A tale of two dress shops

[Christie ann]

Another Christine day popped up out of no where, so I shaved close, did my little bit of make up got dressed ( khaki skirt and lacy black top) and drove to a nearby town where I have adventured before. We have a wedding to go to this fall and if I can wear a dress I wanted to be ready (ain’t gonna happen, but wanted to be prepared if the pigs started flying...anyway) I went into the David’s Bridal I have tried on wedding dresses before. The manager remember me from 3 years ago, called me by name, gave me a hug and assigned a beautiful girl to assist me in my quest. We picked 6 dresses, went to the rooms next to the very large mirrors and proceeded to try on dresses. Next to me were some very pretty bride to be and bridesmaids in waiting, only one old guy gave me the stink eye, everyone else was at least polite and mostly very talkative. I found two possibles, but now want to see if I can find matching shoes.

I then walked two doors down to a Dress Barn that I have frequented. I walked in the door, explained what I was looking for, we found a few to try on ( more affordable than David’s) but this time I find myself in the “ other” dressing room off to the side in the back of the store . Sure my name was on the door and the dresses were hung in the room and these were not closets, but I was put away from the general population. I can understand that some people might take offense to my being there, but that had never happened before, especially after my experience at David’s. So, I asked for the mangers business card and will contact DB after the holidays.

Bottom line is that it was a wonderful morning, I found some really nice dresses. If Christine gets invited to that wedding she wil be ready! I had some great conversations with some pretty girls and their moms. It was a good day.

[Beverley Sims]

I never worry about being put aside, I feel that they are looking after me and the other customers as well.

[Solange]

I am closeted and in a DADT relationship so first let me say that you are infinitely braver than moi.

That said, I think Beverly's comment was spot on. I would add that the shopping experience in a bridal store shouldn't be directly compared to a retail chain. They are different environments, a bridal store selling high-end, special occasion clothing will work hard to create an extra special shopping experience. All-in-all,it sounds like you had a delicious morning.

I hope you get invited to the wedding, I'm sure you'll be beautiful.

-S

[susan54]

I never mind being put in the 'other' fitting room. Until recently in my local Debenhams I was asked to go to the Personal Shopper suite which was roomy with lots of mirrors and the SA stayed just outside so she should get other sizes for me. On the last two visits I have just been show to a fitting room like everyone else. Another boutique where I had used the main fitting rooms as a man, suggested on my next visit, when I was fully dressed as Susan, that I would be more comfortable in their workroom. I was done nicely and again there was lots of room but it was less easy to show my outfits to the GG friend I was with. The shops are being helpful and the service is as good and sometimes better so I find no cause for complaint. Shops like Zara have asked me to use the male changing area which causes me to hand the stuff to them and leave the store. I don't think that is a cause for complaint, though. They are providing a designated fitting room - it is just that I do not wish to interact with other guys when emerging from a fitting room carrying a dress that I have obviously been trying on. Actually I do not wish to interact with other guys AT ALL when shopping for womenswear and if a man is serving I will seek out a woman SA. Again I do not find this grounds for complaint. Shops are trying to help us (and their sales) while avoiding upsetting women customers - if we start complaining about this they might be less inclined to help us at all. Be nice. It opens doors - and fitting rooms. Make all their experiences of dealing with men trying on dresses and skirts pleasant - do not let them think of us as guys who go around complaining about them. Be nice and they will be nice. Attitudes are rapidly changing in our favour - we help if we smile and hold it back if we are associated with moaning. So smile and go with the flow if there is a flow.

[Lydianne]

Barn could have been interpreted in either of two ways. If the experience was the same and you got the same amount of SA attention, then there could have been honourable reasons why. For example, they might have thought you might have appreciated the increased privacy (?).

But given the thread title, I was anticipating a particular beginning . . . if you know what I mean .

The important thing is you had an enjoyable experience and you found what you were looking for .

- Lydianne.

[Christie ann]

Thanks for the input. I agree now that I have had a chance to sleep on it. It was only at the time did I feel slighted. I must admit I had the whole big mirror to myself, although I missed the banter with the other women as we compliment ourselves on our good taste in clothes.

[Tracy Irving]

Glad you had a good day and were able to find what you were looking for.

Can't help but wonder what would have happened if you asked the good folks at Dress Barn for a more prominent and attention getting dressing room. Chances are good they would have been accommodating.

[Diane Smith]

I have never, ever, had a problem shopping in a Dressbarn store, so that may prejudice my response to this. But my best guess is that they thought they were doing you a favor by separating you from the other shoppers to give you more privacy. Part of being friendly to crossdressers, after all, is that they understand many of us are tentative and nervous when shopping in a women's only store, and good customer service includes addressing those emotions. Rather then complaining to corporate, I suggest you stop in the store again, speak to the manager, and politely mention your concern.

- Diane