Right now I cross dress for sexual arousal, can I expect that to change as I grow old and start to really want to always dress in women clothes and even change my gender? Because that kind of scares me.
Right now I cross dress for sexual arousal, can I expect that to change as I grow old and start to really want to always dress in women clothes and even change my gender? Because that kind of scares me.
TolerantCD,
It might help to give us more details especially your age , I assume you are young so don't worry too much about the sexual content . CDing in general can be scary we never know what road we may take next but just accept for most of us it's for life , you have to come to terms with it and learn to deal with it . I hope the forum may give you some idea and help you along your journey . Not all our stories are the same but my CDing was very sexual and still is to some degree but I am glad I've moved on to enjoy dressing and going out and about.
Last edited by Teresa; 08-12-2018 at 11:21 AM.
Everybody's different but the only reason that I ever thought it was "more" than a fetishistic activity was that I was ashamed of my fetish and was desperately searching for some "legitimate" reasons to be a crossdresser. Well, it turns out that it's "just" a fetish and that's OK. It's not something I would have chosen but I can live with it and it can be a lot of fun. As I've gotten older and my libido has declined, I have less interest in CDing. YMMV.
The answer is “Maybe”. You know yourself better than any of us. Why should it scare you? If it’s something you end up wanting to do, then you’ll WANT to do it! You’re not scared of wanting to dress for “sexual arousal”. There are people who would say that makes you a bigger “freak” than trans women. It’s all relative.
Quit worrying about it
Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to.
What scares you about it?
I crossdressed well before I had a sexual thought. No doubt after puberty dressing was a big part of what turned me on. Now in my mid fifties, it can still get me aroused, but I don't dress foe sexual release.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
Tolerant,
You ask a question to which there are multiple possible answers. How you're CD'ing will evolve will be dependent upon many factors. The fact that your dressing currently pivots around a sexual element isn't unusual for someone starting out. What CAN happen, note can, is as over time you continue to dress you become more comfortable in just being in the clothes. Many have described how they spent time dressed and would at the end of it seek satisfaction. Almost a way of putting a full stop to a written passage.
That then in time morphs into the sexual element loosing it's significance and the dressing becomes the thing as folks grow ever more comfortable with the person they are. A very few will go on to consider transition finally taking that step. The vast majority stop way short of that, some never leaving their 4 walls, others actively going out and about fully enfemme.
The above is just one of the paths possible. I'm afraid for you it's a case of wait and see. Time will tell.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
I guess you have a point. By the time I’m 50 or so I hope attitudes are so liberal no one cares anymore.Originally Posted by Micki_Finn
Love your avatar by the way
Thank you all. Guess patience is the name of the game in this one
It might change. It might not. As far as I know, there is no reliable indicator to show when fetish dressing will be the "gateway drug" to becoming a transsexual. So don't worry about it. If that's too big an ask, you might want to talk to a counselor. Whatever you learn, you will be better for knowing it.
You can expect all these in a differing form of intensity.
You will not necessarily want to dress 24/7 either.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Hello Tolerant, this might happen and that might happen, but none of it will happen without you wanting it to. Remember too, what scares you now, might just thrill you then. But, it could all turn out very differently instead.
I don't think anyone knows whats gonna happen , how we get there is the problem , hopefully it'll be an enjoyable and satisfying trip
When I was first introduced to my feminine side about 12-13 years ago, I had no idea that my once Alpha Male asshole boss persona would give way to a such a lovely, feminine person. I still don't dress as often as I like for lots of family reasons, but I am told that I am and much softer, more gentle person than I was before! Just continue the journey and see where it takes you!
Everyone has a different story and different experiences. I'm 53 years old and I have found that my desire to dress has greatly intensified in recent years and thoughts of transition have run through my mind while the sexual aspects of dressing are pretty much non existent. It sounds like you fear ending up where I am right now but that's just my experience and yours may be completely different. Also keep in mind that I'm quite happy being where I am now and even if you do end up in the same place down the road you may be happy there too.
Yes, no... Maybe? Us not being you can't really answer that question.
But chances are that if you are just dressing for sexual arousal eventually you may find some other fetish that trips your trigger as the say.
Many of the members of this site associated intense sexual arousal with their early forays into cross dressing. It is OK and nothing to worry about. Where you go from here will be hard to predict. Why not just build a simple wardrobe of women's clothing and experiment with how you feel. Perhaps you should explore a way to meet with cross dressers in your area. There are many ways to contact them. Just go back to some of the earlier posts on this site to see. There is also a place here where you can arrange meet ups.
The point of doing that would be to have others to talk to and reassure yourself that what you are doing and experiencing is not unusual.
Your cross dressing journey will be unique to you and probably will not end up with you wanting to become transgender. Whatever the outcome, it is not something to be fearful about but something to enjoy and celebrate.
65 yo here and very addicted to dressing and jerking. It's heavenly! YMMV
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
After I came out to my wife about my love for all things feminine she to a certain extent accepted it. She did however a few weeks later told me I was a much nicer gentler person and much calmer.
Crissy
Hi Tolerant,
You've been given a lot of great advice here. I can only add that I remember looking into my crystal ball and very much realizing that at this rate I could end up liking lots of things and end up getting way deeper than I could want to. I remember how scary that thought was. Somehow, I just learned to do what many here have told you they did: relax, enjoy it, control it a bit and ease forward or stay doing what you are doing now. Bottom line, learn to find the line you are willing to tolerate (pun intended). For example, on one extreme is totally in the closet, in the middle you might be out to some, and keep life categorized.
Of course, to keep your life on the track you want, you will have to consider just how many physical aspects (Piercings, hair style, how much you shave, etcetera), and your use and control of media (Internet browsing, pictures of you, blogs/web sites you subscribe to) you control, and to be mindful that you don't make mistakes that lead to a wider outing of your activities, that place you somewhere you didn't want to be.
For this, you should also ponder what would happen if you were outted to a wider circle. These are not comfortable or pleasant thoughts, but I think it is good mental exercise and preparation, and it helps balance your prospective, and control you from doing something you might not want to do.
Whew, being a CD brings a lot of weight. I admire how some can be out to their spouses, family, or everyone. Perhaps they just had a little more drive for that in the lifestyle verses consequences equation? There is no one right way for us. There are lot's of right ways. Just relax and enjoy the positive sides of being a CD as much as possible and living a tranquil life as much as possible.
Laura
Last edited by laura.lapinski; 08-13-2018 at 12:22 PM.
TolerantCD, for what it's worth, I've found that since I've de-sexualized my dressing, my regular sex life has become much more healthy, enjoyable (and frankly reliable if you know what I mean.)
I don't presume to speak for everyone here, but there is a tendency for the sexual aspect of dressing to veer towards paraphilia (which is - and I'm simplifying- in essence sexual attraction to something other than sex.) As time progresses, that can interfere with the ability to engage in normal sexual behavior.
I personally believe (and again I don't presume to speak for everyone here) that the sexual aspect of it is a subconscious defense mechanism that allows us to avoid going through the real process of self-acceptance. You're only ever one orgasm away from making these "desires" go away... temporarily. The problem is that they're typically replaced with shame.
I also know that when I finally allowed me to accept myself, the sexual aspect literally vanished. For what it's worth, I think the sexual aspect of it is one of the few legitimately unhealthy aspects that can interfere with our ability to enjoy our lives.
If you need any evidence, ask yourself if you've ever felt an intense mood swing from euphoria to shame moments after finishing your business.
IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION: There's NOTHING wrong with having an orgasm while dressed. It's a matter of what the cause is.
Last edited by KatrinaK; 08-13-2018 at 01:29 PM.
Nope and no way should you allow that to happen. I often read rossdresser believe this happens to them. Remember this post however. Should you ever feel the desire to go further in the future, come back to it and remind your self why you started to crossdresser. Of course we are all different people, so just my personal opinion.
Last edited by Jane G; 08-13-2018 at 01:45 PM.
Hard to say, life's circumstances control much of our outcomes in my opinion. I too was sexually aroused when I first started dressing and it still makes me quake every now and then but now, much much older, it's more of a woman feeling down there......if you get my drift.
Would I have changed my gender had I grown up in today's world, perhaps. There has been so much advancement since I started it's hard to say if I'd gone all the way had it been available to me then. Just depends on how much time you spend indulging I suppose. Me, it was and still is come and go. I like my male self, love the male things I do and really can't see me changing that to be a woman full time.
Part of it all, to me, is the taboo of it all. The risk, the adventure of being caught.........it's exciting and makes the blood rush at times.
Just take it slow, be happy, don't be radical............
[QUOTE=LilSissyStevie;4269557]Everybody's different but the only reason that I ever thought it was "more" than a fetishistic activity was that I was ashamed of my fetish and was desperately searching for some "legitimate" reasons to be a crossdresser. Well, it turns out that it's "just" a fetish and that's OK./QUOTE]
Hallelujah. Well done, you get the gold star for seeing it how it is and accepting it! Many many members here fall into your same catagory but never get past that shame. I have seen members here for years looking to 'legitimise' their obvious fetish by making a case to be considered as somewhere on the TG spectrum when they are not. They stumble from post to post making a case for validation rather than just realising that a harmless fetish is nothing to be ashamed of. They do it for so long that they start to believe it. Very refreshing to hear that you have figured it out.
Don't worry. I'm almost 70 and still get aroused by the same things that have excited me since puberty. Most are crossdressing related and some are not but all have the same intensity.
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