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Thread: CD's, how can u be certain that's what u r!?

  1. #1
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Exclamation CD's, how can u be certain that's what u r!?

    After reading so many stories of CD's that eventually became TS's, I wondered how many here r convinced that being a crossdresser is as far as they'll ever go?

    I know I am. But, it took me over 15 years to figure that out. And, my journey is rather unique. As I didn't have any interest in dressing until age 50+. Then, had urges for real breasts and to become a female out of the blue!

    But, most of u have dealt with dressing urges from an early age. For those of that believe crossdressing is as far as u will go, what tipped u off? And, how can u be so sure?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #2
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    great question sherry, i am so lost as to whether i am a just a cd or deep down a non op transsexual woman?
    i will never really find out as i don't want to lose my dear and tolerant wife by doing something that may or
    may not solve the question.

  3. #3
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    It's really simple really. Since I have been going through this since I was 13/14, these questions already came up and have been answered to myself pretty much.

    There was a point where I did legitimately ask myself "does this mean i wanna be female? Am I trans?"

    I didn't have an answer at the time, but eventually i came to the conclusion that "No, I am not and don't want to".

    The first thing I did was ask myself if I hated being male and felt i was ment to be a girl. The answer was no.
    All things considered, i liked the male me and my male body. I just sometimes seeked a way to escape what I percieved to be the environment my "maleness" comes along with.

    I very much still see myself as a male with a female partner in the future, nothing else. And any scenarios that deviated from that were just that. Scenarios. I could never see myself legitimately fulfilling the female role in a relationship let alone all the time on tue daily, and all things considered, I would be remise to lose my "garden hose" if you catch my drift.

    It was kind of then that I came to the conclusion that my masculinity itself was somehow rooted in my dressing, as I concluded that "i would probably not even enjoy this if i wasn't a guy to begin with".

    A great deal of my dressing i feel is drivrn by my apprieciation of the female form and feminiity, maybe even a bit of jealousy I suppose.

    But none of that would have much meaning to me if I wasn't a heterosexual male.

    Oh dear I think I rambled a bit there

    To make a long story short, i know this is as far as it goes because much farther and it would probably ceasr to be enjoyable.

    Hope i didnt get to confusing or anything

  4. #4
    Member KatrinaK's Avatar
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    It’s really not a binary question- there is an entire spectrum between the two.

  5. #5
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    I've had the urge to dress for as long as I can remember. But I don't think I have gender dysphoria. The desire to become female is more of an inner fantasy thing.

    I see so many CD/TV's turning Trans later (One famous example being Eddie Izzard). I often wonder if that is where I'm eventually heading. Would I even be able to stop it if the urge came? It's kind of worrying.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Hi Doc,

    I have been questioning myself quite extensively as of late. I don't like to deal in absolutes but at this timeI believe I have answered the question for myself and I believe that I will remain "just a crossdresser" though believe me I have certainly had very strong feelings that I might be something more and, as I said I don't deal in absolutes so I won't rule anything out but I am very doubtful will pursue transition.

    Before I explain what has settled things in my mind let me first say that this is my experience and these are my thoughts and feelings and they are in no way meant to discount the experiences of those who have chosen to transition after all, if you transition is it really a choice?

    The more thought I gave to transition the more I thought that being female is a sum of life experiences that I just don't have. My dysphoria I not so strong as to be debilitating or causing me severe physical, emotional and mental stress. If I chose to transition I feel that in the end I might be disappointed that it wasn't the panacea I was expecting.

    So at this time I expect that I will remain a crossdresser and I will enjoy that experience.

    Elizabeth

  7. #7
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    Sherry,
    Lets face it we all start off as CDers it's an umbrella term , where we progress with it's needs is up to the individual , I don't believe any of us know exactly what level we've reached , it really is dependant on our circumstances . What sort of realtionship we are in , how much money we have to indulge ourselves , the list goes on , I still don't know all the answers at my age and I started at 8 years old . Why do so many of us have to seek counselling ? It's simply because we can't answer your basic question , if only it was that straightforward .

    I now realise that being caught up in labels serves very little purpose , if you're deep in the closet they have no value and if you're totally out no one you meet is really that bothered . They only mean something to another TG person and the counsellors who need to find the right box to fit us in .

  8. #8
    Loving my femme side tifftg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KatrinaK View Post
    It’s really not a binary question- there is an entire spectrum between the two.
    I think Katrina said it best--there is a wide spectrum, I have chosen to stop at a certain place along the way to keep my life in balance between work and family--I may keep inching along we shall see.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I think I havwe known this all along. I love my female side and all that goes along with this desire, but I alsolove my male side, that that goes along with this and the things I have accomplished in my male world. I doubt that many of these accomplishments could have happened as a female. This is a sad comment, but also true.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    I believe the most accurate answer is, "I don't know." Here's why.
    I have a few TS friends. One identified as a crossdresser for decades, then one day decided she was really TS. I paraphrase, but that is how she puts it. Another of those friends has known all her life.
    I have several CD friends. Most have been so all their lives and appear to have no inclination to change.
    Even accepting the purely anecdotal nature of these cases, it's impossible to draw any valid conclusion about causality. I suspect that there is something deeper, probably several deeper somethings, at play when it comes to gender identity. There is a somewhat compelling argument in the pattern of gender identity changing later in life. There are plenty of examples of that here. What does that mean? I don't know.

    There is some good news. There is at least some academic interest in understanding the CD population, a segment of the TG spectrum for which there is a surprising dearth of any rigorous study, even when compared against the research done on transsexuals. I and a few CD's in this area have been part of a pilot study being conducted by a university in the Houston area. Once validated, the tool will be distributed much more broadly, with the hope that from it will come a better understanding of Doc's rather incisive question, and at least some of the many other questions we have about ourselves.

  11. #11
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    None of us can really be certain of anything. If I worried about everything that might happen to me in the future I’d never get anything done today.

  12. #12
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    Sherry,

    I've been asking myself that kind of question all along this path. Is wearing panties enough for me? It was for a while but not for ever. Am I going to be satisfied dressing at home in the closet and never going outside? I was for a while, but not for ever. Will I ever need to do more than walk around after midnight? Sure, for a while. Now it's why isn't the dysphoria going away when I can dress for days at a time and I'm out to many in my family and I'm comfortable being in public? It seems if we pick an answer at any one time, when we look back we discover the goal posts have moved.

    None of my rock solid answers in the past on my gender have held for ever, so I've sort of stopped expecting them to.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  13. #13
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    A good question that I have asked myself many times over the years. The end answer to date is that I am a guy who whats to be a guy who likes to wear certain articles of women's clothing. Call it a fetish, or whatever you want, after the early years of dressing for sexual purposes, I now prefer to wear nylon lingerie all the time now and pantyhose when ever I can. Skirts are very comfortable while wearing pantyhose, there is just something about the snug fit of pantyhose and a skirt.
    There has been an urge to have breasts several times throughout my life, not totally sure why. Some time after the age of 50 I started to grow small breasts which hasn't bothered me in the least. I figured that if I lost weight they would disappear, and after recently losing 25 lbs. they are still the same size according to the measuring tape. I'm not sure whether this is a blessing or not. The "girls" will show some what, and because I shave and trim most of my body, it is obvious if I am not wearing a shirt.
    I have set my limits on how far I will go, and live comfortably within the limits.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  14. #14
    Once upon a time... Veronica Lacey's Avatar
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    Hey there docrobby…

    To look at the term "crossdresser" in the sense that Western society understands it then yes, a crossdresser is the furthest in this realm that I will ever be: a man who likes to wear the clothing and related items of women.

    The interest in female clothing began at around age 7, possibly earlier. The soft feel of my mother's clothes was the beginning for me. By my early teens my curiosity was on fire and by age 17 I had begun to consider purchasing my own lingerie. At that age, coincidentally, a male cousin who was 4 years older shared with me that he was gay and slowly introduced me to his world (via open discussion, not in deed.) By 19 I had joined him going to a few clubs he wanted me to see, some gay-friendly restaurants downtown and a couple of similar book stores. I listened to countless hours of my cousin expressing so many repressed feelings from his small-town upbringing, of what he felt, what he could not say, what he longed for, of his new freedom to be himself. I felt comfortable - and comforted - in this new subset of our society and learned a lot about myself.

    It was during these short years that I mentally explored his new expanding world which included homosexuality, bisexuality and transvestism, but never exploring them physically or sexually with anyone. Seeing and discussing - and private self-exploration - was plenty good enough for me to figure things out for my own self: I was a hetero-sexual male. I never told my cousin of my dressing desires and he never caught on (he would have definitely said something to me, to encourage me to come out.) This is when I learned that my love was more fetishist in nature as I gravitated towards silks and satins, stockings, heels as well as a love for more traditionally female colours and designs (love some floral patterns.) Sexual moments were prominent for years and have now subsided to comfortable levels with the reasoning that females wearing such clothing enjoy sexual moments then so can a man wearing similar attire, plain and simple. C'est la vie. Side note: my cousin learned that he was "just gay" and eventually married a man who likes to crossdress "a la drag" for performance purposes.

    As I admire how beautiful the female form is - and in the process the beauty of the male form - my dressing desires apexed and concluded with wearing forms, clothing and some jewellery, a comfortable place that I have been ever since (now age 48.) Side note #2: for better and for worse wearing female heels has come naturally for me from the very first try; go figure? By the end of the 90's when the internet was really taking off the sites I viewed and the chats I shared solidified in my mind that it's ok to be who I am, that I did not seek any physical change towards being a female, that male/female sexual relations was the only way for me and that was where I would live for life. I met my wife, married, she knows of my journey and respects where I am today.

    I love having a male body even if the fantasy of experiencing female breasts and similar thoughts crosses my mind from time-to-time. I am happy as a male dressing occasionally as a female as it coincides with my personality, a comfortable duality of stereotypical male and female traits. I consider myself very fortunate for all the experiences that have helped guide me to knowing who I was, who I am.
    Last edited by Veronica Lacey; 08-04-2018 at 02:51 PM.

  15. #15
    Senior Member MargaretJ's Avatar
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    I have been crossdressing, off and on, since I was about 4, and it has always been about wearing womens clothing. I was born in the late 50's and grew up in an era when mens clothing was drab blacks and greys, whilst female clothing was always bright and colourful, (to me anyway), so I guess that's what I found so appealing about it at such an early age. It has only been the last 10 years or so, that I have been so committed to cross dressing and had the time to do it. For me it is a hobby, and always will be. I've never had the urge to change my gender.
    "She snuck up on me from behind. You'd think women would make more noise with those big high heels, but they don't, they've got this stealth thing going..."

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    This is the million dollar question isn't it? As of now there is no way I could ever fathom having SRS. I say that now but I think about Sarah Charles response and think back on my past I could have easily written.

    This is no way I could ever fathom buying or wearing panties.

    I once told a girl there is no way I could fathom wearing a bra.

    There is no way I'm going to out myself to my wife.

    There is no way I'm going to risk taking pictures of myself dressed.

    OK pictures are fine but there is no way I'm putting them online.

    OK, its no big deal to post online but there is no way I'm leaving my house.

    OK I've left my house but there is no way I'm going places dressed.

    That's about where I'm at now. LOL

  17. #17
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    After reading so many stories of CD's that eventually became TS's, I wondered how many here r convinced that being a crossdresser is as far as they'll ever go?
    I am one of those who can trace their attraction to dressing back to the single-digit age range. 10 years ago I was convinced CD was as far as I'd ever go. Turns out I was misinformed.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  18. #18
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    After 50 years of crossdressing I know how I feel and how I am always going to feel. I love wearing women's skirts and dresses and everything that goes with them. I hardy ever wear women's trousers. When I go out I add the make up and wig and I ACT as a woman but I never identify as one. I don't go out as much as I used to - I have achieved everything I want to in Susan mode I enjoy being a man and I particularly enjoy interacting with women as a man. I would never want to lose that. So I reckon I am as certain as I can be that it will never go further.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Susan Smokes's Avatar
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    For me , I can't be sure. I am happy right now just being a Crossdresser, but I can't predict the future. I was over 50 when I started dressing, so who knows where this could take me.

  20. #20
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    Some great replies and a great question. As for myself, I've enjoyed dressing as long as I remember. Like some of the others I always drew a line that I said I'd never cross, but I sure did. I think I'm at a point where I'm somewhere between a CD but not TS

  21. #21
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MargaretJ View Post
    I have been crossdressing, off and on, since I was about 4, and it has always been about wearing womens clothing. I was born in the late 50's and grew up in an era when mens clothing was drab blacks and greys, whilst female clothing was always bright and colourful, (to me anyway), so I guess that's what I found so appealing about it at such an early age. It has only been the last 10 years or so, that I have been so committed to cross dressing and had the time to do it. For me it is a hobby, and always will be. I've never had the urge to change my gender.
    Thanks for stating it so neatly. That's pretty much how I am.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Doc,
    I have been a crossdresser since my youth. My motive : I admire all women how they dress from head to heels.

    I always envy being in their clothes and how I would look. Crossdressing was a progression and still is. I only dressed at home with my wife and no where else unless in the back yard.

    I am glad now because I spend the whole day along side of mostly young and mid aged girls and its satisfying. I use them as a dressing trend to purchase some of the same clothing, and fetish that I'm one of them.


    Fantasy plays a big part of my crossdressing venture. Like most said, they are millions of different individual pattern of CD'er

    At a certain age, we tend to continue in the same path we enjoyed.

    Rayleen
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

  23. #23
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    Meh... I gave up trying to label myself a long time ago, so I call myself a crossdresser for lack of a better term. Although I am probably trans, I did not have the resources when I was young to explore my options and now I have no real desire to transition, as at my age I do not believe the results would worth be the effort.

    If I were 23 instead of 53 today I would probably be in or would have already transitioned.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 08-04-2018 at 05:37 PM.

  24. #24
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Charlotte Jones. Your story is a like like mine. A s musch as the fantasy to be a lady, married to a man, seems romantic, and sexy, and fun, the reality would be far different most of the time. It would get old fairly quickly, and all kinds of troubles i cannot even imagine. Sometimes, i am very glad to be a man, in spite of the strong desire to dress and look like the attractive lady i could have been,or wanted to have. i am single too, and may never date or marry agian, as i am 64 now, and an odd fellow few women would want, once they got to know me well.

  25. #25
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Doc for me it is just for the enjoyment of feeling the smooth clothing and dressing is kind of like many other things I enjoy in that I look at it like a hobby that I enjoy. I'm way too old to go any farther than just getting dressed up at home and dance in my heels like no one is watching because they won't ever see me out and about. I'll admit I sometimes think it would be fun to be around other CDs but it's more of just a fantasy at this time. Being nearly 70 it will probably never happen either. I did start doing this at a very early age though.

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