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Thread: Is there a connection between crossdressing and being asexual?

  1. #26
    MtF Transgender JeanTG's Avatar
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    Well I am in a hostile DADT situation (and the marriage may very well be over because of it), and have been cut off of sex as a result, and yes it's because I didn't turn out to be the manly man she desired, even though I came out to her well before marriage and she seemed to like me precisely because I was not a typical "macho" male.

    But I am by no means asexual; I still have erotic thoughts, and masturbate regularly (whether en femme or not; it's not connected to my presentation, but to my horniness). Yes with age my libido and erectile capacity have declined, but not enough to completely erase sexual desire. I am not, however, particularly interested in finding another sexual partner, whether I stay "married" or separate. At least not at this time. If ever I do, it's bound to be hard finding a woman interested in a person with gender dysphoria.

  2. #27
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    You are confusing asexual with "involuntary celibacy". Someone who is asexual isn't attracted to others. An "incel" is attracted to others and wants sex but cannot have it for whatever reason. Similar to those in DADT relationships. And a sexless marriage is common after disclosure, I have known zillions in that situation over the years.

    I crossdress but I am sure not asexual, buy any stretch of the imagination. I am forced to live without intimacy because women do not find me sexually attractive (not "man enough".) Definitely not something I want or chose, to put it lightly.

  3. #28
    My BF and Style Guru Millisense's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jayme357 View Post
    Am I screwed up or what?
    Sounds normal Jayme based on other monogamous relationships here and not here.
    "Monogamy" is twice as bad as two four-letter words to some people, but then a sacred 8-letter word like "precious" and "covenant" to others.
    I feel for you though when you said: "two hour time blocks now and then to be me."
    Don't you deserve to simply enjoy your life?

  4. #29
    Transgender Marie-Jo's Avatar
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    Connection between Asexuality and Crossdressing – I do not see a significant connection unless someone presents some correlations and figures. I can not see that not having sex is the same as asexuality.The latter is probably just a small subset.
    Regarding crossdressing and sex drive – I have had some fears that it would lessen the interest in sex, for me as well as for my wife, but that has not happened. She sort of endure my crossdressing and does not see me as a woman, even when dressed. Fully dressed I certainly distorts her picture of me as her male partner but slight crossdressing like use of skirt and top, a little makeup and some more feminine traits seem to be filtered away. We here in this forum seem to differ widely with regards to how a SO reacts.
    I certainly do not ”fall into the "asexual" category”and when my wife sometimes has shown less interest, the CD-ing has been a powerful inspiration for me to find stimulating sex activities.Even in times when my wife and I have had a low level of intimacy, then CD activities have been a sensual and sexual stimulation to me. I would say that CD has for me been a help to keep a sustainable level of sexual activity, even now when entering the age of 70. My wife and I enjoy sex once a week and I’m following doctors recommendation to do some training in between, according to his warning ”if you don’t use,it you loose it”.
    But I’m not CD-ing in bed. We are having sex naked. She would not like me to have bra with sillies or stay-ups etc, when having sex. I would not rise that topic either even if I can see some interesting sensations from it.
    Regarding the ”chastity” aspects.I have learned that there are many both men and women who are denied sex by their partners, so there are many other causes behind such situations, more than CD-ing even if it may be a part of the problem in some cases. To some SO may crossdressing inhibit intimacy and in effect inhibit sex in the relation but that is not asexuality.
    Most of those who I have learned that they are denied sex have not described themselves as asexual, but rather that they have a big sorrow and are missing sex. If they were asexual they would probably not see it as a problem but a fortunate situation and would not mention the subject. On the other side, some asexual persons put big emphasis on other aspects of intimate relations. They may still like intimacy, all but … If denied that, it may be a problem to them.
    Last edited by Marie-Jo; 06-28-2018 at 02:06 PM.
    Marie

  5. #30
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leslie Langford View Post
    Then there are those of us who likely are (or became) asexual because the "dream girl" that we created for ourselves and embrace on a regular basis is enough to satisfy our libidos.
    I think your concept of the term asexual might be a bit off. One doesn’t become asexual or is asexual because of some reason. One either is or isn’t. It’s like saying someone is or became homosexual. I don’t think it really works that way.

    One may become celibate voluntarily or through circumstance but not asexual.
    I am not a woman nor am I am man... I am an enby. Hi, my name is Wren.
    http://IamWren.net

  6. #31
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    Amazon offers amazingly many chastity cages.
    I suppose they are for sissy slaves.
    I've never tried it. Have you?
    Is it possible to find a master by dressing with a collar?

  7. #32
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    Leslie it seems to be true in your case and may very well be in other cases but I wouldn't think there is a hard and fast rule that one leads to another.

  8. #33
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Eh, to put it bluntly, one could argue that at different periods in my life, I was genuinely & effectively either hetero, bi, or asexual, for any given extended time (talking years).

    There may have also been a couple shorter periods where I was pretty much attracted only to TS's.


    Can it change like that? I dunno. But that's how it was with me, and I'm probably not typical of many CD'ers.

    And I know that it's two separate things, but my identifying-gender had kinda been in flux during all this, as well. It's my opinion that it did indeed play a role in my shifting sexual orientation. But, what do I know?


    For the record, my main "default" has always been hetero, with a slight leaning towards asexuality... Which is where I am today.

    I'm happy with it.

  9. #34
    Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    I'm asexual, but I've never considered a connection between the two. Just never had interest in being in a sexual relationship. I crossdress because I enjoy doing it.

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