Hello all,
Sometimes I fight against my crossdressing. It makes me feel bad, it makes me suffer. Sometimes I feel like I don´t want to have it, I want to get rid of it to only be a common man. It would make my life a lot more easier, it would make my wife a lot happier because of our love. Our relationship is great but crossdressing is a point of stress and fights and sadness for her and she doesn´t deserve that because she is an awesome human being. And when she is sad I am sad either, because I know it is my fault.
I try to think that I am gifted and able to have a vision of people that just a little of us can have, to see people beyond rules imposed by society, to see their true self and the most important, to not judge them for who they are and for who they want to be.
But this is not enough to ease the pain and sadness for not being able to be me, to be myself, to be judged by my clothes choice. So, maybe, the best choice is to lock Patricia away and live the easier life, a life that can be also full with happiness and joy. Can I do it for the rest of my life? I don´t know, but I am willing to try it at this moment.
I didn´t take this decision yet, but at this time I am 80% inclined to take this path.
I am sorry for this sad text, but it is how I am feeling at this moment.
Kisses
Patricia.