Claire,
There is never a right time to tell a partner , it is always a tough one to know how to face .
Cathreen ,
I don't agree with this attitude . I know you can throw examples of what women can throw back in a male partners face but it's damned hard for a man to come to terms with this in the first place , many boys/men have to wear a rigid straightjacket that most GGs don't experience , to breakout of that takes courage , most of us struggle when we realise we have a female trait which is only dealt with by CDing . To admit that to ourselves is hard enough , we have to come to terms with it before we can even attempt to tell our wives/ partners . To accuse us us witholding , lying and decietfulness is no help , we really don't have full control over such a powerful force .
I'm going to accept that as a woman I would be very annoyed if I called it a hobby , I've often said that I couldn't insult my wife and family with that reason . I'm sure none of us do it to intentionally upset our partners and yet it's often the message that comes across .
I believe what Claire needs to do now is let the dust settle and also go away and write the whole CDing history down , that way she can answer some of her own questions, maybe get a clearer insight into what she would truthfully like to do now and in the future. That gives the impession to her GF that she has taken the trouble to be more truthful , if the GF can't live with the reality of what had been written down then it's probably sensible to call it a day . What Claire mustn't do is start making promises she can't keep , she now has the chance to honest with herself as well as her GF .
CDing is for life , whether it ebbs and flows or is continuous as in my case , but it's not going away .