I remember that I dressed many times but was too afraid to go out of the house. I wanted to but I couldn't bring my self to do it. Then one night, I just could hold back any longer. I remember the feeling of how I had to get out. So I waited until it was dark, sneaked out the back door and around to the car, and drove to a 7-11. I went in and bought a soda, and hurried back home. That was about 30 years and maybe 1000 trips ago out as Stephanie.