I don’t want to be a downer, but doesn’t it seem that being a cross dresser sometimes is a very lonely place. It’s wonderful to have this forum and a couple of people that I can talk to openly, but I feel like I am on the inside looking out. Just throwing that out today hoping that I’m not alone. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Underdressed and trying to smile,
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
Yes, I agree it can be lonely but as you pointed out this forum is a great place to come for a little relief. I would love to be out to more people but out of respect for my wife who isn't ready for that there's a fairly short list of people who know I dress. I have made a couple of local friends through this site that I meet up with on occasion for lunch and that does wonders for me.
Elizabeth
Hi Lisa, I know what you are talking about and I also get sad about my own situation. We are all so very lucky to have this wonderful site to go and be with like minded members. I am always underdressed and when I get a little sad I think to myself, hey, I’m wearing panties. That always makes me happier. Crissy
Hi Lisa,
Feeling alone and trapped and misunderstood..what's not to feel happy and upbeat about! Seriously, dark humor may be all we have some days, but the Forum is our lifeboat, or better, our virtual cruise ship!
I have not developed any skill in just letting myself or others have a good cry, and that may actually be the thing that you are doing, and might be something I should do more of.
We are all beautiful...!
Lisa, i agree with you that this can be a lonely life. As you say, that's what makes this place so special. I am only out to my wife, so this forum gives me a place to share thoughts about CDing without overwhelming her.
"The only way is onward. There is no turning back."
Yes it is mostly a singular experience. I have toyed with the idea of letting some family in on my secret, but can't quite get the nerve to. MY wife does DADT, and that doesn't help what so ever. I do love the interaction here and it helps!
https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/
My crossdressing has livened up my social life (off of the internet) just like most of other of my hobbies have (actually even more so). Very rare that I am alone when I physically crossdress.
From my observation, crossdressers that go out dressed with a few CD friends (or even solo) have lots of fun. I don't go out very much, but I know CDs that go out several times per week or more. Of course if one is keeping this a secret from the wife it's not an easy thing to do. Yet, I know one CD that has kept his secret from his wife for decades and still goes out dressed a lot.
There will always be depressing moments. Dwelling on negative thoughts causes negative emotions so try to get out and have some fun.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Hi Lisa, Just remember, When you are here , You are home! >Orchid ..o
o..
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
I do agree a man who needs to wear women's clothing can live in a very lonely world. If it was not for access to the internet I would really feel isolated. Banging away on the keyboard does let me converse with others like me. My wife and I are in a deep DADT marriage. I mean really deep. She is like an ostrich with its head stuck in the ground. No discussions. No barb thrown my way. No snide remarks. Sometimes I feel I would welcome some screaming and yelling and dishes thrown around. When we did have "The Talk" and the dust settled, she did tell me it was alright with her if I found a support group. Back in the early 1980's there was none in my area.
The internet has many outlets to minimize anxiety. This forum. The ability to peruse videos on Youtube. Shopping on the internet. Ebay has been a godsend.
Yes this can be a lonely thing that we do. Being a widower with grown children who live on their own has let me spread my wings and interact with the world as Nikki. If I was still closeted I don't know how or if I would be able to handle it.
Sometimes we have to be true to ourselves and at least we do have this forum to vent.
I was very lonely in my CDing until I started to reach out to other sisters on the forum who mostly lived in my general locale (I now have 86 friends). One became my mentor and told me to 'just own it', which I began to do. I now have several forum sisters who are personal friends, and with whom I've been out. Dive Las Vegas showed me that I could have FUN as a CD, and I made several new friends.
If you want to be less lonely, reach out by PMing others who live in your area, and they may reach out to you, if they know your area. PM me for more info on how to be successful in this and certainly less lonely.
Lisa I don't get as blue as I do when I can't feed the inner urge. This CDng does have a pull to it. Mine also still has a feeling of guilt when think about it and start taking every thing off.
It's ironical that just last night my wife and I had a talk about my dressing and she tried to put the guilt trip on me.
I was going to post a new thread about it, but I did feel somewhat guilty last night before bed time.
I've been blue all day about what she said.
Stephanie...in the words of the ancient Chinese curse: "Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it." Or, to put it another way..."(Her) Silence is golden."Originally Posted by Stephanie47
I'm at the other...i.e. hostile...end of the DADT spectrum. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Apart from those on the forum only my son knows about my CDing, and it is not something we talk about. I do go out but so far without any kind of interaction with anyone. Only through this forum do I have the chance to communicate with the outside world, and especially with a couple of good friends I have made on here.
Last edited by DIANEF; 09-10-2018 at 09:35 PM.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
I know exactly how you feel....
the only limit that u set, is the one u set yourself.
Same here. I am single, and only a few people i have know know, and they do not think it is good. It does isolate me even more from regular people. I would not wish this on my worst enemy, who are my older twin brothers. If they found out, i would need to move yet again, to a place they don't know of, and sever ties for good. I may do that soon, anyway. i am sorry i let them know my new location and address. I like my new place, moved in five months ago, but can see i may need to move again. 50 life moves now! It is a very lonesome life even without the CDing.
I'm sitting here thinking about how fortunate I am to have this supportive group to carry me through a very depressing time. My wife is very ill and requires constant attention. This does not disturb me, but the inability to dress does. She would never allow me to dress in her presence, and I have always fulfilled her wish.
Lisa, one thing I've discovered since I found this forum is that, here it's never a lonely place, here there are always people who are your friends and who will listen and not judge you in any way, after all, whatever kind of relationship we have, from none, through all the various shades of DADT to fully out and about, at some point many of us have the same thoughts that you seem to be having now. No, sometimes this isn't easy, and no, it's not a life that we necessarily chose, so, all we can do, is meet it halfway and seek and take all the support and friendship that this place offers. And, at the end of the day, I for one, would rather be sitting here in a skirt and top than not.
Life is ALWAYS lonely if u hide away by yourself. However, I have found countless friends out there that accept me as Sherry. And, I'm a closet dresser!
Just get out of your home town area and meet other T's! Loneliness issues solved!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Wonderful replies. I know I’m not alone on the Forum, thank goodness. I live in the Deep South...... not the best place to be caught dressed like a girl! Funny how if you saw two gay men shopping at Home Goods for pillow shams, nobody bats an eye. Or two gay women were shopping for lumber and paint at Home Depot- nobody even notices. But if I showed up in a pretty sun dress and cute scrappy sandals my very existence would be in danger. It breaks my heart.
Anyone in North Florida or South Georgia out there??
Lace and Smiles!
Lisa
Lisa, my wife knows, so I can talk to her about it. Thus, I don't feel alone. Prior to that I could feel lonely.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I think it is lonely in the early years if you are in the closet, as you emerge it becomes more gratifying.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I'm still in the closet to pretty much everyone in my world as a male. I was a member of this forum for 4 years before meeting other CDs in real life, and it came about through private messages right here! Meeting others or finding a support group in your area is very possible. CDs are everywhere. There's just fewer of us in some places than others.
I was very depressed during my marriage (for other reasons) and after my divorce I stayed single. Sure, it can get lonely but there are many things I like to do by myself which includes trying on outfits, makeup, wigs etc.
I don't advocate shooting your wife, but if your marriage is depressing, divorce is OK!
Last edited by Ressie; 09-11-2018 at 09:48 AM.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Yes it can be lonely in our world. I have my wife who supports my in my dressing every day.but being an only child I have hat to entertain myself in my younger days . Some times I like being alone.
Angie
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