Out with the wife, gone wrong..

[Bobbi46]

rachel, It will happen again, that is going out with your wife, just be patient maybe pick a different sort of place to go to, sure I beleive there will be another time, you must tell us all about it.

[mykell]

she felt like she was being judged and was pacing around the till area where others were getting takeout like a wild lioness caught in a cage.

love this description, can even relate to it when i first ventured out into the wilds....any support setting or trans conference would be a friendlier venue for her, especially if other mates were there to hang with her....

[nikkiwindsor]

Rachel, really don't have much to add other than to say it's wonderful that you have such a supportive & understanding wife. Mine is coming around very slowly... Nikki

[helicd]

Kudos to you for not pushing the issue and for putting your wife first and foremost!

Thanks girls, we had a discussion about it and she says if there are lots of cross dressers, in a friendly place, she won't feel like everyone is watching her.
It been 5 years between our first outing and our 2nd (last week), I'm not in any hurry to push for a 3rd outing.

[Beverley Sims]

I admire your wife, for all the options she has offered you, and I think you are tackling it well.

Yes there are a lot of conservative spots all around the country.

That is why I have been apprehensive in my dressing.

Even east of the Airport in Wellington they are not all that accepting and they are in the movie game.

[Mandy T]

My wife knows and supports Mandy. However I can say that I am thinking about her more while we are out than I am of myself. I never want her to feel uneasy at any level. Just because she is understanding doesn't mean that I should forget about her feelings. Staying aware of the others feeling is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship with our spouse.

Just my 2 cents

Mandy

[kimdl93]

Even for ourselves alone, those steps out the door can be difficult...and few of us succeed in overcoming the fear of being judged...not just seen but in some way diminished in the assessment of others. It’s not surprising that a significant other might experience similar emotions.

I credit both of you for venturing out together. Perhaps the lesson learned might be to take it slow, ease into it, and (just as we each must) learn not to judge ourselves by our fear of what others MIGHT be thinking.

[aLEXisREX]

Maybe it was just the town or people who made her uncomfortable? Sometimes it's the small things that freak people out. The out of context things like the person at the register reminds you of a person in an article you read and got upset over, and that makes your mind race. I dont know but Im glad you both did that and I hope you both talk about doing it again, in time. If I noticed a wife out with a CD husband I would seriously give them both a high five.

[Jenny22]

Sorry you and she didn't have a better time. Question ... In NZ, can you really drive for 4 hours without ending up in an ocean?(grin)

[Sandra_Dodds]

Rachel, your wife is to be applauded and appreciated for her willingness to try and I'm sorry that people made her feel uncomfortable.

I've always admired people like Goths and others with an 'out there' dress sense who really don't give a toss what others think or if they stare; their confidence in themselves is incredible. If we and our wives could have that same level of indifference, we'd be more open in our dressing but I acknowledge that's a lot easier said than done.

[Jessicajane]

Your wife just sounds a bit overwhelmed...maybe that’s it as far as your going out together maybe not ....I read the idea of going to to a TG friendly place and that may help...but how is your wife around other trans women..?
Good on her for giving it a go...but just like when we first venture out it is a scary experience even if that fear is just in our minds. Xx