In the head

[Helen_Highwater]

Felicia,

I can remember the time I stepped outside my own back door. It was dark and out of sight of any neighbours yet even taking a few tentative steps away from the door and just to stand there had my stomach in knots.

That was probably pushing 30 years ago. All I can say is don't over think it. As the title of the thread says, it's in the head. Overcome those voices in your head, take baby steps, that first drive dressed seems to be the most common one, and let it develop from there.

No-one here would be telling others it's ok to get out there if the reality was it was dangerous to do so. Just apply common sense.

[Teresa]

Felicia,
Maybe our stories could be a touch boring to some but to others we tell them to show it can happen , never say never ! I know it means exploring your inner depths to find what you really want from being dressed , understanding that yourself and accepting it is hard at first , you feel eveyone disaproves . It's not easy when your head is stuck in the pink cloud and you want more . to read our stories eventually shows there is a balance , it may look as if it's too far down your road , you just have to believe in yourself and it will happen be patient sometimes .

[Felicia M]

Awwww.........thanks Helen and Teresa! I am getting there. It is definitely now a goal of mine and beyond.

Reading these stories I know it is in my head and that barrier gets smaller by the day with these stories. I literally can see myself taking the next step out the door and going for a drive in my pickup. Or sunbathing for a few minutes on the back deck with a bikini on. So many more barriers to tear down but no going back now! Thx all!!

[Jess West]

"Those who have ventured out, what events gave you the greatest boost of confidence or diminished even banished your fears? "

Hmmm...

Confidence came from interactions with people, even loose interactions. I think for me, the best was after a trip to Macy's. I had worked through the first floor, and exited a different door, so had to walk maybe 200yds to the car. As I'm getting to the car, on a cold and blustery night, a woman is getting out of the car immediately next to me. Despite having just been in good lighting, a good number of people, walking around in a store... I thought: "this is it, she's going to bust me, good thing I'm about to drive away..." I suspect, presuming I was a woman, she felt ok talking to me - not sure if many women speak to random guys at night in a parking lot - and I tried to just act like this was 100% normal.

Did she know?

If so, she was totally cool with it.

If not, she was really nice, and that interaction gave me a lot of confidence and put a lot of my fear's to rest. At that time, pre kids, I was dressing up a lot more, even had (that was during I think) a few multi day stints of basically all waking hour's presenting as female, just to see how it was and if I could do it. So my "skill" was high as it's been.

Now, I dress far less frequently and dont feel as good about the appearance which makes me "want" to go out less when dressed, for me, it's less enjoyable. So it's just in house when done now.

What I'm getting at, is that it's interesting how frequency, helps confidence, which helps get out the door and into the world...

In the end, I think most people are to busy to be to worried, and accept you as the first thing they see. Most of the time...

PS -
Havn't posted in years, mostly lurked , this question just had me thinking and motivated!

[Kandi Robbins]

Become a student of human nature. People are principally interested in only one thing, themselves. That allows one to blend well.

Also, and I speak from rather significant personal experience (400+ times out in the past 4 years), experience in mainstream society not in CD group gatherings, in situations where I seek as much public interaction as possible, people are generally accepting. There are always exceptions to anything. I mean people, not organizations, not religions, not the media, actual one-on-one people. Never have I had a negative experience and I have interacted with thousands of people.

You have to be smart, be appropriate and be confident. You do that and you should have no issues. In a world where children get shot at school, there will always be risks in whatever you do. But if you follow these common sense rules, those risks are much less than you think.

I have never passed and I never will. I receive hugs all the time from total strangers, frequent complements, I've had meals purchased for me, many drinks, all because of who I am. Had I passed, none of this would have happened.

It is all in your head, it was in mine for almost 50 years.