So, lately, i have been haveing a desire to go out. The problem is that im very introverted with an extreme case of social anxiety disorder. I have also dealt with so much rejection of my feminine desires in my life that fear and guilt get in my way as well. Not passing or having someone else with me are also a factor. For those who understand social anxiety, whay are some ways to overcome this?
A great first step would be driving in your car... have you done that? If not, go get your windows tinted and take a couple hour drive to a park or something... even if you just turn around and go home. You'll think people are looking at you, but honestly how many people can you look at for more than a brief moment while driving? Once you can do that, then eventually hit a drive through etc, etc.... (full disclosure that I have not done more than this yet myself really!)
Just start out with short times out, after you start having confidence it would be easier I would guess. This is coming from a member not out and about, but if I were going to that's how I would approach it.
I have the same desire and having been thinking about it. The car is of course a great idea, trying to find another CD or someone to be with you is great too. One thing I've been doing is when I'm out I look at people, check out their shapes, clothes, faces and hair. If you start really looking at people you may realize that you wouldn't stand out that much. I have been out in the car en femme and no one noticed, but I've yet to really go anywhere yet. A drive through is a great idea. Best of luck!
Taking a drive is a good way to jump that first hurdle.
Nobody gives more than a quick glance so its a really safe way to step out for the first time.
Saying you are introverted is just an excuse when you get right down to it.
Now I'm not saying social anxiety disorder isn't a real thing because it is but there are times you have to test yourself.
Testing yourself is just the beginning of getting over the anxiety issues.
We all have anxieties over certain things but facing them is what we have to do everyday.
Not doing something we want to do so badly is just us giving up on ourselves.
Don't give up on yourself and get out there even if you have to take baby steps its at least progress.
It is hard to break the ice, but it is possible. Are there any groups that you can attend. No one will judge and I found that most if not all are supportive. Many will even let you dress there. Also many times after the meeting some head out for dinner or coffee.
After that you can decide what your next step is. First of all you'll see that the cosmos will not collapse on you.
I could never pass, I have a Mustache I have had for 40+ years.
I did meet a person who is either in Transition or about to be transition,
I wanted to ask her a thousand questions, but to embarrassed to do it.
Maybe the next time I run into her, I could talk to her.
She looks real good, but she admits to the fact that she was once a he.
O' How I wish i could go out like she does.
Rader
If you have social anxiety disorder, are you taking any Meds? Do they work? Do you have it under control normally? Have you talked to your psychiatrist about it?
Dressing at home does get really pointless and I agree a drive is a first step. I have been out only a hand full of times, but find it exhilarating, to stroll in the mall fully dressed in a skirt or dress with boobs and a wig. BTW, the mall's are all most deserted in the middle of the week and day, and those there are too busy shopping to pay you much notice. The other alternative is a park in the middle of a day, you can cruse through in the car and find a deserted area. I do this to take selfies with my tripod. In the end you really have to stop caring about what others thinking, as you will never really know what they are thinking. Once you re out a time or two you will love it.
IMG_20180706_141043117.jpg
Last edited by Shely; 07-08-2018 at 05:10 PM. Reason: added photo
https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/
Shely thanks for mentioning parks those are a great choice for somewhere to go.
Another tip don't go out late at night or after midnight thinking it will be safer because less people are out that might see you. That is dangerous because the bad people are out at that time of night.
You may not see them but you can bet they see you. Please be smart and don't end up as a statistic.
Middle of the day most anywhere is the best time for venturing out, much safer because there are people out.
Last edited by Tracii G; 07-08-2018 at 05:33 PM.
Ronnie. 36 and the rest
Haloween is coming up
Go to the city , go to the mall , and
just do it
JAS
Like many I took it in steps; a night time drive, a daytime drive, step out of the car, a quick walk, a longer walk. I'm not an introvert but I am quite shy so getting out there took a lot of effort. It can be done, Once you get over the initial hurdle it gets easier and easier.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
Thank you all for the tips. Ive always wanted to go to a park dressed. I think driving might be a good first step.
Micki, its been a long time since ive yalked with a shrink. I was diagnosed with s.a.d. when i was in my 20s. Large groups of people cause me to overevaluate my surroundings. Also causes me to gey disoriented, short of breath, and mild panic attacks. The larger the group, the worse it gets. Only medical remedy i use for it is herbal.
As for going out at night, i would only do that with others. I also practice aikido.
Last edited by Pat; 07-10-2018 at 09:29 AM. Reason: Rules say no discussion of guns/weapons. See "Rights of Content" in FAQ
Ronnie,
As others have said, a drive out is really the way to go. Top tip; if you're not practiced in wearing heels, don't try to drive in them. With practice it can be learned but for a first time, keep it low.
Even stopped at lights, people rarely look at the person next to them and for drivers going in the opposite direction they're to busy looking at the road to notice who's driving past them.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
Carrying concealed and akido works up to a point but consider the clothing you have on and if you are flexible enough in those clothes to use your self defense skills properly.
I studied Shaolin Karate most of my life and I have had to use it a few times enfemme but I wasn't in a skirt or dress.
Something to think about.
Good point tracii.
Other than dressing up for Halloween two or three times, I had never gone out by myself until about a year and a half ago. I took the plunge and decided to drive over to meet another CD. Maybe it's just me, but I find it incredibly sexy to drive wearing my 5" pumps. Anyway... it was night time and I was nervous so I wound up ringing the wrong doorbell. Thank god no one was home! It would have been embarrassing for me as well as my acquaintance as her house was only three doors down.
I don't mind living in a Man's world... as long as I can be a Woman in it
If you do go for a drive or get out of the car, it is a good idea to take a bag of guy clothes with you, in case of car trouble, or just needing to change back to guy mode.
My first time out was after dark. I drove to a safe part of town and did some walking. It was one of the most exhilarating things I have done in my life.
Whatever you choose to do, the key is to set your mind to it and do it, even if is just for a minute. You will see that you can survive to try it again, and each time it gets a little easier.
I wrote a blog article about doing things to overcome fear. You might find it useful. https://crossdresserreport.com/if-yo...nly-one-thing/
Sami
My new blog: The Crossdresser Report
https://crossdresserreport.com/
Driving is just an extension of your home - you're confined in a semi private space and usually don't have to interact with anyone. Same goes for walks alone in the park. It may help to get you over a psychological hump, but once there, many of us realize that it is actual interaction we're after. Let me also throw out my caution to avoid places where you might find yourself alone with bad people. Stick to more public places. Yes, I know. It may not feel that way but you are safer in the mall than the park.
And remember, age and venue appropriate attire, along with proper comportment (not appearing nervous or guilty) will make all the difference. I know, Ronnie, that with your condition, that may be asking a bit much. Going out with a friend can make all the difference. If you're in the PDX area, I can steer you to some resources that might provide just what you're looking for.
Simple, if you're a CD like me.
I don't go out alone to vanilla venues when I can avoid it. I don't pass and often get grief when out alone. So, I only go out with other dressers! Preferably to T friendly venues!
No stress, just good times and fun!
Find some local girls and meet them somewhere!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Ronnie, I am going to suggest a slightly different approach to the majority here. I suggest you find a CD/TG makeover place that has supervised outings. Not only is it a LOT more fun going out with someone, they will discuss the outing with you and take you to the most appropriate place that will help you deal with your anxiety. They will have had others like you and will be experienced and empathetic.
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
Ronnie, I belong to a meetup dot com group for crossdressers and others on the trans spectrum. Meetings are usually at local hotels with lots of other ladies.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I think the desire to go affects many
if not most Crossdressers . It in a way
sorts a way to test all of our work. and
planning that went into our feminine
presentation.
The almost funny thing that if we do a
Really good job, it may go Un noticed
as we sorta blend in or " pass"
Jean Ann
Following this, this really applies to my situation as well.
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