Right you are, Ressie. Not all of us can go out, for various reasons, but fear keeps altogether too many of us in our closet.
Right you are, Ressie. Not all of us can go out, for various reasons, but fear keeps altogether too many of us in our closet.
It's only as lonely as you make it...……...
I feel blue all the time. I struggle so bad with not being able to be me. I then obsess over it and beat myself up about it. It’s lonely not having anyone near to really talk to for me. I guess that’s the life...
Lisa,
You don't have to feel that way. You're describing some classic symptoms of depression. For those of us with gender issues though, sorting things out is often rather more complex. Seek out a qualified professional and stop being sad.
Crossdressing has been a dark cloud over my life since I was roughly 8 years old. I'm now 50, married, and I still struggle. Although my wife knows and is mostly accepting, I still live every day keeping this deep dark secret from everyone in my life, including my children. There is so much more I could write about how this "affliction" has impacted my life.
Karen, this is the type of post that really gets to me. When I was four years old I developed an unstoppable urge to wear my sister's dresses. I was allowed to put one on and I played for an afternoon wearing it. Since that day, and for the following 50 and more years that urge has never changed, it has never waned. It is exactly the same as it ever was. I, like you, have to keep this side of me hidden away, it's not something that I can share with the outside world, although this is slowly changing. My crossdressing is as much a part of me as my left hand, my right hand even my feet. It is integral to who I am and what makes me, well me. I don't know why, but I never had the feeling that what I was doing was either wrong or that I was alone in doing it. And yes, even though I don't think that it's wrong, I do still keep it a secret. That is one cost that society seems to demand from us. Society seems to say that being a girly man, even in 2018 is still largely taboo. But, even though this is the case in society at large, I don't feel that my secret is a 'dark' secret. How can it be a dark secret when it is something that is so much an intrinsic and innate part of me? Sitting here, dressed as I am, is what I am, it's me simply being me. And so, I embrace that, I enjoy it, I open myself up to it, I allow it to have as large a part in my life as I can, and yet, I keep it secret, but that, for me, is not keeping a dirty secret, it's just me accepting that I, and society in general, are not on the same page on this. I happen to think that society is wrong, but they win simply by weight of numbers. Also, as this is part of me, and I think that I can say, seeing as this developed at the age of four, that it's something that chose me, not me choosing it, that it is not an affliction, it's just who I am. So, for people like us, people who are not part of the out and about wider world, we have to live with the constraints that we have, but the attitude that we adopt to that can make that journey easier or harder for us. At the age of four, I discovered that I wanted to be a girl, but I couldn't be a girl, so I chose the next best thing, being as much like a girl as I reasonably could, and I embrace and enjoy that choice every single day. Yes, for me, it's a secret, but no, it's not dark and it's not an affliction.Originally Posted by Karen's Secret
Have been crossdressing for quite a while alone and not lonely. I find you have to learn to enjoy yourself living alone when you need to.
in crossdressing, they're always something new to experiment.
Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.
Rayleen
I'm feeling blue a lot lately, also a little bit lost. Unlike many others on this forum, even after many years, I still have a hard time accepting me being a crossdresser. To be honest, I still think it's just a temporary thing. The urge to dress comes in episodes and is not with me all the time..
My last episode ended with my coming out to my wife (a week ago). She's not angry but sad. Sad that I kept a part of me hidden from her. Not that she didn't know it at all (I partially came out 10 years ago), but she ignored it and hoped it was not real. Her being said, makes me sad as well.
On the positive side, I don't have to lie anymore or keep my secret from her, so I 'm not feeling like a fraud anymore. It makes everything so complex. I want to see her happy again. I totally understand it's hard for her. She worries for the future, for integrating this cross-dressing in our relationship, ...
She's with me, I can feel that, but she's not without worries anymore. I hope time will make things perfect again.
Liene
Liene, I can understand you feeling a little blue right now, coming out to your wife is a big deal and her at this point not fully understanding it is ok. Very important to keep open to talking about it and let her know you are the same person as ever but with a softer side. Also as said here countless times don’t rush into things, go slowly with any more cross dressing and let her know you love her. This can be a difficult time for you both. Good luck! Crissy
OK. Repeat after me. I have a strong undeniable desire to emulate in a female presence. I've been like this for my whole life and I finally realized it is a wonderful gift.
I'm predominately male and do male things but I've been ingratiated with this wonderful bonus. As like other men, I admire women but, I go the extra mile and actually experience being
feminine and beautiful. And this has been a lifelong, richly rewarding activity. Any aversion to what I do is someone else's personal problem because I have fully accepted myself and my broad gender interpretation
a long time ago.
Every sentence of your post is negative except the wife acceptance one.
As in life itself, you'll have bad days. This is natural and necessary. Otherwise, the good days wouldn't be so good!
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
I'm there too and for the past couple of days I've been really depressed. I can get that way from time to time, but it's been a long time since I felt like this two days in a row. Reaching out to others has always been helpful to me.
We're here for you Jenny. Whatevers on your mind, throw it out there, it's good to talk. I find that bad times are best tackled with fresh air and exercise. Feel the weather, good or bad, on the skin. Standing on top of a hill soaking up the world in front of me makes feel like everything is allright. All the 'bad' stuff seems insignificant compared to what nature has laid before me. Hope that helps
Thank you, Daisy. I think it lifted. I feel better today.
Life in general can be a lonely place from time to time. I was recently "downsized" by a company after giving them the best years of my life. Now I'm feeling kind of isolated because I don't have many friends outside of the workplace. The few good friends I have, have been a huge help in stopping me from spiraling into depression. It's at times like this that you really learn who your real friends are.
Rest assured Lisa, you are not alone. We're all friends here, bonded by a common cause.
B.
I suggest, meet some people that are accepting. Go frequently to your favorite thrift store--the small private ones are best--or maybe a local consignment shop. Tell them you are a crossdresser. Shop there often. Tell them you are a cd at your local unisex salon. Get a makeover at a makeup store or department. Get to know the girls at the wig store. Get to know the girls at Payless or a shoe store. Not all will be accepting, but most will. Be extra nice to them. They will be nice to you. Show them pictures on your phone when you are comfortable doing so.
And yes--try to find a local support group.
Try to meet a local cd for coffee. At Dennys or Waffle House. Drab. You will have plenty to talk about.
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