.

[Ceera]

When I first started under dressing (wearing silky women's bikini panties under my male clothes), both my wife and my 17 year old daughter knew. At the time I said I liked that style, which had been popular back when I was in high school but was no longer marketed to men. They accepted that, and my wife simply said she didn't want me wearing her undies. That was no problem, as the plain cotton kind which she liked didn't appeal to me, anyway.

I did not tell either of them that I also had a hidden gym bag containing a full change of women's clothes, including a wig, heavily padded bra and shoes, which I sometimes tried on when no one else was at home.

After my wife died, I came out to my daughter and started trying full-on cross dressing, including going out socially in public. My daughter, who was 18 at the time, was fully accepting and supportive, and still is very supportive for me, 4 years later.

[Sherri_Christopher]

My three kids are all grown up adults now. I think my daughter and older son know of my CDing, but we don't talk about it. I don't think my younger son knows and he and his wife are pretty religious and I don't think they would take it well if I told them. For those of you who have told your kids about CDing, more power to you and I'm happy for those of you whose kids took the news well! I was straight with my wife about it and told her that I liked wearing women's clothes before we were married. She was tolerant of my CDing, but it was not to be confused with being accepting. She didn't like to see me dressed, so I kept it to myself. In turn, I'm taking the same tack with the kids, keeping it to myself. I love them and I don't want to lay this on them, they've got enough in life to deal with.

[Stephanie47]

Judy, based on your prior posts I can only assume your wife would tell your kids in a very toxic manner. She thinks revealing your cross dressing would drive a wedge between you and your kids. Trying to drive that wedge between you and your kids may backfire. And, if she does drive a wedge between you and your kids maybe that will be the last straw for you and you can get out from under her thumb and live the rest of your life in peace.

[t-girlxsophie]

Sadly I've been estranged from my son for a few years,he is 25 now.Its a story I struggle to convey adequately.We work different shifts in the same work and every now and again our paths cross and we share pleasantries but it's a long way from being resolved.

I do believed he's a tolerant lad (his best friends gay)it was my dishonesty more than anything else that has driven this wedge between us.It breaks my heart and I keep praying that someday i will be back in his life.

Sophie

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Wife stayed DADT, no comment, no sharing of any feelings or opinions.

Now that would worry me.

[SharonDenise]

I've answered this question previously but its been awhile, so I'll repeat my story. I came out to my wife while we were still dating. She accepted and supported my cross dressing. For the 40 years that we were married it was just a secret between the two of us. Unfortunately, my wife passed four years ago. The amount of female clothes that I own has increased enormously. I felt that I had to tell both of my daughters who are now in their mid-thirties in case they ever had to go through my clothes. They both accepted the news but neither one wants me to talk about it with them. My older daughter who is really involved with social issues, I thought would be more open to it. It would be nice to discuss the issue at least but I don't.

[Cherylgyno]

Judy. My wife caught me a month after we wed. I gave her the old I promise to never dress again as I unzipped the dress I was wearing. My wife called my bluff and rezipped me.
Our daughters caught me when they were 13&15. They were suppose to be at a sleep over. They came home early, cut through the back yard and we're peeking through a gap in the drapes. I heard the patio door start islide open. I jumped from my chair, before I got a couple of steps one of them said We see you Dad. I sat back in my chair. My wife said You handle this one, she went to bed.
I tried to think of a way to explain to them that their Dad really loves to dress. Almost in harmony they told me that cross dressing was covered in sex ed. There was a little chat. They informed me that they thought it was really cool. They each sat on a knee and we fell asleep.

[Rachelakld]

My daughters bought me a hand bag for Christmas this year, last year it was perfume and leggings.
They think it's great I appreciate female stuff as my male side doesn't want stuff and we also have fun when shopping together.

I did wait until they were old enough to understand how much hassle they would get if they let anyone at school know, but now their older, even their boyfriends have seen me dressed.

I might not be "right" in the head, but on the scale of mental health, I'm on the winning side (fun, friendly, upbeat - unlike those with depression, anger issues, bipolar etc)

[CynthiaD]

My children are all grown. I haven't told them about my crossdressing, but I spend most of my time en femme and they've all seen me dressed many times. Sometimes they just show up unannounced. Sometimes I have a forewarning, but just don't feel like changing. I don't know how they feel about it, because the question has never come up.

Quite a number of years ago, I made up my mind that I wasn't going to "come out" to anyone (except my wife of course) but I wasn't going to hide either. I also decided that I wasn't going to get embarrassed about it or apologize for it. "Here I am. This is me. Take it or leave it." Not apologizing is the reason I don't "come out" to anyone. It's too much like making a confession, and I'm not doing anything wrong, so I have nothing to confess.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Judy , I don't see the need to burden my daughters with this. >Orchid..OO..

[leotard fan]

no i did not. he is 21 now, and open mind, but never tell him...

[Bobbi46]

No, the next big hurdle in my life but having just reconnected with my daughter after 23 years of not knowing where she was holds be back but having a secret from the family is a hard one to bear to bear i must but soon i will find a way then my life will be complete.

[countrygirl]

Has anyone ever told your kids only to discover that they are also a crossdresser?