For me there's always a sexual component. Sometimes it's subtle while other times . . . oh my! In all cases, it's all good fun!
For me there's always a sexual component. Sometimes it's subtle while other times . . . oh my! In all cases, it's all good fun!
Ilene, I, too, have felt the same way about dressing up totally as a woman. I love to feel as if I am really a woman who could be attracted by a man,but the desire to be with one has never occurred. Dressing is enough for me.
My dressing started around the same time when I started masturbating. This linked the two of them together for a long time. Now that I dress more around the house and such, it isn't arousing on its own accord. But I definitely get aroused quicker when dressed though (and the sexier the outfit the quicker it is).
We can be both crossdressers experiencing that particular behavior, and also be horny at the same time, while neither is connected to each other. Most men are on the verge of being sexually aroused almost all the time (for me, it may only take a glance at a very hot chic; happened at work one day, a smokin' hot young woman in a revealing outfit and also wearing perfume walked by, and I felt the physiological response almost immediately). So it's no surprise that it happens when we're crossdressed, too.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I started dressing not expecting to desire a man. Over time that has changed. I desire, and have enjoyed a man, while dressed.
What a fantastic thread and interesting topic!!!
Thanks for sharing, you seem to know how I feel.
My wife was watching a show about guys who want to be women. It really bothered her.
I wish the show showed more levels like for me, I love to dress up but have no interest in being a woman.
I find it so cool to dress fem now and then but not all the time especially now that I'm 60 , it's way to much work!
Maybe if she knew it was just fun, it wouldn't bother her so much!
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Lexi,
How would you have survived in my situation as a professional photographer being surrounded for hours with beautifully dressed women when attending weddings , not only that you had to arange their dresses and persuade them how to look more attractive in front of the camera , to think I actually got paid to do this !!
Judy,
Maybe your wife should consider it's not only men who wish to crossdress or have gender issues , some clinics are now looking at a 50-50 split , so how would she deal with watching a program about F/M TSs ? Maybe you should try asking her that !
I'm 67 and looking to dress more , yes it is more work but it has to be brought down to a level of how GGs go about their business everyday . Makeup , hair, clothes , everyday is as harder to achieve than dressing to the nines . It's not about feeling girly all the time , it's more about about looking female enough to integrate .
It's mostly been a sexual obsessive/compulsion throughout my life. If I had never become active in this forum, I never would have gone out dressed.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
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What a great post kind of like coming out of the closet and admitting that cloths are a turn on. When I was young 10 or 11 for some reason I wanted to mimic boobs, softballs in my t-shirt but as I got older 13 thru 16 cloths, slips, bra, girdle were a major turn on and part of the means to the end. They remain that way to some extent but lesser so no that I am in my early 70's . I enjoy the act of dressing, the makeup and hair and differnt outfits, but they are less of a sexual turn on. I do enjoy going out when dressed and seldom have a problem, I dress to blend, and as Phili said the cloths just become cloths but as I pass by a window or mirror and I recognize that reflection the turn on is there.
I guess my question would be are all hobbies this much fun. I hope so.
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Chelsea You are right about the guilt especially at that age. It was get dressed, get off ,get them off and be ashamed until the next time. Not so much now I still suffer some guilt but I don't let it bother me and I enjoy my girl time
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
I started dressing in my teens. In my 30's I went out and bought my first pair of heels, and that did it. It became more sexual over time I think. I am a male and not trying to change that. I like wearing traditional women's clothes. I am open to a variety of sexual options. I prefer to dress in lingerie when a sexual opportunity arises. I don't feel bad about it. I'm not sure "what" I am now.
I began dressed when I was a child as well, long before I knew what sex was. I love to dress whenever time allows, generally only allows me to underdress most of the time. Wife accepts it and has been very good about it, we have an interesting relationship. I am definitely much more sexual when I'm dressed, no doubt about it. Maybe fetish, maybe taboo, I don't care which and neither does she!
Hi!!!!!Originally Posted by IleneD
I agree with Alice that I want to look as pretty and sexy as possible... but for whom? I am not sure about that. I do all in privacy, and I am terrified to be seen. On the other side, I definetly crave some validation of my femminity. I just did not expect to have adolescent insecurities well in my forties, and now from "the other side".
And I DO confess that I have felt like Ilene describes, even if I consider myself to be a (mostly) heterosexual male
Love love,
Val
I have pondered the term autosexuality for part of the dressing motivation. In part-not the whole because calling it all sexual would discount the simple joy of dressing femme-cross dressing allows me to play both roles at the same time, indulging in (even exploiting) a fantasy woman that shares my fetishes without the complications that usually arise.
As most of you I started dressing up as a child, either my aunt's (who lived with is) or my Mom's clothing, mostly 'girly' stuff, bathing suits, bras & lingerie. At this time my sexual fantasies started transitioning over several years from being about girls to being about men, with me as the girl. Eventually all my sexual fantasies were me being the girl. As I got older I would acquired clothes & makeup then crash and throw them all away, then start over as the urge got too strong. I dated off and on during this time, but never revealed my other side to any of my girlfriends.
I went through that several times. Then I bought a wig, then another, then another and ended up with a whole wardrobe. I would dress up, spend the day en femme, end it with me having sex with toys and crash and feel awful about myself. This lasted through my twenties.
I also had a fantasy about meeting the right woman who would 'fix' my issue, and I finally thought I did meet her, got married at 38 and threw away all my clothes. I didn't dress up for about five years, but had continual fantasy's about it and actually did it twice over the next six or seven.
Fast forward another five years, and again the urge has got the best of me, and maybe I'm finally OK with that. For me it is about being the woman, I feel soooo fantastic dressed up that I will have 'sex' with toys but not to orgasm because I know that will end it. This can happen several times during a session (My dressups are few and far between due to my wife, who would never accept it if she knew, and always at a hotel while I am travelling for work). I even get arousal from stepping outside my hotel room for a minute or two, tempting fate walking down the hallways. Maybe I want to be caught?
I still consider myself a hetro male as a man, but dressed up I am the woman, and if I could go back 20 years and start over who knows who I'd be...
Presenting as a female has gone from adventure in the early days to owning it and looking neat and in place when going out.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
It occurred to me, today, I found my mother's panties and half slips enticing at age 6, long before any sexual thoughts can start milling about the brain.
Thankfully, my wife indulges me...though neither of us really can figure out why I like wearing a bra, and she hates it. I think it's because they're a treat to see in the 'wild'.
I'm purely hetero, but love to dress at home and sometimes sleep in several layered half slips. Love bridesmaid dresses/formal satin gowns, tool.
It started as curiosity, I guess, and sexuality took over when i was about 12. Every time my mother and sister wanted to go to a store or whatever, I'd always stay behind and raid my mother's dresser and closet. She and I were about the same size when I was that age, and she was nicely large in the breast. There were a couple of skirts of hers and one particular dress I loved.
I'm sure she caught on at some point, but I was always ultra-careful with the way things were arranged.
Unlike many of y'all, I have no desire to pass, or even go outside. This is for me (and my lovely wife, if she wants), and that's all. Even after 44 years of doing this, it's almost purely sexual in nature.
This is a fascinating topic and it has really shown me just how "fluid" we are as human beings. Motivations are so hard to pin down but Ilene's comment about wanting to be taken struck a chord. For me I want to present as much as a woman as possible and deep down that includes wanting to be taken. Mind you I have no desire to sleep with a man and am incredibly turned off by let's say gay porn. But....when I am en femme I love the fantasy of catching a man's eye and being wanted. I think that comes with the territory of wanting to dress and be a woman....for me that includes the fantasies that come with it.
I dressed as a child, long before I knew what sexuality was. During my puberty years, however, I did find it more exciting to be wearing ladies undies and things instead of guy undies. I suppose I'm one of those who would say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, as I've always been fascinated with women and all things to do with them, but admittedly, I certainly have a lingerie and panties fetish that is incurable. Whether my wife is wearing them or I'm wearing them, or we're both wearing them, yes, things are much more exciting and I'm much more in tune with "getting busy."
That doesn't mean every time I get the occasion to dress I am aroused, far from it. I am underdressed most of the time and I don't walk around constantly aroused or going crazy. It definitely does enhance the moments though, as when I'm in normal guy undies and guy clothes, as others have said, I feel about as "sexy" as a burlap pillow.
What really got me was learning to appreciate fashion. I can look at great fashion all day long!
Me, I started dressing as soon as I learned that there were boys and girls. I've always self identified as a girl, though due to the times I grew up in I never told anyone about it. Initially I didn't know about TS issues, they just didn't feature in the mainstream media and so I learned to hide it. I would dress whenever I could, there was nothing sexual in it for me, only fulfilling my need to identify in some way as being a girl. My dressing started at 4 years old, well before I could know of anything sexual and continued ever since, now over 50 years, so the sexual things was never there for me. I suppose the best way that I can describe it, is that I have a need to be female and I find this need through dressing as a female, but in dressing I don't change character, I stay as me. I don't feel the need to wear make-up or present in a more feminine way. I think this is because I identify myself as female and all I'm doing is wearing the clothes which are appropriate for me to wear. I know that to the world outside I an just a man in a dress but that doesn't matter, it' what's inside me that counts, it's that which makes me, me. Over the years I have accepted that I am as I am and I have no wish to change anything as I am in a happy, accepting relationship and can live as I want. However, if I were 4 years old now, I would definitely want to transition and do so at a very young age. So, to sum up, dressing for me isn't sexual, I don't dress to impress, I dress to allow me to be me.
I totally agree with the fluid thing. I appreciate nice looking women, and when I see someone really pretty I have two trains of thought; on the surface it's "what would it be like to be with her" (as in dating, not necessarily having sex), on another level is it "what would it be like to be her," the second is the one that attracts me more.
As for being attracted to men, as a guy absolutely not, but as Brandi, I have a particular type of man that I like, and when I see see that type of man my thought process is "Yea, Brandi would definitely go for him."
In my current situation I would never sleep with anyone (male or female) right now other then my wife, I feel bad enough about what I am doing to her as a crossdresser even if she doesn't know. It sucks that what makes me happiest wracks me with guilt...
But, if things were different, I would be en femme every waking moment (and sleeping too) and would definitely start looking into transitioning.
I started trying on my mothers clothes around 8 or 9 years old out of curiosity there was nothing sexual about it.
As I got older and entering puberty I just thought women looked cool and beautiful and I wanted that for myself, which has never changed 30+ years later. As I got older I would imagine myself as one of the fashion or bikini models in the high fashion magazines we had at home. In my teens and 20s I dreamed of being a couture model or fantasied of being the centerfold, being the object of desire.
I was never attracted to guys, only girls, but over the years I realized I was not attracted to girls in the same way as my friends were. I didnt want to "get" the girl I wanted be "with" the girl. Not surprisingly this does not always appeal to many women. I never was attracted to guys and for the most part they never seemed attracted to me. However, I really liked aggressive women, who are very hard to find. I loved being desired, being "taken" or sharing, but not generally being some kind of alpha aggressor type, except on rare occasion. Lately I find myself imagining being with a masculine man, as a woman, but in reality men still are a turn off for me.
Exactly this Brandi (the bolded above). When I see a woman I am attracted to I now have that switch that says “what would it be like to be her and have someone be attracted to you and have them pursue you. And what would it be like to surrender to him and have him take you and make love to you.”I totally agree with the fluid thing. I appreciate nice looking women, and when I see someone really pretty I have two trains of thought; on the surface it's "what would it be like to be with her" (as in dating, not necessarily having sex), on another level is it "what would it be like to be her," the second is the one that attracts me more.
As for being attracted to men, as a guy absolutely not, but as Brandi, I have a particular type of man that I like, and when I see see that type of man my thought process is "Yea, Brandi would definitely go for him."
In my current situation I would never sleep with anyone (male or female) right now other then my wife, I feel bad enough about what I am doing to her as a crossdresser even if she doesn't know. It sucks that what makes me happiest wracks me with guilt...
But, if things were different, I would be en femme every waking moment (and sleeping too
It takes a pretty high acceptance level of where you are at in this journey to come to terms with that thought process in my humble opinion.
I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song.
Rainer Maria Rilke
https://www.flickr.com/people/170325405@N05/
Like others I started CDing and fantasizing about being a girl when I was four or five. But unlike others I'm willing to admit that it was erotic even then. I remember having an intense infatuation with Annette Funicello after seeing her on re-runs of the Mickey Mouse Club on TV. I didn't know anything about sex but I knew I "liked" girls and Annette specifically and I didn't like boys in the same way. I also liked the idea of being a girl and the feelings i got from CDing and fantasizing about being a girl were very similar to my attraction to Annette. It was only when I reached puberty that I could recognize that these feelings were sexual. This strange sexuality caused me a lot of grief over the years because I couldn't understand it and thought it meant something like that I was gay or transgender and I therefor tried (unsuccessfully) to suppress it. What made it even more confusing was that when I finally surrendered and tried to embrace my gayness and/or transness I found it wasn't that either. I eventually discovered that what turned me on was associating to symbols of emasculation, probably as a result of childhood emasculation trauma, where being a sexually submissive ultra feminine female is just about as emasculated as you can get. Oh well! It's a stupid fetish but relatively harmless as long as I don't start believing it's anything more than that.
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