I've been a member of this site for a few years, and have been primarily a lurker as I have been dealing with of personal issues and depression. Throughout my life, as seems to be fairly common for many, I have been unable to find a way to identify a label that describes my gender dysphoria. Deep down, I've always felt that my physical gender doesn't align to my actual gender, but this has also varied over the years during certain periods of my life.
Over the past 10-15 years, my dysphoria has been much more clear in my head and heart, and I have been struggling on my own to gain clarity.
Anyhow, I just recently started counseling for a myriad of issues including depression, anxiety, and gender dysphoria. I've only been seeing her for a couple of months now, but today we made major progress in my enlightenment. I was able to finally acknowledge and admit that I am a MTF transsexual. I have been stifling this for years out of fear of losing the things in my life that I cherish and the inherent change that will happen as part of a transition; either full or partial. As of today, I have had enough trust established with my therapist, along with the self reflection of who I am, want to be, and need to be, to be able to admit to myself and to someone else.
Where in my journey this is going to take me is yet to be written, but to know that I have a clearer view of my map is such a relief.
