The CD treadmill

[sarah_hillcrest]

A post by courtney44 about feeling crazy when shopping for girl clothes and feeling alone got me thinking about something. I found myself online last night searching for wigs, because i feel like my cheap synthetic wig would be the next aspect of my cross dressing to improve. I found myself seriously considering buying this 300 dollar wig. Off course that's not that big of a deal for some of you, but I'm a pretty cheap person, I rarely spend money on anything. Lately I've been on a shopping spree, and while I've probably spent a couple hundred dollars on clothes and shoes in the last couple months that's well more then I've spent for male clothes in a very long time.

I started to feel like I was on a treadmill, a never ending impossible quest to create a female out of a lump of misshapen clay. Once I got a better wig, I'll need better shoes, better make, better, clothes, better jewelry, then a better body, a better face.

[t-girlxsophie]

You'll find once you get a really decent good quality wig,a lot of the other stuff will fall into place,visiting A wig salon recently, As soon as I saw myself in this particular hair I felt so much better and despite not being a big spender myself i had to have it and even shelling a good bit more than my usual (it was £100) didnt feel so painful.A professional wig shop is definately the way to go

Sophie

[susan54]

I have all the stuff I 'need' for dressing and a lot more. A friend who phoned me last night asked how me clearing my spare room was going as she wants to come and stay for a bit. Not only is the double wardrobe in that room crammed with dresses, there is a rail with about another 100, and probably 200 piled on the bed. And several crates of folded tops on the floor. I had planned to go out shopping for more dresses today at a shop some distance away but the phone call brought me to my senses. I have bought 12 dresses, 2 skirts, 2 blouses and a coat in the last month and now have 948 dresses. There are other things I actually need that I could buy with the money I would have spent today like a new oven and hob. It really is time to bring my shopping under control. It is not that I can't afford it - I can - but I have been getting my shopping priorities wrong and my friends deserve more priority too.

[deebra]

Sara I know what you mean, as a CD looking at all those pricey girl clothes that can make you look more classy and feminine and can also make you spent more than your limit. Look at the good feelings those pretty clothes bring. The electricity, excitement and happiness where they start to transform you into a sexy woman. Nothing wrong with making your self happy so go over the limit just a little bit but don't drown yourself in debt.

As far as the $300 wig, don't buy it; go to a wig shop and have the courage to say I would like to buy a female wig for myself, will you help me pick one out. They will not condemn you but make you feel comfortable and help you pick one that fits your face and skin tone and makes you look like the woman you want to look like (I have done this, much better than ordering on-line). They not only want to sell you a wig but want to make you happy so you'll come back and buy more; exactly like their women customers do.

[Ressie]

It's hard not to buy things on emotional impulse. After many mistakes I'm more careful about what to spend money on. But I'm sure I'll have more regrets in the future too.

My most expensive wig was $200 but it isn't my favorite. And I wouldn't spend that kind of money on a wig online. The only return policy I've seen is if you don't take it out of the package it can be returned! You can try them on at a wig salon before buying.

[Tracii G]

Deebra is right go to a wig shop and have a professional help you.
They have 100s of wigs to choose from and you may find the perfect wig for way less than $300.00.
You may like a certain style in a magazine or online but it may not frame your face right and not look all that good on you so by going to a pro they will find what looks the best on you and you don't waste money and time.
I'm super thrifty (cheap) myself so I get it.
Going to a wig shop and getting the right wig is the way to go.

[-Elle-]

If you’re spending that much, I’d vote for a professional wig shop. Halloween is just a few months away, you can tell them you’re getting ready early ... they won’t believe you, but it might make you feel better. Ask them how many men they’ve seen in the last month and the number might surprise you.

[Valentina_Rossi]

Hi!!!!

I mentioned in another thread that cultural wig shops are also a nice resource. For example, African, Portuguese or Latin American where in the culture women still use wigs regularly. Not only the owners tend to be friendly, but prices are lower if they cater to a working class clientele.

I have gotten most of my wigs from these type of shops, and spending about 70-90 ch (about the same on dollars).

Orthodox Jew shops have great, realistic wigs... But they tend to be pricey! These are also used by chemotherapy patients. I have a short blond one like that, and you do want to know how much it cost!

Also, I checked those CD vintage guides I have mentioned in another thread... it was the best/worst advice, since I read that my face shape allows any wig shape. The result: I now have about ten wigs! 😁😅

Happy hunting!!!

Love love
Val💋

[MonicaPVD]

Listen to Valentina. Go to a hair care store that caters to women of color. You can get very realistic synthetic wigs for $40-$70 and human hair wigs for $80-$100. Don't buy a wig online, ever. This is a purchase you must hold in your hands before buying or you will regret it. This I know from experience. There is no way to convey color, texture and form via pictures and descriptions. Also, don't worry about what the people there might think. It's 2018 and the only thing they care about is you having the $$$ to pay. No one cares. I have gone wig shopping during office hours wearing a nice tailored suit and tie, and had wonderful conversations with the store attendant.

[Stacy Darling]

I'd prefer to think of it more like " A walk in the park on a bright and sunny day" Sarah! Treadmills are boring!
It's just that the skirt may not be just right for the "look" and the hair is getting tangled with the breeze!

I believe that the walk which you are on will slow once you find the "Sarah Look!", so look at the big picture.

Barbie!

[Beverley Sims]

Do what I did, buy cheaper but good quality items and improve them as you progress.

Forget the treadmill effect.

[IleneD]

Sarah (love that name)....

One thing I recognized early in my revived passion for women's clothing was the potential to spend a lot of silly money. Women's things, new items off the rack or web, are expensive and deliberately overpriced. I committed to keep costs under control.

There are many ways to scrimp and save $$$ on a crossdressing life, but your wig should not be one of them. You can purchase clothes at thrift shops (my favorite place, and the fashion selection is amazing), or on clearance sale. But the one femme item that should be a quality item is your wig.

I can't imagine paying anything less than $300 for a quality wig; and those are synthetics. The human hair wigs on display at my wig shop(s) are priced in the thousands of dollars; many $2000-3000 or more. One of my wiggers offered me a long real human hair wig for $700 and I nearly jumped all over it but didn't have the $$ to spare at the time. It was not completely the right color but real hair can be dyed/tinted and the wig restyled... but the price was good in relation to what I've seen for store prices.

Find a wig shop (or two). Even if you enter in Guy Mode, the shops in my experience are supportive and respectful. THEY'VE SEEN PEOPLE LIKE US BEFORE ! They are not about to insult or chase away a part of their customer base. In fact, they will fawn all over you; and never fear about going in to shop En Femme. It actually helps frame and fit your wig better. Go ahead and scout out the place in guy mode, then return confidently dressed. I guarantee you will love it.
Most of all they have the professional expertise to find a wig to fit your face; the right colors; styling the wig as required and servicing your hairpiece. My favorite shop (Hana) ordered a wig for me based on a description I provided. She nailed it and when the new wig arrived it was better than perfect. The point is that even if your shop doesn't have one in the shop, they can get what you want.

One other nice thing that can happen by going to your retail wig shop is exposure to other CD culture and events. Hana, my wigger , is super. She sponsors transgender support events at her store and elsewhere. She is active with the TG community here, and in the next year is sponsoring a transgender fashion show. [She asked me to be a model.] There's other ways to enrich your CD experience at the Wig Shop than just hair.

Don't worry too much that splurging on a wig will set off an avalanche of CD spending. You should be able to mitigate clothing and accessory spending just by being smart and thrifty. And it's not like you're suddenly going to go off on a wig spree and end up with dozens of expensive wigs. You only need one..... or two;.... maybe 3..... OK, wigs are collectable too, but not like dresses. Don't fear to provide yourself the one staple that can make or break your look and CD experience; your wig.

Now..... if you have natural hair, and it's healthy and it grows, then do so. Maybe you don't have the personal space to let it grow, but I'd recommend going with your natural hair if you can wear it long all the time.

[docrobbysherry]

U have no idea, Sarah! I'm way past your treadmill. And, I would describe it more like falling down the Rabbit Hole! Because the possibilities r endless!

I DO have better figure and better faces! In fact, too many to count! But, I'm a CD, not a TS. I don't need or want one wig that defines me. I need 100's according to how I wish to present at the moment!

That's why I prefer to pay between $20 and $40 for my wigs. I'd rather have 10 different wigs than one every day one! Which is why I order my long cosplay and natural looking wigs from China! And, styled ones online from the USA!

The one in my avatar is from China. $25!

[sarah_hillcrest]

Thanks for all the advice, and I love reading all the posts. 948 dresses? Wow.

I've already talked with Tracii about wigs and actually just emailed a nearby wig salon. Ilene I just wanted to mention how much I appreciate your posts on here as well.

Finding an ethnic wig shop would probably require a long trip, not alot of diversity around here.

As far as clothes go I'm very thrifty, almost everything has been on clearance or thrift shops.

DocRob, I really appreciate your posts but I just want to say, and I mean no offense but you are exactly the opposite of what I want to be. You want to create this larger then life fantasy female and I just want to be the girl next door that wouldn't stand out in a crowd. Maybe one day I'll be more adventurous.

To further elaborate on the treadmill feeling I was talking about, I guess getting all introspective here, sorry. I think it's an excuse, as I want to experience presenting as a female in public, but I'm far to worried about the consequences. Maybe even if i acquired the perfect wig it would be something else.

Anyway, thanks again.

[Asew]

I am quite a frugal person. I am a little bit less cheap in my feminine clothes (thought I still prefer thrift stores and clearance). I definitely overthink more expensive purchases. But sometimes a more expensive purchase is worth it.

[Michaelasfun]

Well, one person’s treadmill is another person’s expensive hobby LOL

[Valentina_Rossi]

Hi Sarah!!!

You do not have Chicago close-by? I am sure that you could find what you need in Chinatown or in the old Latino part of it. Maybe now it is more dangerous than when I used to go...

Anyway.... what I wanted to say is that what you want to express is not necessarily and either/or proposition! You could be "the girl next door" AND some outrageous
character depending on your mood. As the stereotype goes, the female quality is fluidness but *you* get to decide how your exterior matches your internal state. Why not have anime-style wigs *and* some realistic ones?

I can only speak for myself... but if you have seen some of my image posts, I really like to play with hairstyle and eye color using contact lenses. In a sense, I converged to what I see in my mind's eye as my baseline look (the one in my avatar): green eyes and longish red-brown hair. I guess - sigh - a girl next door look (I always hated that term, but that is another story).

But I have also played at being brunette and blonde "twins" with a long bob hairstyle, or clothes and styles that would make me look like a reject from a 70s movie if I were to go out like that. I have also dressed like a French Maid, a schoolgirl, and worn a Catsuit. Lately I have thought of maybe trying a couple of super hero costumes, like Black Widow, Batgirl or Spider-Woman. I do not think I will do that, since I already think I am being ridiculous, but in the safety of home, why not?

What I mean is that you get to play with your female identity at home, outside or wherever... and these can be who you are, or some heightened aspect of yourself. It is an undiscovered country, where you get to explore!!

Love love,
Val

[jacques]

hello,
your question made me think - do I like shopping more than dressing?
luv J

[docrobbysherry]

Sarah, all u need is confidence. If a good wig or anything else, gives u that go for it!

I just returned from Chicago where I ran into a trans about 70 dressed like a 7 year old girl going to a birthday party! She and her daughter seemed quite comfortable out in public!

I suggest u find a trans friendly venue and meet some other T's until u r ok going out dressed!

[sarah_hillcrest]

Hi Sarah!!!

You do not have Chicago close-by?

Val

Thanks for the ideas, I do see an issue here. Don't get me wrong, girly costume dress up is something I really enjoy. What's on my mind more recently is my actual self in girl mode, like how would I present myself as a girl in day to day life.

And sadly CHicago is not close by, in fact it's over 5 hours away.

Sarah, all u need is confidence. If a good wig or anything else, gives u that go for it!

I just returned from Chicago where I ran into a trans about 70 dressed like a 7 year old girl going to a birthday party! She and her daughter seemed quite comfortable out in public!

I suggest u find a trans friendly venue and meet some other T's until u r ok going out dressed!

Thanks again, good advice, and something I'd love to do. Just an interesting thing about Illinois. Chicago is at one end, nothing is at the other, I live at the other. We are seperated by 6 hours of soybeans. LOL

[alwayshave]

Sarah, If it is a treadmill, it's the only exercise I'm getting. I will posit that I love shopping, the anticipation.

[Ressie]

Gee Sarah, you're really in a remote area. Try to find a CD support group somewhere that isn't too far away. You're probably gonna have to drive further than you want to.

[jennifer0918]

So true girlfriend I find myself in a similar dilemma always looking to improve my femme image, I guess

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Don't buy a wig online, ever.

Really? My 2 favourite wigs, one very long and blonde, the other very short and electric blue, cost about $20 each online. Are they top quality? - no. Do I love them passionately? - yes.

[Helen_Highwater]

Sarah,

I think it's called the pink mist. This dress/skirt/shoes/makeup/whatever will improve my look, I need it all! In truth there are a few things that will significantly improve your look and a wig suited to your facial structure has the real potential to do that. It's my belief that the skill is in knowing what's necessary and what's just needless padding.

All my wigs were bought online. Some were a real success, other far less so. It's on my bucket list, for this year, to go to a wig store and get professional advice. I'll have what may turn out to be a flexible budget but getting something like that right can move your presentation on significantly. It may be the law of diminishing returns so I'll try to balance the gains against the limited time Helen gets to go out and about. Well that's the plan.