"How do you avoid the "Paper Trail" ?

[Judy-Somthing]

The so called "Paper Trail" do you hate it?

Any time I use the internet to look at something or buy something or credit card to buy something it's there for almost ever!

I bought a All-in one which I love two years ago (which is so cool) and used PayPal now it's still there on PayPal that I bought it!
Heels, breast forms, etc. what the hell!
My wife thinks CDing is messed-up so I have to stay in the closet.
I have to use cash for everything! I would love to be opened but it looks like not in my lifetime!

Wife been digging through the basement, I think it's to find evidence of CDing, I'm thinking next is my computer.

I wish she was more excepting that people are not all the same! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The question is "how do you avoid the "Paper Trail" ?

[docrobbysherry]

Judy, there r computer savy folks that can explain how to delete your "history". Unfortunately, I'm not one!

[Jodie_Lynn]

doesn't bother me. One of the benefits of living alone: you don't have to hide things.

[giuseppina]

This one is obvious. Shop in a bricks and mortar store and pay cash.

I realize your wife may not appreciate this option.

[DaisyLawrence]

I don't, I couldn't love someone who can't accept me and I couldn't allow myself to be controlled like that. Sorry.

[Sashauk]

If you use the Internet to buy anything you can not avoid leaving a record of your purchases somewhere. All the stores I have bought from keep a record of your orders, and whist you can delete a record of your browsing from your own computer, this is outside your control. So anyone who can login to these sites with your username and password will be able to see a history of your buying.

As Giuseppia said the only way not to leave a record is to shop personally using cash.

[sometimes_miss]

Separate accounts, separate browsers. Some banking companies keep records simply for legal purposes, so the paypal problem will remain. Solution? Get a separate credit card # for internet use, and use that one only for your online purchases. Attach that to a separate paypal account as well. For Amazon, you can archive orders so they don't show up in the active order history. And, of course, you can get a separate amazon account for your femme self, and of course only use your special credit card or paypal account for those reasons. Erase your browsing history, and destroy all cookies, temp files, and passwords that your browsers normally keep.
That's a good start. More techy folks can give you more. But as Microsoft, google, and practically every site starts monitoring where you go online, you're going to have to learn how to hide EVERYTHING. Perhaps use a browser designed to hide stuff? I think tor is an option.

[Beverley Sims]

Use cash and give a false zip code.

Gotta work on Pay Pal though.

[Elizabeth G]

If the are still times when you need to use a credit card use cash to buy a Visa gift card and then use that card with whatever name you choose.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Perhaps part of the problem here is your wife's resentment of the money you spend on Judy's wardrobe?

Perhaps the solution isn't (the impossibility of) completely hiding your transactions, but reaching an understanding with your wife?

Yeah I know, easy for me to say. But if she's looking to dig up evidence, that does indicate that she is spending an awful lot of time thinking about the subject. If so, perhaps she should be obliged to talk about it face to face instead of operating behind your back? So what if it makes her uncomfortable- it makes you uncomfortable to have to live a lie.

[Lacey New]

This one is obvious. Shop in a bricks and mortar store and pay cash.

I realize your wife may not appreciate this option.

Ditto - I'm in the closet and cash and brick-and-mortar stores is what I do. So, when is the last time you saw a garter belt in a brick and mortar store? Good luck with that! I'm still looking.

[ClosetED]

You can only close the PayPal account and start a new one.This is not browser history, which is easy to delete or I just use a Private Browsing mode (aka Incognito).
Or start 2 PayPal accounts, one for family use and one for Judy. I have 2 Amazon accounts like that. I pay for Ellen's things using Amazon gift cards or one credit card. My wife has a card for that, but she is aware I buy things. You could open a new one and not tell wife and make it paperless, so nothing gets mailed to you, just to a Judy e-mail account. I buy stuff with cash in places like Savers. And I password protect my files.
Hugs, Ellen

[Joyce Swindell]

Right click on whatever browser you're using and a window will open, choose incognito. This will keep your computer from keeping cookies or anything to do with browsing history

[Traci H]

Funny when I read “Paper Trail” I wondered if you meant literally. I have accidentally left a receipt laying around and my wife questioned it. We are some form of DADT but leaving that evidence around never makes her happy. Usually destroy those if the item is good.

Good tips above, but sometimes a lot of work to maintain consistently.

[RaeK]

Although we're DADT, my wife is tolerant enough that I tell her what and when I order any items. She knows I dress when I can but doesn't want to see me dressed, other than in my nightgown.

[ChrisP]

You can have more than one PayPal account. I'd suggest you have a second account with a separate credit card. The same for eBay and places like that.
That's what I do (and not because I'm hiding it from anyone but rather for privacy concerns).

Chris

[GeorgiaD]

The so called "Paper Trail" do you hate it?

Any time I use the internet to look at something or buy something or credit card to buy something it's there for almost ever!

I bought a All-in one which I love two years ago (which is so cool) and used PayPal now it's still there on PayPal that I bought it!
Heels, breast forms, etc. what the hell!
My wife thinks CDing is messed-up so I have to stay in the closet.
I have to use cash for everything! I would love to be opened but it looks like not in my lifetime!

Wife been digging through the basement, I think it's to find evidence of CDing, I'm thinking next is my computer.

I wish she was more excepting that people are not all the same! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The question is "how do you avoid the "Paper Trail" ?

Hi, eBay purchases can be hidden. There is an option in the drop down box (other actions) on the right when you view the summary of your purchase history.

In PayPal, click on the item you need to hide and it will expand with further information. There is an option to delete that item if you need to.

G xx

[Stephanie47]

The problem with using a credit card is it will show up on your credit report. You can get a credit card with only you as the authorized user, but, that will not stop the linkage between you and your wife from showing up on a credit report. I have bought on line from Macy's and JCPenny. Those are stores my wife also buys from, but, not on line. When I check those stores.com sales history, it shows panties, dresses, foundation garments. If my wife wanted to check something, then she could easily see those purchases. The only answer for your is to buy in person and pay cash. You could open a second Paypal account with linkage for payment to a non interest bearing checking account. Then opt for the checking account to have paperless statements sent to you by email. I've never seen a checking account appear on our credit reports. If my wife were to ever look at our credit card statement she'd notice many bills from eBay.

Your wife is a gem, and, not being said in a nice way. This is more than not appreciating your desires to wear women's clothing, even in total privacy. I could never endure this innate hostility toward me. At some point in time you're going to have a real sit down with her, and, just lay it all out. If your wife cannot find it in her heart to weigh your positive attributes against what she feels is a negative attribute and come to the conclusion to just suck it up, then is it worth staying together?

[Joyce Swindell]

I'm working on getting a "Net Card" so I haven't received it yet so I can't speak for it yet. My understanding is it's a refillable card and they didn't ask for a social or anything to sign up for it.

I suppose I could buy a refillable Visa locally too to make.y purchases.

[Teresa]

Judy,
Only one way is stick to cash .

Am I glad all that is behind me now !

[2B Natasha]

Personally. I’m waiting for the inevitable post that’s coming down the tracks. Something along the lines of. “ my wife found out I’m still dressing and wants a divorce “. Judy. You’re setting yourself up for a long hard fall. Your lying to your wife about dressing, you've set up a back room so you can dress again. Your taking pictures, using makeup buying with a credit card.

There is only one way out for you. Ok two. But the first one didn’t work last time so that’s out. You need to come clean to your wife. Will it be easy? No. Will it lead to a separation? Possibly. Let’s be honest here. The same thing if not worse is coming down the road anyway. Get in front of it.

You don’t want a paper trial. Cash for gift cards at the store. Almost every store sells them. No info required. PO box in a different town.

[kimdl93]

I wish I had a solution to offer, Judy. I'm not sure there is a right answer to this. What works for one may be catastrophic for another. (I was pretty sure I had one of those surprisingly accepting wives....and that proved to not be the case. Or, perhaps more accurately, I exhausted her capacity for tolerance.)

Despite my marriage's demise, I still feel that honesty and compromise are a better alternative than hiding and deceit. Something is inevitably going to give you away. Especially if she's already got her antennae up. Besides that, its got to be exhausting for you to constantly be on guard, and for her to be on alert for telltale signs.

[Alice B]

I am lucky.I use my credit card for everything, including purchases for Alice.My wife does my books and sees all purchases. Sometimes she will ask about what a purchase was for and I tell her the truth. It is my money so I can use it for whatever I want, with no arguments

[LeannS]

Hey Judy use a different browser like firefox and use the private option on all your girl needs.
Make a gmail account for you using Judy and make a new ebay account with your new email account
and be sure to delete the old one that has all your girl purchases on it.
then for paypal just give new email address should do it
to pay for it use a new checking account just be sure to put money in it for the monthly bill

but above all else good luck aand you should have a talk sooner than later

[Vickie_CDTV]

Paypal will save everything, most likely forever somewhere. That is out of your control, not something you can do on your computer, it is on theirs. They have to keep everything, at least for a very long period of time, for legal reasons. All stores you buy from with a credit card do this (again, they have to.)

Like others said, all you can do is use gift cards and a PO box. Even that isn't foolproof. Your marriage situation is the bigger issue.