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Thread: MIADs...a question

  1. #26
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    Of course we are all influenced by society's gender constructs. We as a species have thousands of generations of males and females being forced, mainly by biological realities (childbearing being perhaps the biggest one, of course). Only in the last two or three generations have some of us begun to question or toss aside the old ways, and naturally there's some pushback, whether it's the people around us or our own inbred fears. The same can be seen wiith homosexuality, gay marriage, interracial marriage, women in the workplace, among others. We are constantly evolving in our relationships and attitudes while the old ways of thinking persist, hopefully to a diminishing degree.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    My situation as a house crossdresser, I probably be a MIAD, love all feminine pieces of clothing and am more myself wearing them without to much make up. As we progress, things might change.
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

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  3. #28
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    I do both MIAD and full dressing.

    I'd still wear dresses and skirts even if they were originally for men. Why should women have so many clothing choices, but not men? Doesn't seem fair.

  4. #29
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    I don't wear women's clothes them because they are marketed towards women. I crossdress because it is who I am. There are really many types of women's attire I wouldn't even touch. Funny thing is, I always aim for a particular female look that I would wear as a man. I don't try to emulate women. Not because I won't pass (probably wouldn't, and I like to keep a beard), but because I don't feel like one and it's not something I need or desire. I'm a man in a dress and I like it that way. However, I must admit that I wear bras; for some reason it feels incomplete without one.

    This autumn I'm looking forward to trying and incorporating some elements of women's fashion into my daily life. For example, I really like it when women wear heavy boots with chunky socks sticking out. Where I live women usually do this. I'm looking for a way to do the same with my male clothes.

  5. #30
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I am more of a MIAS (man in a skirt) since I prefer skirts with a t-shirt or male button down shirt. I love the way the feel, the way they look, the way some of them twirl, their variety (from utilitarian jean skirts to frilly pretty ones), and as a way of expressing femininity. So yes, being associated with women is part of the draw for me, but there are a lot of other draws for me too. I have looked into buying running kilts a few times but haven't due to cost for the time being.

    Now my love of heels is definitely due to the femininity associated with them and would have no desire for man heels.

  6. #31
    Member Kendalli's Avatar
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    I consider myself a MIAD. For me I wear women's clothes helps scratch an itch so to speak. I want to look as feminine as possible, but it is not something I can embrace completely unless I want to come out of the closet to more than just my wife. I have a hard time looking in a mirror when dressed because it shatters the fantasy of what I would want to look like. So at this time I am not ready to take that next step into looking more like a woman, but there is still that want for it. And for now being a MIAD is just something I deal with while I get comfortable with the being open about my dressing with my wife.

  7. #32
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    For me it is the feel of the garment over whether it is Male or female. Although sometimes I just want to be all girly a skirt is a skirt, if it was a Male skirt or female dosent matter to me. Yes I know you can get a kilt and in fact have 2 but that is 1 style of skirt and not much favorite one. So yes if it was a Male garment I would in fact wear them.

  8. #33
    Pantyhose for everyone! Jennifer_Ph's Avatar
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    I just don't care for the fake boobs, makeup, wigs, and all that. Skirts, hose, and heels are all I pretty much wear. Why? Because I like the variety available in the other department. Mens shoes are boring as hell. Useful sometimes, yes, like when mowing the lawn and stuff. I wear this stuff almost every day.. to work, to friends houses, restaurants, everywhere. My legs are in L'eggs unless I am shaving them, so pretty much 24-7.
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  9. #34
    My BF and Style Guru Millisense's Avatar
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    Hi Kayla, I love the thought-provoking question that if society flipped and women's clothes were what men wore, would I want to wear pants and a shirt and tie, etc., I love convention-questioning questions like that, like "why on maps and globes is the earth shown always with the the north pole up" etc.

    I can't say for sure , but I don't think I would be like you in the gender-flipping scenario, I think I'd like the "man's" clothes, ie panties, nightgowns, skirts etc still.
    I'm a MIAD who wears certain items all the time because they're more comfortable, lighter, and in the case of the women's boy short briefs I buy, they're not only more comfortable and lighter, but they're 1/3 the cost of men's boxers, so, well, duhh. I don't really care about colors, though pink I tend to wear last just because I think it'd be harder to explain if found in my laundry, etc.
    A "pink fog" to me is the desire to full dress with the forms, wig, maekup etc which I have done and will do, but MIAD everyday wear for me is here to stay. That said, I agree there's a psychological aspect of going against gender too that's appealing. I agree too that manties are missing the point.

  10. #35
    Member Read only MiniRock's Avatar
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    Good question Kayla. For me, there are many reasons, but I have realised that I always want to take photos of myself when I put on women's clothes. And I want the results to please me (and actually anybody else who's interested) afterwards. Which means as attractive and hopefully sexy as possible. And since I photograph as a decent looking bloke (IMHO) and (leastwise at every attempt thus far) a pretty ugly woman, the choice is obvious. Incidentally, I find the desire to look nice is also an incentive to avoid being overweight, which to me is a clear health benefit (there could be a new thread there). I confess the stocky MAID look doesn't please me either and if I had short chunky legs with a pronounced gap between them and very broad shoulders (from what I understand, Eastern European girls prefer men that way), I probably wouldn't have the urge to cross dress at all (although I might consider a kilt which, in my opinion, only works on stocky men). Actually quite often I see pictures posted here of very passable women with the notable exception of the face and I wonder if these girls might actually look (genuinely) more attractive as MAIDs.

    You mention your hatred of ties. Seems nobody nowadays wants to wear one. Indeed, in every job I take, I find myself in a minority of one for always wearing one; I don't feel smart without a tie as I similarly want to feel attractive (so is that a man thing or a woman thing?). Mind you, I've been wearing them 5/7 since I was four years old (in the very beginning elasticated), so it's a very natural, and indeed comfortable thing for me to do. In my introduction, I said that I didn't feel sure I belonged here and I still wonder how typical I am for wanting to look good however I dress - although I definitely prefer my girly clothes and certainly only they are a turn on (another thread?). I think it's a form of exaggerated vanity: when I was trying to buy my children back through the family courts, one of the psychologists even accused me of being a narcissist!

    On a final note, as Rayleen and Bianca said, if I could find a way to look good in a wig and makeup, especially as I've begun to go out dressed, I probably would. I had a rather unpleasant experience last time (even though it was very early morning) when two teenage boys decided to loiter nearby and amuse themselves at my expense. Oddly enough, I don't find it difficult to realate to their motivations; I was a boy myself once. Nevertheless, I think that might not have happened had I not been so obviously a man wearing a frock.

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  11. #36
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kayla_bayarea View Post
    I admit to really hating the MIAD look but I will staunchly defend your right to dress that way to anyone. That being said, are you attracted to dresses and other typically female garments because of the actual way they look or because they are marketed towards women? If sartorial history was flipped and dresses were all along considered to be a male garment would you still want to wear one?
    At least to the outside observer, I am not a MIAD -- but a "MIAL" (Man In A pair of Leggings).

    However, I believe I may still be qualified to respond, given that leggings as stand-alone pants, particularly in a non-exercise setting, are overall pretty much associated with only GG's?


    If I'm out & about during the non-summer months, I'll usually be found wearing women's activewear from head to toe. Full-length work-out leggings, hoodie, layering top underneath, running shoes, panties/thongs, no-show socks, sometimes a (unstuffed) padded sports-bra. If enough snow on the ground, I'll swap out the running shoes with practical women's snow-boots with long scrunched-up socks coming out from the top. During the summer you may see me, at least around the apartment complex, with leggings & a men's t-shirt.

    Typically (but not always! ) I will attempt to "play down" the outfit away from home. Whether it's toning down the prints of the leggings, and/or wearing more masculine or neutral colors/shades. But at home, I'll go as crazy as I want with some very femmy prints & colors. There I also wear a lot of tight, stretchy activewear tops, including those with extra-long sleeves & thumb-holes (which are typically a lot more associated with women's clothing).


    Now that that backdrop is out of the way, I will say that it can look rather good all put together, if done correctly -- in guy-mode, mind you. I do not try to present as a GG in any way, shape or form. To the outside observer, I'm just a dude in women's activewear. Of course, I think having a decent physique certainly helps with all this, especially if you have the upper- *and* lower-body for it.

    And not only does it look good on me, but it also *feels* good & comfy. Very versatile, too. Outside of work (which requires much more rugged & durable clothing), I could wear some variation of this look basically 24/7 -- including to bed. Great for all kinds of situations/environments, too. For example, yesterday afternoon I had to throw a letter in the box outside the post office. Just a quick trip, so no need to change... Wearing printed leggings (which looked like women's ripped jeans) & a men's t-shirt. As luck would have it, on the way over there, the skies open up & a *huge* downpour rains upon me. Quickly sprinting to & from my car, and then again once I got back home, was a piece of cake. Try that in a dress & heels.


    *Could* I wear men's work-out leggings/running tights, instead? I suppose. I mean, they do make them, after all, even though the market is still pretty small. But the issue with those is, I prefer the women's stuff due to the HUGE variety of colors & prints & styles, which aren't as available in men's. And even a simple pair of black or navy leggings? Most men's that I've seen have split "U" stitching in the front crotch area, which actually *showcases* a guy's frontal issue. I'm all set with that, and instead prefer the vertical "|" stitching found in women's, which helps to minimize down there, in my case.

    The same goes for running shoes, really. In fact, early on I *have* worn the men's version with this outfit. But I much prefer women's, even in something as simple as all-black. Why? Because even though both versions fit me fine, the women's actually make my feet look shorter & narrower. I've even done a side-by-side comparison (men's on one foot, women's on the other), just to be sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. Women's, it is!


    I dunno, stuff like that. And if on the *very* off-chance that all these men everywhere suddenly start wearing the leggings-&-hoodie look everywhere they go, will I stop wearing that? No way! I'd be like, "Welcome to the club, brothers! What the heck took you so long??"

    However, I won't be holding my breath on that one...

  12. #37
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ellbee View Post

    However, I believe I may still be qualified to respond, given that leggings as stand-alone pants, particularly in a non-exercise setting, are overall pretty much associated with only GG's?
    Nope, not any more. I wear them all day everyday and no-one bats an eye. I even have a couple of pairs specifically made for men. Feminine yes, crossdressing no.

  13. #38
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Daisy, my friend, tell you what...


    Later this evening, which will be *much* cooler outside than normal, I have to run a bunch of errands among the general population. And I will intentionally keep my eyes peeled for any & all men wearing leggings as stand-alone pants in a non-exercise situation.

    If I see even one (other than myself), I will be honest about it, report it here, & PayPal you 20 quid. Deal?


    (And if you don't hear about it, which I'm certain you won't, that means I didn't see any... )

  14. #39
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    The only time I have seen a male in leggings was either running in the cold weather or part of a crossdressing outfit. Definitely seems like crossdressing to me.

  15. #40
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    It seems we in the UK are just ahead of the game then. Maybe you from across the pond should look to us for fashion advise as we are leading the way. It all comes from sports but what starts as sportswear inevitably slowly gets adopted as casual wear. It's like running shoes, I bet that for everyone you see actually running in a pair you will see a million others just wearing them as shoes. Same with baseball boots, compression gear, shell tops, track suits, 'joggers', and so on. Men are wearing leggings in the gym and for running (hence the proliferation of manufacturers making male specific ones to satisfy the demand) so inevitably they are working their way into everday casual fashion. If you are wearing leggings you are not crossdressing, you are just an early adopter of what will soon be completely normal. You're a trend setter, well done. Comfortable clothes always spread easily as people enjoy wearing them and nothing fits the bill more than leggings. They were unheard of 30 years ago and now you will see more women out and about in leggings than all other trousers, skirts and dressess added together.

  16. #41
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    Kayla,
    I do not identify as a man in a dress, but I respect and support anyone who does ID as such.

    Yes, I like dresses, skirts, blouses, stockings, shoes and on and on. Wearing female clothing is a no-brainer for me, i.e. it is just normal clothing. I did not understand that until recent years. Even though I could wear woman's jeans and tops at work, I wear male clothing instead because there is a good chance of encountering nasty heavy industrial dirt, grime, oil, etc. that would destroy my clothing. I would rather toss my male attire and protect my ladies clothes.


    As several responses have mentioned, wearing a bra daily was an ah-ha moment, which I discovered 2+ years ago. No going back, as it definitely improved my mindset.

  17. #42
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    For me, and possibly to confuse this a little more, or possibly to demonstrate that there are as many gender variations as there are people, I present as a MIAD (although when dressed I always wear a bra and forms), but definitely see myself as transgender. I wear women's clothes because women wear them and I identify as a woman. I don't wear them as they are more comfortable, or that I like them, per se. I wear the clothes which are natural for me to wear. I don't feel that I have to change my appearance when I do this as I am who I am. OK, I couldn't actually pass as a woman because I am very manly looking, but that doesn't bother me, largely because many GGs don't alter their appearance when they are dressed, indeed, most of the time, they present as just who they are. So, to my mind, in presenting as who I am, then, for me, it is more natural and fits in with my idea of me being female, as opposed to being feminine. I don't need to wear make-up and a wig to see the girl in me, as I am the girl in me. To get back to the original post, then, if things were reversed then I'm sure that I would wear a three piece suit and tie, but as things stand, then I can't think of anything that I would less like to wear. As for gender neutral clothing, this is one of my biggest fears, as, for me, wanting to identify as female, then something that crosses both ways is an anathema to me and is to be avoided at all costs

  18. #43
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Why do I dress the way I do? Why does anyone dress the way the do?

    Dress the way you feel most comfortable.
    I very rarely wear a wig or anything above the neck that gives me a female appearance.
    So yes, 99% of the time I am a MIAD

    Why you ask???
    Well honestly that is the way I feel best, that is what my heart and mind tells me I should be doing.
    My mind is most at easy when I and dressed as a woman from the neck down.
    When I look in the mirror, I smile, That is what I am supposed to be seeing.
    Not that frumpy looking guy.

    May be confusing to alot of people, and honestly it is confusing tome as well.
    but that is how my mind works. Lol, pretty messed up place in my head.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  19. #44
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    Glad to see so many responses. People have been predicting the end of gendered fashion in the future and I actually do not want that to happen at all. They idea of clothing/fashion being morphed into some non-gendered blob is kind of horrifying to me. I am totally against only XX individuals can wear one type of clothes and XY individuals can only wear the other. But, I don't want to concept of femininity to be abandoned. I admit being pretty brainwashed into what the ideal feminine look is but I am happy to be brainwashed in that regards. I used to think it's the actual clothes that attract me but I don't think that's really true. I prioritize what image the clothes would project ON ME but I can still admire clothing on a hanger or shoes sitting on a shelf that just look pretty.

    I remember mocking my female friends in college for wearing leggings as pants over 20 years ago. "Leggings are not pants!" Now, I wear leggings almost everyday and barely wear even jeans. If stereotypical male associated clothing suddenly became uber popular with girls I would probably start incorporating them in my daily wardrobe. On the other hand, if something like fit and flare dresses suddenly became popular with a large segment of the male population for a long time I would probably stop wearing them. They would no longer project femininity to the general population and would lose the image I want. Gender is indeed a social construct but I buy into it pretty willingly.

    I hope that clothing continues to be divided into different parts of the store in the future but it doesn't mean it has to be done among male/female (which is sex, not gender). I do think something (objects, ideas, etc.) can be inherently feminine or masculine as long as we have society. A knife is a feminine weapon and a baseball bat is a masculine one. An oval looks to be a more feminine shape than a rectangle. If there are any anthropologists on here I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Since the most glaring difference between a GG and a GM is the ability to give birth I wonder if what we consider feminine and masculine is tied to this. I know that what the human population in general finds attractive on a primal basis is youth for women because youth signals the ability to give birth.

    Anyway, hoping to keep the idea of gender but have it accessible to all.

  20. #45
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    In reply to your original question, i am from the miad section of members and i like the look & feel of fem clothes. I also like the way i feel when i wear them. (It's a comfortable & relaxed thing, not a turned-on thing.)
    I don't want to be fully en-femme and try to pass. I just feel that a genderblurred presentation at home seems the most appropriate look for me.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  21. #46
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    A touch off topic apologies,but what on earth is a Running Kilt I've seen them mentioned on here a few times and unless your running towards the enemy claymore in hand then I'm bemused at to what they are.And also a traditional kilt is a skirt technically but it's still a man's garment so your not crossdressing or indeed a MIAD wearing one,now of course there is a burgeoning fashion trend of mini kilts etc which is a different thing altogether

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  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by t-girlxsophie View Post
    A touch off topic apologies,but what on earth is a Running Kilt
    Sophie, yes I was as bemused as you, so a quick search turned up the following: http://www.runningkilts.com/

    I also agree with you on the gender nature of kilts in general too and so wouldn't wear one, but, a woollen, tartan, pleated skirt, that's an altogether different thing. I used to have a full length hostess kilt, which I got from a shop near Inverness, now that definitely wasn't a man's garment

  23. #48
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    I mostly agree with you, Krea. For me it is my everyday attire and I am all man, no femininity involved.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  24. #49
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    As an endurance runner, running kilts have piqued my interest. I do own two running skirts and they are a little on the short side. One has built in compression shorts which is great for modesty (a small enclosed pocket for big enough for a car key (I really like these ones and might buy a another in another color). The other one is just a skirt and will only wear on solo runs since don't want someone seeing something when going up a hill during a group run. The running kilts typically are longer and are just the skirt (so no fabric in between the legs that could cause chafing). And usually a little better on pockets (which for a long run can stash more stuff like a phone or food). But I also identify more as a non-binary so a kilt and a skirt are fairly equal to me, I just love clothes that don't go between my legs

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