I thought it might be useful to try to discuss the evolution of a variety of sexual feelings with respect to crossdressing.

I started out at age 4 as a crossdresser before i understood sex as something with others. I enjoyed the sexual arousal in the smooth front of my sister's plain cotton panties, compared tto the ribs of the Y front tighty whities I was issued.

As a 7 yr old I was more interested in the world of girls and wearing their clothes, but it wasn't sexual at all.

At puberty I refound sexual arousal and babydoll pjs went together well. I tried to figure out what made skirts fun for girls if they didn't have an erection, and began to enjoy the swish on my thighs and begin to notice a larger variety of clothes. I began to feel the sexual tension and wish I could be on their side of the equation.

As a 15-60 something I would say it looked more like a sexual fetish, but the details in hindsight tell more. I would find some piece or two of sexy lingerie and wear it. I would feel at peace, but needed a way to do something exciting or active or somehow engage with it. I could enjoy the arousal, and the simple unaroused comfort, and I didn't want to take it off, but it didn't work in my life as a man, so I needed a way to end the connection and hang up the call, so to speak. Orgasm worked, and I could find relief and forget about it for a bit.

Then I retired and became an empty nester. I still wanted to wear women's clothes, and not just exotic lingerie. I wanted the simple nice filmy blouse and skirt, or even just a colorful garden party dress over the knee and swirling around. Shorts and halter top. Swimsuits! I'm on a voyage of discovery, catching up on all the clothes I never got to wear.

The variety and beauty and style are my playground. I want to go out and share my style with others. It isn't about sex as orgasm, it is about sex, or more accurately, gender, as femininity. The background is the male/female reproductive sexual tension and interplay, but it is not the main point.

After more hours in the dress, I might feel none of that either- just hungry or sleepy or bored, or sweaty, and my clothes are just clothes. I don't like that, but clothes need to recede from focus so I can pay attention to anything else. Then they are more of a uniform- check ourselves in the mirror and then forget about it.

Looking back, I am now convinced that acute sexuality with arousal and orgasm was never the point. The simple sensual pleasure of a dress is enough, and the feeling of being identified as a woman, or at least a feminine member of society. Sexual play can involve clothes, and clothes can hint at sexual interest or readiness. Sexuality can be part of cross-dressing alone without it degrading the validity of our desire. It can be part of sex with others, though I found it kind of becomes irrelevant quickly if we are not objectifying each other!

And at any age sex as an issue can also recede naturally and not be part of fully enjoying crossdressing at all!

My post is to start a discussion that takes the guilt out of our sexual dreams.