Alcohol is a bad road to down and using it to deal/cope with life is dangerous at best.
Therapy may not have helped because you didn't want it to.Just a thought.
I have had friends die due to drugs,alcoholism and even sex(aids) so keep in mind you are dancing with the devil.
Therapy didn't help, because all they can do is offer generic ideas on how to live a life on their terms. Programs like that are stagnation. My terms seemed a little better than their own. I don't want to force myself to live an even more miserable life, because it's acceptable to society. At best my coping brings some excitement. It's better than nothing. Right or wrong is subjective.Originally Posted by Tracii G
Last edited by Lygophilia; 08-18-2018 at 11:38 AM.
As I read your words I get the strange feeling that I wrote them. You say things exactly how I feel. I don't know your age Lygophilia but I do hope you continue on a path in life that you desire. Keep well.
To the original post. It doesn't matter where one goes in life they will always run into someone telling them they are wrong in what they are doing. Whether it be personal like trans/cds or even in silly things like hobbies. There will always be people telling one that they are wrong in the way they go about their lives. I have been told many times from people that I am wrong with the way I live. I try not to label myself as cd or transsexual. I don't care what people think I am so I don't even answer them. Just live life the way you want, there are no rules.
In solitude where we are least alone. Byron
Lygophilia, I'm wondering how your drinking and sexual disorder affects your dressing/trans situation?
I'll bet that's been a hot mess on it's own plane!? Maybe you're still resolving those issues, too?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Yes, Cassandra. Sometimes people with issues are just people with issues. It is not a product of their gender identity.
Katrina, I don't see that - TS members here pushing Cd's to admit that it's "more than a hobby". What I do see, often, are TS's telling those who are nowhere near that end of the spectrum to be cautious about pushing themselves that way. Typically, it's one of the constantly appearing "should I start HRT" threads. Not saying that those aren't valid questions, but I most certainly am noting that the responses are nothing like, "Yes. Come join the club."
Aunt Kelly, totally appreciate what you're saying. This site seems to have a much more tolerant and moderate group as compared to the experiences that the OP was referring to. I was illustrating a counter-balance to that point of view. But as always, I appreciate you keeping me honest!
Alexis,
Maybe the majority are more inclined toward your friend's thoughts , many of the threads here are about CDers wanting to escape the closet and a DADT situation and find ways of moving on to find themsleves . It sounds as if your friends genuinely wanted to help you , the problem is you don't know yet what you need help with . Very few of us are static , what we believe is right today may not apply tomorrow , some of your behaviour simply sounds like a phase you're going through , you're at a low ebb and trying to find a way out .
There are no rules , and at times it feels like others are trying to lead you down the wrong road , I have been told several time that I should really be on hormones because I would make a good TS candidate , some think I'm a natural . It doesn't scare me the same anymore because I'm beginning to find myself , I see no real benefits from going further down the TS road , I'm very comfortable where I am now . That is the bottom line for you, you have to find your true comfort level and not be influenced by others but it does take time .
I can see my comments echoe Aunt Kelly . If you aren't at a certain stage you can't join our exclusive club ! Well there are many unhappy TSs about that are full of regret .
You use " Toxic " a great deal but maybe you are overstating it most people really do want to help , it's up to you to discover the ones that can do that for you , you need to find the ones you trust .
Last edited by Teresa; 08-18-2018 at 02:17 PM.
Lygophilia you are free to make your own choices so whatever works for you.
Right or wrong is not subjective. Beware of being stuck in a solipsistic mindset, I was once there, but I was wrong. Rights are Right, they are inherent in the universe, and anything that isn't right, is wrong. There is always a correct choice, what varies is the conditions we are in (as individuals) that differentiate a right choice or a wrong choice when it comes to things like substance use. What confuses people is that there are wrongs that are always wrong, such as theft, coercion, aggression and usury. We must practice affirmation by negation (confirm what is Right by knowing what is a wrong). There is a right way to partake in whatever inebriation technique you choose, and that is to not ab-use it. One person's use of alcohol may be wrong and the next persons' may be fine. The reason I stopped is because I know that even drinking a little is bad for my body physically. I've done so much drinking in the past that I just dont want to hurt myself anymore, so I stopped.
You should look into Natural Law principles. Believe me, I know your pain. I've been abused and addicted for most of my life and I now see that it was easy to stop once I saw that stopping would solve some major issues. There are no "normies". Some people just never develop dependencies and never abuse their vices, they just carry along well due to their conditions.
Living your life how you want is a trap that has been layed out before us by individuals such as Aleistar Crowley and the neo-satanist ideology movement and it's influence on pop culture and music. The law of Thelema: Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. This is definitely not correct. If all we did is what we want (or lived life to simply have fun) the world would stay exactly how it is, chaos. There are rules, and if you break them you suffer. If you get others to break them for you, you suffer less; but eventually will still suffer some form of consequences, less so than those who took the wrong actions themselves. If you live by the Law of the Universe you will be free.
The best therapy is Truth and moral grounding. Read the Kybalion, that's a good start.
I dont want to sound preachy or pushy. I just want to help anyone in suffering because I have learned a lot over the last few years while hiding in my room and it's time to turn the light on.
Last edited by aLEXisREX; 08-19-2018 at 01:54 AM.
Oh my goodness, Alex, you're no different than the religious kind. I'll admit my own prejudice. How one cannot be worn out of being so morally stuck up? A strange part of me likes you, meaning that you're cute with your posts, but do loosen up every once in a while, why don't you?
docrobbysherry, No problems here.
Amelie, I'm 34.
Last edited by Lygophilia; 08-19-2018 at 09:05 AM.
Thanks for your story and bringing this up AlexisR. At our support meeting Friday a CD showed up that only came once before 18 months ago. Her explanation of why she came back after all that time was that she had been going to another support group and she didn't seem to fit in there. She said it was more Transgender. Our group is a mix of CD-TS actually but we're very laid back. No one is pushing anything but all newbies are invited to go out dressed with the support of other members.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Your friend may be misguided into thinking that everyone should be trans.
Toxic transgender movement seems harsh as a title.
Find another friend or friends who have similar interests and you may not miss your friend so much.
There has been plenty of advice already so there is no need to repeat it.
I wish you well in your endeavours.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
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