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Thread: Its really not fair

  1. #1
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Its really not fair

    My office is in a small building with a number of companies in various industries mostly professionals. I would estimate there are maybe 50 men and 30 women in the building. There is a vast range of ages from early 20s to 70s...

    Last week one of the women was wearing what I would describe as a Pirate shirt (Any Seinfeld fans will know exactly what I mean) her shirt was white and had big puffy sleeves with white pearls sewn in rows along her upper arms. I know it sounds dreadful but it was actually quite nice.

    A different day and a different woman was wearing a knee length tightish black skirt that had what I could only describe as bands of silver glitter sown into the material.

    A third woman was in a very conservative work suit black jacket, white shirt and black below the knee skirt but she had the most amazing leopard skin ankle boots.

    All 3 women were middle aged..

    This really got me thinking just how unfair it is... how women can be creative in their clothes and accessories but we men have to choose between blue black and white shirts, pants and zzzzzzzzzz
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  2. #2
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    Becky,
    The only statement most guys can make is a change of tie if you still wear one . That was one reason why I didn't mind wearing one some ties can be a talking point , I admit still not the same as being able to make a complete fashion statement . The real unfairness is you can't dress for work and join them , we all know what it's like to sit at a desk and in nice fitting clothes just doing you're normal jobs . At some point in the day someone will say you look great and then a conversation will continue about clothes and where they were bought and what accessories they could have worn instead .

    I know you can get speciality ties made with messages worked into them , my father in law had a couple with explicit ones which weren't obvious until turned on their side , maybe you could get one done saying , " I'm really Becky underneath !"

  3. #3
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Teresa, I have worn a tie to work maybe 6 times in the past 4 years.. so I cant even find a splash of colour there
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  4. #4
    Member Kiwi Primrose's Avatar
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    That variation of clothing plus the variety of fabrics ìs what drew me to feminine attire many years ago.I always resented having to conform to the male stereo-type.

  5. #5
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    I had to wear a shirt and tie every day for years at a previous job, I didn't even get much choice with the ties (various shades of blue, that was it) yet all the women had no restrictions at all (within reason) of what they wore. So unfair.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  6. #6
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    If you can’t find color and variety in men’s clothing, that is because you aren’t looking. This past summer, men’s dress shirts came in a rainbow of colors and were displayed in a chain department store. There is a guy where I worked that wore gorgeous embroidered shirts. He said he bought them online. Some men are very creative with their clothes and it shows that they care about what they wear.

    I realize that those on this forum gravitate toward clothing from the women’s department but before you jump on the bandwagon bashing men’s choice in clothing, take a look at what is available for men currently.
    Last edited by char GG; 08-06-2018 at 03:58 AM.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    That's why I choose to dress like any other woman. :-)

    Okay, it is hard to do it at work.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Becky, it is unfair. However, I have pink and lavender dress shirts that I wear to the Office several times a week. Though the are all the same button down dress shirts. Pants are very boring.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    There are some variations in menus clothes and, as one poster pointed out, you can be creative. However women's clothing offers far more options. Since I retired I can count on one hand the number of times I have worn a suit/dress shirt/tie. I always envied the women who could dress in a multitude of styles. I would have loved to wear leggings of various colors to work; as well as other types of dress. But gender dressing rules are still very much ingrained in our workplace environment.

  10. #10
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    Yeah, but it makes getting dolled up all the sweeter for you :-) Hugs, Michelle

  11. #11
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    Becky, please be patient and have confidence that things will change for you, if not in one way, then perhaps another. As society adjusts to change, most companies are so fearful of gender discrimination lawsuits that they totally relax their dress codes. Also, as society changes, so will the acceptance of CD's and transgender people in the workplace. And, lastly, if all of this doesn't happen fast enough, there are always other jobs to mov to or perhaps retirement might be looming on the horizon.

    Hang in there and be patient.

    That said, adding to the frustration, I'm sure, is the realization of the myriad of feminine dressing possibilities, once you go shopping. Don't let that get you down!

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Dorit's Avatar
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    Lets face it, unlike birds, in Western culture it is the female that get to decorate herself and not the male. Maybe you should consider transitioning! LOL

  13. #13
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Char, I agree. Men may have to just be more creative and resourceful, but we still have far fewer choices. Colors yes, though. We can do better with color. But, still, shirt and pants and coat. However, i like wearing loud plaid sportcoats! Guys used to wear spats and black and white shoes way back when! I do not mind dressing up nice in nice guy clothes, and am not ashamed to say so. I can look good as a guy, or a gal.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 08-06-2018 at 09:36 AM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  14. #14
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    Before I retired I worked in an office setting. I wore a dress shirt and slacks and tie. True, the color of the pants did not change very much; black, grey and brown. It was a rarity for me to wear a white dress shirt. My closet was full of solid color dress shirts. I had a lot of colorful ties that expressed my feelings when I awoke. In some respects I am drawn to women's dresses because of artistic qualities; floral prints, etc. Men's wear does not have to be boring. As a retiree my male garb is rather expressive. Nothing dull about my choice of graphic tee shirts which is my normal attire.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Try Klein Epstein and Parker. Decidedly less boring men’s suits.

  16. #16
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    Becky so true, why is it women can wear anything including men's clothes and men are restricted to dark suits and neckties? Take me for example, I think some women's clothes look really nice on me, much better than men's. Why can't society accept this?????

  17. #17
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    This is why I love dressing I get to wear pretty things. Not out to the public but still can enjoy the colorful, soft, nylons and dresses in the comfort of my own home. I sometimes just hate men's clothing colors. The only time I can see why men's clothes are good is when I go to the farm. Boots, wranglers and long sleeves with a straw hat to cover the balding spots.

  18. #18
    Member biancabellelover's Avatar
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    Back in the day when I was an office worker I was happy that I could dress simply. It saved me money (I’m a typical Australian tight-arse with money). I felt sorry for my female coworkers who had to wear a different outfit every day.

    Having said that, I had five suits, thirty work shirts, sixty ties, and over twenty sets of cuff-links and tie pins, so I’m not sure whether I was ahead or not there, LOL!

    Change careers to become a pilot: uniform is supplied, but is a short sleeve shirt with a tie (something I wouldn’t be seen dead in when I worked in IT.)

    Change careers again, and now it’s casual shirt and pants.

    In male mode I’m not jealous, and still prefer the simplicity of dressing male. In female mode I get envious.

    Michelle

  19. #19
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    There are definitely options for the male wardrobe, but if you look at a standard department clothing store you can easily see how the women clothes have so much more variety. Even my wife who basically wears t-shirts and leggings most of the time, there is so much variety in that simple look (t-shirts have different types of cuts and colors, leggings have variety in patterns and colors) whereas my male wardrobe is cargo shorts or jeans and t-shirts (all the t-shirts are cut the same, all the pants are solid color). Now that I wear skirts a lot, it adds so much variety even to those basic t-shirts since skirts have so much variety.

  20. #20
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Oh, I hear you. But to change all that someone needs to be out in front taking those first steps showing the real world that we are just like them but like to dress as the opposite sex. One, a few or many, but staying home and whining seems so weak to me. Now the whining once in a great while to someone else is OK, but here on this site, that feeling comes up so often that it becomes whining to some of us here that have read it all. I know it is hard, and I did it for 10 years, not staying home, but going out into the city 2-3 times a week. However, that was far enough away from my safe zone that when out I just didn't really care. Closer to home was another story. I would sneak in and out of the house completely or partially dressed depending whether me son was home or not.

    So, when in the closet, no matter the size and mine had a secret door into the city and freedom, we just have to make do, sneak around or not and enjoy what we have, even if it is only our good health and family. I did it until I couldn't do it more and came out to family, then friends and then everyday acquaintances and neighbors. I am now almost free like a bird, except for my daughter and grandson, people who matter in my life and have problems with the new me.

  21. #21
    Member Trione's Avatar
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    No it isn't fair. But since I retired many years ago I have only worn a tie twice, once when I married my second wife (DADT) and once at my grandsons wedding. Glad I can now wear whatever I want.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Becky Blue View Post
    This really got me thinking just how unfair it is... how women can be creative in their clothes and accessories but we men have to choose between blue black and white shirts, pants and zzzzzzzzzz
    You can play with patterns, textures and colours. There are plenty of men's apparel stores that offer this variety. Banana Republic, H&M, Uniqlo, and Zara are some good example. That said, women's fashion is much more varied.
    I love film, fitness, and fashion. Those are the keys to unlock my heart.

  23. #23
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    How many here would actually wear different styles and fabrics, bright or pastel colors in mens clothes?
    I would venture to say not many because you don't want to be perceived as gay at the office.
    To complain that its unfair seems a bit of a stretch because not many here would wear it anyway.
    Disclaimer: I was not referring to any certain members of the forum so please don't get mad.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 08-07-2018 at 12:23 AM.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Its true mens fashion is down right boring I had to wear a tie at work and i was known for my flamboyant ties one was called ( by my collegues) my breakfast tie, it looked like a full English breakfast had been spilt down it! but that is far as one could go in my job but for sure the bounderies need to be pushed further as regards colours in mens clothing, not that I am greatly interested too much now, I am only too pleased with huge variety of styles and colours that we have in womens fashions, for example you only have to look at the bra websites and sometimes one is blinded by the huge number of different styles and colours.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  25. #25
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    The interesting thing is that about 9 comments above mention that men can have different colours or fabrics... I say meh, its a mens shirt cut in basically the exact style, it will have a collar and around 6 buttons it could be slim line or not... that does not compare to the myriad of shapes and designs of tops that a woman can wear it work. Never mind pants, shoes, accessories..
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

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