Becky, as for my thread there R only 2 types of T girls:
Those that feel they MUST present as women to be who they r and those that don't feel that way!
Maybe I over simplified my post by referring just to TS's and CD's as examples. But that's what I meant!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Doc, your oversimplification is actually the point anyone who feels that there is a possibility they may become TS is not a CD but is also not TS
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
Interesting Becky but does anyone actually become TS or do they in fact just realise they always were TS but didn't know it?
Daisy, i think late is the concept of late onset.. whether perhaps they just never realised not sure...which kind of circles back to Doc's OP and the question if passing makes one realise that one maybe TS.. i don't believe so
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
So you agree with what I wrote, but for some bizarre reason decided to question it anyway?Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
No I don't, and your cherry picked, out of context quote, an obvious attempt to deflect the fact that you can't substantiate this claim...
...does nothing to help the conversation. You have made those assertions. Defend them with facts or at least admit that your evidence is, at best, anecdotal.
Doc, I regret that this topic has gone into the weeds, but respectfully, it was bound to do so because the notion that "passing" would prompt a crossdresser to transition. Crossdressers don't transition. While were at it, let's also clear up what "transition" means, or rather does not mean. It is not simply changing one's body to be more feminine. All the hormone's and surgery one might indulge in don't make one a woman unless that's how you already see yourself. If you still see yourself as male, still live as a male, you have not transitioned. This misunderstanding is quite pervasive here and would like see a much broader understanding of our TS sisters go through.
interesting question. Like "whats the difference between a CD and a TS? Two years."
I don't believe that. I have had extended periods of dressing maybe a week at the longest and mostly after 3 or 4 days I really have to force myself to dress. I still enjoy it and like to think I pass pretty well. and I do at least in my own mind and that's 1/2 the battle.
But I don't think I'll ever want it full time. AThe thrill would be gone.
Thats just me I like to keep it fun and not let it rule me. I know for others it is different.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Well, also respectfully, Aunt Kelly, u r saying what I did in my explanation to Becky. In which I admitted oversimplifying dressers into 2 groups. And, I realize some T's r TS's and CD's, but many r also something else. The point of my thread was NOT to separate TS's from CD's or, to belittle the struggles EVERY T has to make to transition!
The point of my thread mite test your statement that we either, "---feel like women or men". I don't believe that's true! I believe many of us r on the fence between genders. I wondered if passing easily as a woman mite encourage some of the fence sitters to come down off their fences?
I think it's possible that one's negative appearance can be a very intimidating factor. Possibly enuff that CD's, maybe even a few TS's, may not live as women with that being a reason.
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 09-21-2018 at 07:44 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I've wanted to be a woman for as long as I can remember. I remember stealing my mother's pantyhose and making thongs out of boys hanes underwear, haha.
I'm not interested in transitioning though, crossdressing seems to be filling whatever void I have.
I've spent much of my life trying to find as much information as possible about how our minds work, especially anything about sexuality and gender. It wasn't to form some research paper to publish; it was to figure myself out. Though it took decades do to in a world where virtually no one had published much of anything on the subject, I managed to do that. I did not keep a stack of copies in filing cabinets for future reference, nor did I record discussions that I had with people who fall outside the binary world of gender. I came to this forum to share what I've learned since I started learning about all this, back when I was in high school, because while lurking, I found an incredible lack of information here. Even today, the prevailing belief is 'Oh, I was born this way', yet those often cannot explain why for much of their childhood, there was no urge to crossdress at all.
Feel free to disagree with everything I write, but please don't form your opinions just based on what you read on obviously biased web pages and talking to a few TS. You can start with this website, there is plenty of material available in the archived locked threads. Good luck to you.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-21-2018 at 12:18 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Different views, I'm a quite masculine male but feel "girly" and gay when dressed, who knows ?
Sorry, but this is an example of the "No True Scotsman" fallacy. Just saying. We could just as easily say that no man would wear a dress because a true man wouldn't do such a thing.
Sorry, but you misunderstand. Someone who actually transitions is, by definition, something other than a crossdresser. I'm not saying that crossdressers don't change how they view themselves. There are plenty of examples on this forum. I have a personal friend who identified as CD for most of her adult life until, in her words, she "decided" that she was actually TS. We can debate whether it was a decision or a discovery/admission of something that was there all along, but the male who transitions to living as a woman is TS. Yes, hormones and surgery are common, but they do not define the identity any more than do the clothes. And yes, there are lots of us in between. Some have found labels that fit, while others still look for the right one, or don't care.
Same here. It's a complete 180 for me.
I think you're just saying the same thing with more words - No true TS was ever a CD because CDs don't transition. If they transition, they are not true CDs. I don't see that there is any conclusive evidence that there is a strict binary here rather than a continuum. But then again, it's not something I really need to worry about since there is no chance that I'll transition. The idea of transition was only ever an erotic fantasy for me. What I mistook for gender dysphoria was nothing more than sexual longing. I say that as though sexual longing were trivial but it is in fact central to our being.
At this stage of my life (60s) I know that I am now and that I always have been just a crossdresser. So, being a passable form of myself would not push me towards transition. Being super-model attractive? That might get a different answer but it still wouldn't include transition. At my core I'm a male no matter how I'm dressed, or not dressed.
A comment and a question:
1) I know of one transition-minded member of a CD support group I once attended who stated to me that she would never consider transition if she wasn't passable. She was extremely passable and did eventually transition.
2) How do you classify a CD who goes on to transition (thus, from comments above was never really a CD) and then detransitions?
Last edited by Taylor186; 09-22-2018 at 09:47 AM.
No, I am not saying those things at all. The word "true" never appears in my text. That you have chosen to insert it in your paraphrasing of what I wrote is as conspicuous as it is disingenuous.
Aunt Kelly, altho I'm a rare case I'm not unique. U r not allowing for how people change over time and my personal experience proves that. I don't agree with your theory that in every case the CD was a TS because she eventually transitioned.
When I began dressing out of the blue at age 50, I dealt with my issues completely alone. No help from online or extended research. I thot I had turned gay because I thot of sex with men. I wanted real breasts and continually fantasized about complete SRS. Only after 12 years, finding this site and meeting other dressers, and eventually getting my female suit, that I found all I really wanted was to look female, not become one!
So, in a sense, I began dressing as a TS and became a CD. I often do things backwards but u see my point? Which is, u can't pigeon hole everyone into the binary of TS or CD. We all have to take our own road to discovering who we r and what we want. And, there r too many of us in between the male/female genders to make your assumptions!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Again, that is nowhere near what I said. What part of "I'm not saying that crossdressers don't change how they view themselves..." do y'all not get?
Splitting hairs! So what's the accepted time-line for a CD to come to grips that they are really TS? And why can't people get off their high horse and just answer the original question as Doc asked in the spirit that it was asked? Starting to remember why I left this site.
Indeed Angela I hear what you are saying. As soon as I read the OP I kind of knew this was going to end up decending into a pit. And yet the thing is I understand what Doc was asking, oversimplified or not. I'll answer Docs question directly in so far as it applies to me and my experience:
First off am I a crossdresser? I am what I am 24hrs a day, 7 days a week. I have no 'inner woman' or alternative personality that's gets out every now and then. I have never fitted into typical male culture and prefer all things feminine but at the same time have no problem with the fact that I just happen to have male genes. In terms of gender I consider myself non-binary but with a feminine tilt. I do not like to look in the mirror and see a typical bloke looking back mostly because I do not want people (men or women) thinking I am a 'typical bloke'. I want them to know that I am more than that stereotype. However (and here is the rub) I have a genetically male body so if I present in a manner that society considers feminine then I am by default a crossdresser even if I don't consider myself to be crossdressing, Get it? On this basis Docs question can be said to apply to me so here goes with the answer.
As I said above I am what I am and I am happy so there is no real need to be anything else like 'more of a woman'. So lets consider a hypothetical situation. Lets say I am forced to be binary in my gender once again, I am told I must live as a woman or a man and can no longer mix it up or vary my presentation (in this hypothetical scenario). Well I can tell you that in such an instance then this passing issue would be relevant. My femine leaning would make me most likely prefer to choose to live as a woman but as this would be a choice then how easy that would be to accomplish would be relevant. If I was 6' 5" and built like a house with Desparate Dan features and the face of a Neanderthal then this would complicate that option somewhat. If I was 5' 4", hairless and built like a woman with the face of an angel then you may as well start calling me miss.
Ah but I hear you say that does not answer the question because it was a hypothetical situation. That's right so here goes. In reality, whilst not tall or butch looking and being capable of a half decent woman if I try, I am not the easy passer that a very few lucky CD's are. Whilst I am happy in myself and my generally androgenous approach to life I do lean towards the female and would find life as a female to be easier in many ways, both practical and emotional. So, would I go the extra mile and transition if it was physically easy as Doc describes? Well yes I just might but I'll probably never know for sure.
So there you have it Doc. A clear answer. And yes it could just be possible.
Thread back on track
Last edited by DaisyLawrence; 09-22-2018 at 02:11 AM. Reason: spelling
For some, crossdressing is a form of exhibitionism , and they get a high out of it without wanting to transition.
Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.
Rayleen
Nooooo.... Not splitting hairs at all. I have stated things unequivocally, so stop projecting terms like "accepted time-line" or "true TS" on what I am saying.
Daisy (thank you, dear) illustrates what I am saying quite nicely. She does not identify as a woman, and while she speculates about transition, it is nothing more than that, at this point. She has no problem with "the fact that [she] has male genes" and at the same time prefers to present en femme. No, presenting en femme 24x7 is not "transition".
It's a HOBBY to me plain and simple. Started when I was about ten years old.
It does not/has not ever CONTROLLED me and I'm not worried about where I may end up.
I have never felt the slightest need to pass/be or live as a woman. It has nothing to do with whether I think I "could" pass.
None/any of this ^^^ is a put down in any way ,shape or form to others who will obviously have their own feelings.
I like SOME women's clothing items because of the colors/patterns and the way it fits me.
I imagine many MIADS have similar feelings, but not many are going to respond I feel pretty sure.
I would love to be completely passable. It would I'm sure let me dress more than I do now. Would it make me want to transition though, I seriously don't think so. Even though I think that I'm not passable, I am comfortable in my own skin.
A few years ago, another TG girl insisted and argued with me that within 2 yrs I'd be going down the same path as her. Her reasoning was that even then I handled being dressed as my alternative normal, no trepidation or nerves no matter where we went.
If I could, I think I'd like to be the male me and part time Nikki for most of the year, but have somewhere else (a winter place) where only Nikki would be seen and known. I'd love to try it and see how things go. If wanting to be full-time and passable for an extended period make me TG so be it.
Last edited by Nikki A.; 09-22-2018 at 12:28 PM. Reason: Add to answer
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