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Thread: I'm so in a rut...help!

  1. #1
    Nikki Windsor nikkiwindsor's Avatar
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    I'm so in a rut...help!

    Help me girlfriends...two of my GFs just called me out for being in a fashion rut.

    At first, I denied having a problem thinking "what do you mean I wear the same dresses all the time? I have many dresses; minis and gowns, even a midi; long sleeve and now even a couple short sleeve; a variety of colors; textures of all persuasions, etc." One GF responded that despite all that I'm beholden to bodycon dresses and I really need to step out and try some new styles. Well, I guess I'm admitting she's right (I have but one peasant dress and I don't think I've ever posted a full length pic of me wearing it) but I really don't like admitting she knows more about me than I know about myself sometimes...eeerrr!

    So, although I'm a bit perturbed with all of this, I'm ready to step out and try a different style (not pants...see the "antipanters" thread for my opinion on pants and shorts) of dress...maybe "fit and flare"? I saw a young lady in a beautiful sleeveless fit and flare dress hemmed just below the knees and I thought maybe that style would work for me? What do you think?

    Please send me some suggestions about what would look good on me that isn't bodycon. And pics and sources would be a definite assist.

    I'm finally beyond denial about my "in the rut" fashion sense and ready to try something new...but not pants!

    Loveyah! Nikki
    Last edited by nikkiwindsor; 08-25-2018 at 05:02 AM.
    Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
    http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
    For the first time, outdoors during the day:
    http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg

  2. #2
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    While bodycon dresses look fab, you can't exactly go and pick up the groceries in one. For everyday I wear a simple semi fitted dress or something like this. It is a vest top with a cardi over it and a grey button detail skirt. (and definitely no pants on this girl!!)

    pic.jpg
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  3. #3
    Nikki Windsor nikkiwindsor's Avatar
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    Diane, you look fab! And those legs, I can see why you wouldn't want to wear pants I'll need to find a semi fitted dress b/c I'll prefer a one-piece garment to a blouse and skirt
    Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
    http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
    For the first time, outdoors during the day:
    http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg

  4. #4
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Nikki, Relax, I think you, and many others here, would look good in an onion sack.
    Crissy

  5. #5
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I tend to pick out dressed to try in the store by the fabric patterns that grab me - occasionally this means a new style - if it looks good on me I often buy it

  6. #6
    Member Valentina_Rossi's Avatar
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    Hi Nikki!

    I answered you in my picture thread... I will send you some suggestions once I have an access to a computer.

    Thanks by the way! And suggestions here are really nice! I hope you find what you are looking for...

    Love love
    Val💋

  7. #7
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Nikki,

    Isn't the answer anything other than a bodycon dress. If you want ideas try looking through some of the online sites such as;

    https://www.joebrowns.co.uk/pu+women...ontenta=MenuWC

    Many dresses, some fitted but not bodycon, there's tunics to mix and match plus loads of tops although I must admit I'm not a huge fan of the skirts on offer. But hey there's so many other retailers. I like;

    https://www.next.co.uk/

    Decent quality and variations in styles. What's not to like?
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  8. #8
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Most women's clothing stores have a variety of styles and textures! I am plus size so that is where I shop! Woman Within, Roamans, etc. but also JC Penney and Cato Fashions which have Misses sizes! Styles-sheath, A-Line, fit and flare, etc. There is a whole world of dresses out there! Time for retail therapy! LOL Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  9. #9
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    Diane,

    See what I mean? I recall you fretting over your "look" a bit in another thread. The concensus of the forum was that you are You and You look great.
    Just look at yourself in your every day casual. Spot on. Not glam but handsome, smart and spot on. These are the kinds of dressing examples I love to see when we share with one another. It shows us actually living.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    NIKKI,

    Girl, you have the goods and the gifts to do as you wish. Your powers of transformation are a forum gold standard, IMO. And as glam goes, you are the queen.
    But I kind of "get it" about a rut. I don't know too much about your social situation. Maybe you need to dress and get OUT and about, not just dress and photograph. Go out and be Nikki in public.
    One recommendation I'd make, if you're interested in a totally different mode and look, is to "Dress for Walmart". I'm not kidding nor being pejorative . I'm not asking you to get sloppy or fat either. Dress as though you were going casual shopping. No one wears a gown shopping. It's almost an act of dressing down but in a functional manner and look.
    You would be quite the shopper.

    On another note, got your FB invitation the other day. So great to see beautiful familiar faces in other strange places. Thanks Nikki. Keep looking gorgeous and out of the rut.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  10. #10
    Happy Halloween! Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    I’ve been there too; what helped me was shopping during changes of season, like now for example the fall stuff is coming out and you can get some new ideas for outfits, maybe window shop the malls.
    Michaela


    When you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush
    Facebook- Michaela Featherstone

  11. #11
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Nikki, Ilene, you are too kind, really.

    Nikki, how about something like this for an every day look (this is from NEXT)

    canvas.jpg
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  12. #12
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    Maybe your GF's are right. Last year you started a thread on height and weight and figure. Your figures were 165 pounds, five foot eleven,43-31-43. You're an inch shorter than I, but, also 35 pounds lighter (lucky girl). I think your figure of 43-31-43 went to your head. That's a figure which needs to be shown off. Forming fitting dresses cry out for that figure. I've seen some plus size women who do not need to accentuate rolls of flab in that style.

    I think your height creates a problem. At six foot even I have a problem with dresses. Dresses off the rack are made for the height of an average woman which may be somewhere around five foot seven. This creates a problem for me. A dress with a define waistline has the waist/belt line too far above the natural waist. The image is not flattering. Sort of looks like the old guy wearing hit belt at his nipples. Ugh! I choose to wear dresses without a defined waist. I got to sheaths, wraps and empire waists. The visual image does not break up with the belt line/natural waist. I have bought many dresses off the clearance section at JCP.com. Most retailers selling on line and eBay seller will list the length from the nape of the neck to the hem. You have to make a minor adjustment because the dress may be shorter when worn to accommodate for the curvature of the female body. Nobody is flat as a board.

    Summer is a great time for dresses, whether above the knee, midi or full length sun dresses. I like empire waist dresses for the summer, whether short sleeve or sleeve less because they flow and are cooler than a form fitting dress. In the past you cited problems with shaving legs and arms. If I recall you recently were able to thin out forearm hair which created an issue of a 'farmer's tan.' Getting past those hurdles which are solvable with tanning, natural or man made, you'd feel great in a sun dress.

    When I look around any time of the year I see many women who do have very nice figures who do not accentuate the form by spraying on a dress. The male mind when looking at them perhaps is wondering what she looks like without the dress. She perhaps chooses when to reveal her form to the person she wants to reveal it to. Many men who wear women's clothing seem to be preoccupied with trying to preen themselves for their own eye and mind because they do not freely move about in the world.

    Go to a site like JCPenny.com and peruse the offerings. There are so many styles for a woman with your figure to not be able to find something to try out.

  13. #13
    Member Mistyjo's Avatar
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    Nikki
    I don't know how you feel about maxi dresses. I really like them for the summer and fall seasons7010187.jpg
    Last edited by Mistyjo; 08-25-2018 at 10:57 AM.
    Mistyjo

  14. #14
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    Styles can be reviewed on line, of course. Check out Zulili and Liligal for ideas.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Just try a skirt and top, probably a long skirt.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I think you're simply confused, Nikki.

    Most women and dressers dress for themselves, not their friends. My good CD friend who I do everything with has maybe a 100 dresses. But, they r practically identical in cut and style. All above the knees, bodycon, sleeveless, and no very low fronts. Why? Because that's what she wants to see in her mirror and photos!

    That would bore me to death! But, it works for her and I know a lot of dressers that always wear the same style to every event, too.

    If you've got the figure for it and u like how u look? Wear it, girl!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #17
    Member Kimberly Adams's Avatar
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    I usually wear shift dresses because I haven't been skinny enough for a while to pull off anything form fitting. Hopefully that will change soon. I've lost about 15 lbs and have 15 more to go to get to my target weight. Recently ordered a waist cincher and look forward to trying it out. I have a corset but it isn't very comfortable.

  18. #18
    Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    Stephanie47 is correct that average dress sizes can be problematic if you are over 5’10”. That’s why whenever possible I order dresses from the Tall range to get the extra length in the torso.

    Don’t feel bad Nikki, I also have trouble expanding my fashion favourites beyond the fancier glam, bodycon styles etc that i tend to gravitate towards. The solution I have found is simple; you just have to spend more time shopping!

  19. #19
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    I got out of my comfort zone significantly a few years back when I engaged a personal shopper at Nordstroms. I appreciate you're heavily in the closet so perhaps you could consider it a twofer. Hugs, Michelle

  20. #20
    Member Cassiek's Avatar
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    Don’t worry Nikki you look great in everything. DIANEF and MISTYJO had great suggestions each of those outfits were super cute and I think they would look great on you. I am 5’10 and love to wear outfits similar to those pictured.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member
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    Hi Nikki , Don't let the fashion Police lock you up in Fashion Jail. >Orchid .o..o.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  22. #22
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
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    How about those fit and flare dresses? They fit a little more tightly on top and then are looser (flair) on the skirt.
    Of course, there's nothing wrong with a nice skirt of any type and a top to go with.
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  23. #23
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    Nikki,
    I don't understand why someone has to make comments like that , especially when you're not totally free to be out and about , enjoy your style . If you were out more you would soon develop your own style . I find that now I'm free to go through the clothing racks without any concerns just holding some items up against yourself often brings comments from other shoppers . Most SAs are more that happy to help , I tell them what style I feel suits me and they will give an opinion , sometimes being persuaded to try something different on can be an eye opener . I didn't like lace but tried a style on with a lace top which came in six colours the duck egg blue was stunning but some of the other colours just didn't work , the cream one looked more like a nightie .

    I said no way to trousers but doing everyday I had to eat my words , it's a learning curve to make them work , the right sweater or maybe a stylish jacket and some nice boots .

    I can't say I have a favourite style , it's what's appropriate for the occasion , I have bodycons , I have leather , full skirts ,tight skirts, LBDs , floaty dresses and warm winter dresses . Then there's the problem of matching shoes , I have too many sometimes and not enough choice on other occasions but don't we just love it !!

  24. #24
    Nikki Windsor nikkiwindsor's Avatar
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    Crissy, mmm...relax...true, I do need to calm down...i'm pretty high strung so says the wifey and she tries to keep me even-keeled which is a constant challenge...I've never been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or something similar....but, I do wonder sometimes. As for onion sack, where would I find that in the women's dept? Nikki p.s. thank you for the great advice and compliment!

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Oh dear...you suggested "pants" in your pictures thread...I'm an "antipanter" so I'm afraid that's not an option. I'll consider the other suggestions (hint...hint - some type of dress)

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    I've visited both sites and I'm getting some ideas...reminded me that we'll soon be entering the fall season. Have to keep that in mind b/c I'm going to try and get out among the muggles

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Hi Lana Mae...I'm thinking maybe fit and flare - I think sheath and A-line are not to much of a stretch from bodycon - I'm going to try and be a bit more adventurous...therapy I need to get out of this rut!

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Oh Ilene....you do know how to make a girl feel good about herself. I'm so hard on myself (remember, relax Nikki, relax Nikki, relax Nikki...deep breadths)...I'd love to get out and about but still too nervous to do in public beyond the few times I did on Halloween a few years ago. I just went outside in my backyard, took some pics and I started to get all tingly all over...NERVOUS! I am interested in a totally different look...something blendable b/c yip, your right, no one goes shopping or for that matter just about anything wearing a gown - once I'm out of the rut I'll try to stay on the road! Happy to friend you on FB - but, I don't converse w/ very many through that media. Nikki

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Yes! Fall soon be here...time to window shop via the internet

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Ooo...this is very pretty Diane...and casual too..and I've never worn a women's shoe with anything less than a 3 inch heel...I wonder if I can walk in women's flats? But, the dress looks pretty form fitting...nothing like a bodycon but not much looser. I think I need to be a bit more adventuresome. But, I do agree that I need to find some cute flats and forgo the heels with my new dress..whatever the style. Nikki
    Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
    http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
    For the first time, outdoors during the day:
    http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg

  25. #25
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I think your GG friends are saying "Start wearing more clothes that don't accent your figure so much. I.e. looser clothes. Something that a girl, two sizes above you, might be able to get into.
    I also think your GGs might be a bit jelous of your figure. So try something with more room. Example a man's white shirt size XL or greater, hanging out with a simple skirt. Flats on the feet.

    This is the same problem I have. I always want to look like I'm a fashion model. If I do that, then I am over-dressed for the occasion. You want to start wearing more, "daily wear", stuff you would wear cleaning the house of working in a guarder. Get some air between your clothes and body.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    A Southern Belle.

    "For a lump of coal to become a diamond, it takes a lot of pressure, heat, and time."
    "The question is, can I, as a lump of poor coal, survive that heat, pressure, and time."

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