Does my mother know?

[TolerantCD]

When I was in puberty, I regret to say I wore my mother’s clothes more often than I feel comfortable admitting. I have the suspicion my mother has always known, but has just never confronted me about it. I don’t reallu know why not, either. She seems tolerant enough, and she even says she loves gay men because they’re usually very nice, have great taste in fashion and are very funny, not because she laughs at them, funny in a friendly way.

If she seems so open about gay men, I’m puzzled as to why she hasn’t told me she has always known and that it’s not big deal. I wouldn’t bet my life on it, but there’s even a chance she could buy me women’s clothes if she knew.

My sixth sense tells me she’s always suspected, since she’s smart and her female intuition has always been unexplainable powerful.

Do you think mothers normally know? I certainly think so, no one knows us like our mothers do.

[VS Fan]

My guess is that if she does know, she'd be worried about your feelings... as in she'd be worried you'd be terribly embarrassed and she figures "why do that to you"... ?

[TolerantCD]

Perhaps that could be the case, yes. But couldn’t she just surf the internet or talk to a psychologist of someone else abou the best way to tell me, or even test me by causally bringing out topics about cross dressing to see how I react? I’ve made my tolerant and liberal views about gay people known to her, so I think she should know by now I have no issue with “non-normal” people I guess is the word? I’m “non-normal” so it’s not an insult at all.

So far she hasn’t brought it up, so I’m either real dense, she doesn’t know (which I somehow doubt) or she just doesn’t want to bring it up at all.

If I knew she was going to be supportive of me and wouldn’t mind from the first moment I would tell her right now, and then give her some money and send her pictures of clothing i’d love to own and beg her to go to yeh shop for me. But I have no guarantees of that happening. Damn uncertainty!!

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Oh no I’m not comfortable at all. I haven’t told anyone and I don’t have the courage to do so. I would only consider telling my mother at the moment, and even her I can’t tell how she’ll react. So that’s a big no no for me at the moment. But I would love it if she confronted me about it and let me know it was alright and that she’d support me in that and even let me wear those clothes at home in total liberty.

[char GG]

My guess would be that she knows but doesn’t want to shop for you😄

[TolerantCD]

Awww if that’s true than it’s a real shame. She’s already my hero but if she did that for me I’d melt.

It would save me trouble in the supply section too.

[Crissy 107]

There is a good chance your mother may know. If you feel comfortable with it why not open a conversation with her when the time is convenient to the both of you. Good luck and let us know how you do.
Crissy

[Beverley Sims]

It is time to broach the subject so as you can advance to the next stage.

[TolerantCD]

Out of the question. I don’t have the courage at all.

[Alice B]

Both my parents passed away well before I started dressing, but I am sure my mother woukd have been totaly OK with it. My father would have been another story

[JenniferMBlack]

She knows and is waiting for you to come tell her. That's what the professionals recommend these days so as not to embarrass the child. Go talk with her then go shopping.

[TolerantCD]

Nope, I can’t. At least not now. I can’t at all.

I’m a coward

[Aunt Kelly]

I understand. It's a big step, and one from which their is no coming back
If you don't mind my asking, how old are you? That might factor into what the best course of action might be.

[TolerantCD]

Hello. I’m in my twenties. I think I made a mistake when i put my year of birth, but I can’t find it so I can’t correcf it.

[ClosetED]

Based on her different behavior on leggings in the laundry, I am sure she knows and knows your weakness for (her) leggings.
You should buy your own and after wearing them, and not with any significant stains, put them in the laundry. From your description, it sounds like there is a common hamper and she may be the one to do most of the laundry. When she washes YOUR leggings and returns them to you, she will know you were adult enough to get your own and not hers, that you wore women's leggings (unless you got some men's version), and then you can see what she says. If she says nothing, then she is putting the ball back in your court. You could ask her opinion of your choice of leggings-were they stylish, a good buy, whatever. If she doesn't want to talk about it, she may mumble "they're okay" but if she would like to talk about the elephant in the room, she may ask "you did know they are women's leggings?" or "glad you finally got your own" or the stereotypical "are you gay?". So you don't have to be brave enough to ask, just to leave them in the common laundry.
But do NOT leave them with a body fluid stain.
Hugs, Ellen (father of 3 grown kids)

[marshalynn]

TolerantCD, when you are talking to your mother some time, ask her what she thinks about crossdressing in around about way. This will let you know how she feels. I waited 70 years to tell my mother, she was a little mad at me for not telling her sooner, so she could have helped me. It was the best thing that I ever did, we have good talks now about clothes and what ever female thing we wish. I wish, I would have told her earlier in my life, wasted a lot of time and feeling guilty about being transgendered. Marshalynn

[alwayshave]

Tolerant, my mother knows. We were out to dinner, her in her 80s me in my late 40s, she asks "do you still cross dress?" Me a little shocked, "yes." Then she starts to talk about something else. I know I should of pursued it, but it so came out of left field.

[LaurenS]

Tolerant, my mother knows. We were out to dinner, her in her 80s me in my late 40s, she asks "do you still cross dress?" Me a little shocked, "yes." Then she starts to talk about something else. I know I should of pursued it, but it so came out of left field.

That’s funny! Do you think she was suspicious and was looking for an admission, or she already knew and was just curious if you still crossdressed?

[Danielle_cder]

Oh yea my mom knew and still knows! She has always been great too me very loving caring accepting. For many many years my mom has come over for Halloween I dress up she will wear some type of costume (typically a witch lol I know how predictable) and we hang out hand out candy. It’s always a good time.

[AKADonna]

Tolerant, I agree with Marshalynn, you really need to find a roundabout way of opening a discussion about womens apparel or shoes, or commenting on a nother women's appearance . Something just to bridge the conversation into a casual remark about crossdressing to guage how she feels.

When I was a teen and sneaking Mom's bras from her drawer occasionaly, she bought a new bra in my size, put it under my pillow with a note "Now you have your own bra, quit messing with mine". Not another word was said over the next 50 years about my feminine side, and now I only wish that I had opened up to her many years ago, before her death. Don't miss the chance with your Mom, Tolerant!

[kayegirl]

Your mother knows, mums know everything, but she is probably like my mother was. She feels that this is your secret, and that it is down to you to open up. The other thing for me was that I never used any of my mother's clothes, had I done that then I am pretty certain that the muck would have hit the fan, big time. Thank goodness that I was able to borrow my sister's stuff.

[TolerantCD]

Oh boy your moms are all beautiful women. They’re my heroes, I wish my mom accepted it and confronted me about it to let me know it was OK. Talking to her about clothes would be the coolest ever, she could go to shops for me so that I don’t have to expose myself.

But I can’t tell her, I can’t hint at it. I realize I might regret it but I physically can’t. It’s just not in my DNA. I’m so sorry, you guys are the best, let’s hope my mom tells me she knows, she doesn’t care and that she’ll get me clothes, that would make so happy

[TolerantCD]

What I can do, is whenever she gets mad at me about something a little embarrassing is to just laugh it off and show her I don’t care, saying something like “we only live once anyway, you should just do what you like and have fun as much as you can.”

Hopefully she’ll get the hint that I want her to confront me about it, but only if she’s ok with it

[Micki_Finn]

My question is, why would you ever want your MOTHER to buy you clothes? Moms generally aren’t exactly fashion plates, especially for those of us a little older.

[Charlotte7]

Moms generally aren’t exactly fashion plates, especially for those of us a little older.

You've made remember something of my mother's. You have to remember that this was back in the late 70's and I would regularly put her clothes on, I don't think that she knew. Anyway, each evening when I got back from school, I would change out of my school uniform. This would be a favourite time for a quick spot of dressing, as sharing a smallish house with 4 other people, time alone was a bit of a premium, anyway, at these times, when I was getting changed, there wasn't any problem if I was caught in a state of partial undress. Anyway, back to my mother's skirt. It must have dated from the 50's (it'd be classic vintage now), it was essentially a grey and green check, quite heavy cotton (before man-made fibres), pleated, and lined, it came to just below my knees. It became a favourite of mine. So, yes, my mother had her moments when it came to fashion.

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not too sure I’ll ever have the courage or motivation to reveal this to my mother

I'd say don't then, but learn to not let it bother you.

[AKADonna]

I'd love to know both you and your Mom personally and then I bet I could find a way to let her know without embarrassing you. Perhaps you might have a common friend that could bridge that gap for you?