"Passing." Expanding on my "How did u know u were a CD?", post.

[ClosetED]

Your original statement, would you become TS was wrong, but you later corrected it.
To me, in simplistic terms, a CD wants to change how society interacts with them, as a female and not as a male. A TS wants to interact with the world as a female and have them interact that way back.
But if I could magically pass, would I now live 24/7? No, because I prefer to choose how society interacts with me - as a male and if I chose, as a female.
If society suddenly no longer treated the gender presentations differently, which would put the dating scene in a whirlwind, then that is different.
IMHO,
Hugs, Ellen

[Helen_Highwater]

Sherry,

I guess the vast majority of us would like to look as femme as possible when out and about and to taken 100% as a female would certainly tick the box. The problem lies in returning to drab. I don't want to be seen as being effeminate while presenting as my male self. So strive as I do to make my facade as female as I can I think I'd have to say no to your proposition.

If at some point in the future I decided to live 24/7 as a female then that shifts the goal posts.

[Teresa]

Helen,
That's an interesting comment , who do you need to macho up for , family , work or just friends ? I know there is a difference in male / female actions but I try to not overdo being too femme and don't overdo the macho side when I need to be in drab . I don't do camp, at times I may get it wrong but then what exactly do we come over as , some women are more masculine than me !

It also can be a problem with F/M members , sometimes they try too hard and come over as too mean and moody so we all live with stereotypes , I aim just to be me but with a femme appearance , it appears to work fine with people because I come over as so comfortable with it . Trying too hard in some directions takes yoiu back to being nervous and less confident .

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

Macho isn't the term I'd apply. I'm not one for chest beating and muscle flexing, I'm too old for silly things like that. I suppose the best way to describe it, and I hope you'll like where I'm going with this, is I like to blend regardless of which gender I present as. Add to this I spend significantly more time presenting my male side than I do my femme to the outside world whereas you're the reverse.

As I understand Sherry's proposition if you take the red pill then the features change for good, no going back so while my life is spent predominantly as male, I'll make the best of what I have.

[susan54]

I like being a man. The only aspect of women I envy is their clothing. I absolutely love interacting with women as a man and would never give that up.

OK, I do not pass, but I look really good when I dress up fully. Women who know me say I look like a really, really elegant ... person. That is all I am seeking. I make a good job of dressing and acting like a woman and that is enough. A few times women have assumed that I too was a woman. Yes, I got a buzz out of it, but all it meant was that my acting was really good that day or - more likely - that they simply weren't paying attention.

Yes, I spend most of my time fully dressed - apart from make up and wig. Clearly I love it. But for 99% of my interaction with the world I want to do so as a man and a masculine (but not macho) man at that. That ain't going to change no matter how good I get at looking like a broad.

[HollyGreene]

If I could pass easily, I still wouldn't transition. I would go out dressed a lot more though, and with a lot more confidence.

[Samantha Sometimes]

I would in an instant.

[Ressie]

I'd say if I had more feminine physical characteristics, I would be more passable. And those characteristics would also have an affect on my personality. Knowing myself, I think I would more likely take on a fem personality more often than I do now.

Being more passable in that regard would increase my desire to live as a women 24/7.

[Carolina]

I think these are great questions.

In my fantasy world I’d love to be a woman (there! I said it!). In reality, faced with my wife, grown children, friends and society issues and not being able to pass I think transitioning remains an illusion, utopia or dream that seems impossible to achieve.

If I could pass then I think I’d start taking some steps towards transition to see where I would end up. Passing is a big thing for me, but societal and family constraints are also big hurdles to overcome

In summary, I’m still trying to figure myself out...

[Fran-K]

If u r a cross dresser and could magically pass, wouldn't many/most suddenly become TS?

In the sense of having some of the bits I was born with magically turned into the bits I wasn't?
Nope.
I'm quite content with what I have (well, maybe not the extra 20 pounds ... but that's a different question I think :-).

Would I like to be such that my body could more better fit the female physique so as to be able to pass more-or-less undetected? Possibly, but not at the cost of losing my male attributes. Dressing is fun and enjoyable; sometimes I need the male muscle mass to do things that need doing (like splitting firewood, building stone walls, and so on).

I guess I'd like to have my cake and to eat it (and to lose the 20 pounds!)

Fran

[abby054]

I simply wondered if easily passing mite tempt CD's who've given up transitioning because of their looks, into transitioning

No, not at all. I would take full advantage of being able to enjoy the best of both worlds.

[kimdl93]

Without question, I would definitely move toward living 24/7 if I was reasonably passable.

[Charlotte7]

One of the wisest things that my other half ever said to me was that, for GG, wearing a skirt is just like it is for me wearing trousers, so generally, nothing special. So, to my mind, I'd never want to lose that special thrill that I get when I dress, I'd always want it to be special, and so, if I could pass as a woman, then yes, I'd enjoy passing as a woman but I'd still be CD, and not want to be TS. 50 years ago, maybe it would have been the other way, if I could have lived as a girl, then I almost certainly would, But, now, too much water has flowed under that bridge, that I'm now this way and happy with it too.

[sometimes_miss]

To all those who say that if they could pass, they would definitely transition, I have a question: Are you strictly homosexual now? Or Bisexual? Because the number of women interested in a romantic relationship with a post op MTF is even lower than the number of women who are interested in men who crossdress. Essentially you will be limiting your intimate relationships to men who aren't interested in any long term type relationships with you, it will be just random sex when it does happen. Are you okay with that?

I think you might be asking the wrong question. If someone is TS has nothing to do with passing or not passing.

Well......sometimes. It really depends upon just how severe the GID is; whether it affects your ability to get through the day. And it also would make a difference as to whether transitioning would just further make life harder in so many ways.

I simply wondered if easily passing mite tempt CD's who've given up transitioning because of their looks, into transitioning?

If you've given up on transitioning just because you won't have the female body you really want, then you're not a CD. You'r a non op TS.
As above, transitioning will change life drastically, and I believe that many TS go through the whole process, never quite understanding just how hard it's going to be. I think that the immediate goal is just to relieve the intense psychological discomfort in having the body which is the wrong physical sex. Once that is corrected, all the other problems associated with it come to the forefront.

I also have a female personality, currently "time sharing" the XY body,

Interesting way of putting it, that.

If I am correct on this:
A crossdresser has not changed his body but dresses as a female.
A transsexual has had upper and lower surgery and is now a female.

Appears physically to be female. But is not. Post op, that person is a post op MTF transsexual to oh, about 99% of the world. They retain their dna, as well as various structural differences, more, if they transitioned and has SRS post puberty without having received certain hormone blockers before their transition. A MTF TS will never have all of the minute structures, glands, etc., that a female at birth person does.

there is a third choice,

And many more choices, as well. As many as there are us.

[SaraLin]

To all those who say that if they could pass, they would definitely transition, I have a question: Are you strictly homosexual now? Or Bisexual? Because the number of women interested in a romantic relationship with a post op MTF is even lower than the number of women who are interested in men who crossdress.

I'm one of those who said we'd transition, so here's my answer:
I'd say that post-transition, I'd probably be Asexual.

I wouldn't need to be in an intimate sexual relationship with anyone. For me, at least, that wouldn't be a consideration. At this stage of my life, I'm far enough past it that I could easily do without.


Even though it's fun to imagine, "what if's" don't really matter. I wake up in the morning and her I am - still stuck in reality.

[Aunt Kelly]

Wow... So many misunderstandings about transsexuals.
Sex (the act) may (or may not) be important to the individual, but I'll go out on a limb and say that it is a tertiary consideration, at best, on their decision to transition.
Where are the sources for the assertion that the number "women interested in a romantic relationship with a post op MTF is even lower than the number of women who are interested in men who crossdress..."?
Similarly, by what authority do you assert that "...you will be limiting your intimate relationships to men who aren't interested in any long term type relationships..."?
I am not saying that it's not difficult for a transitioned TS to find a partner/spouse. I'm sure it is, but then there are a lot of difficult things for them. Hell, just going to the bathroom can be a serious issue in some jurisdictions. The point is that none of this seems to be a primary consideration for any of the TS people I know.

And passing? Transition is not about passing. No TS that I am familiar with has "Will I pass?" on their decision tree. "Living authentically" is the phrase you will often hear, not "looking like a real girl".

Look, I understand that there is a spectrum of gender identities. Everyone on it is an individual and will have different issues driving or impeding their pursuit of the identity with which they are most comfortable. Trying to assign those issues to this or that box is a fool's errand.

[Paula DAngelo]

And passing? Transition is not about passing. No TS that I am familiar with has "Will I pass?" on their decision tree. "Living authentically" is the phrase you will often hear, not "looking like a real girl".

Aunt Kelly,
Thank you for repeating this. It's nice to see someone realizes this. I made this same point early in this thread and got the impression that many of the members thought I was clueless and didn't know what I was talking about. Why would I, I'm only a transwoman so what would I know about this.

[KristinaK]

I feel 75% male, 25% female and have the desire to express each of these separately. I am a man, enjoy being a man but I have a fem side that I express through my physical appearance.

[DaisyLawrence]

Aunt Kelly,
Thank you for repeating this. It's nice to see someone realizes this. I made this same point early in this thread and got the impression that many of the members thought I was clueless and didn't know what I was talking about. Why would I, I'm only a transwoman so what would I know about this.

Don't worry Paula, Kelly is not the only one to 'get it'. I am sure the silent majority get it too but just don't post that often, at least I like to think they must.

[AngelaYVR]

Wow Doc, I’m not sure you were expecting such a range of answers! But if I could pass 100% I still wouldn’t take it full time. Although I would certainly enjoy those 100% moments!

[Dena]

My motto is "Never say Never", I would love to be a "pretty" man. I don't think I'd live as a woman if I were though.
For instance, I've never been interested in wearing women's casual clothing.

[Alyssa Lane]

As for me, it would be full or nothing, but It would require everything a GG is born with, our technology hasn’t gotten that far yet, so unless I could completely swap bodies, then any transision is a no, maybe some breasts, but the D is always so challenging to hide.

[Becky Blue]

I don't know if I fit into Doc's definition of posting in this thread as i don't really define myself as a CD.. but i really don't see how the way we look when dressed can make a lot of difference... i am very happy with how I look when I am dressed, that has nothing to do with how far I want or need to take Becky.

People who are TS usually say they did not have much choice in the matter.

[docrobbysherry]

Which is exactly why I intended this thread for CD,s, Becky!

TS's don't have a choice. But, many CD's like me, do! If I dress once a week I'm completely happy and satisfied.
But, if I could pass easily, would that push me to go further!?

[Becky Blue]

Doc, what about the others on the continuum? its not like there are just two types of us girls? i have a choice.. but its not impacted by how good I do or don't look.