Liz is on to something , Label it "Computer Virus" on the outside. Mewhahahahahahhaha !
Liz is on to something , Label it "Computer Virus" on the outside. Mewhahahahahahhaha !
If she wants the pictures of her deleted then delete them, it is not your choice. If you had just done that when she asked she would never have got snarky about pictures of you and your 'girly stuff'. Serves you right, lesson learned I hope. Just delete them, why destroy anything unnecesserily, that's just environmental vandalism. Let her see you delete them. If you want to keep your pictrures of you then make a copy first for yourself, that is none of her business.
To me this should have been simple and straightforward: Your pictures are yours, her pictures are hers.
As Mykell says Jaylyn, don't destroy the photos; they're as much your memories as hers. And your wife wasn't a **** to do what she did anyway. The reason you're now in the happy position of having children is precisely because you and your wife had a good "thing" together sexually. You should both celebrate that. And your children will certainly understand: think how you would feel if you discovered something a bit racey about your own parents.
As for the flash drive, it can be password protected, but they're extremely easy to lose and they can also fail. Personally I have all my private stuff in the cloud where it's completely secure and available from anywhere on any device. I use Microsoft because I don't believe they trawl their customers' data for profit like Google. But be sure to enable two factor identification unless you want the stuff seen by Bolivian hackers. And ideally have two or three options for the second factor so that you never get locked out of your own account. I use both the authentification app on my phone plus the phone number itself plus my work email in case I lose the phone. It is also possible to get an authentication key for use as a last resort. This is a large number that can simply be cut and pasted, printed on paper (you'd have to type it in very carefully if you needed to use it) or even saved to the aforementioned flash drive.
What happens to one's data after one's death, I've never looked into as I'm not too bothered about that myself. But your children would certainly never get hold of it.
As an interesting aside, I still have two contacts on LinkedIn who've been dead for years!
I'm not torn, keep the pictures "hidden " in your lingerie drawer. If you are both taken suddenly your children will know you were a red-blooded couple.
Jaylyn, the way my adult daughter explained it to me; she doesn't care a wit about seeing Sherry's clothes and other girly things.
It's the thot of seeing me in them that freaks her out!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
As a photographer for many years, as I ran out of hard drive space, and after a shoot, I put copies of the shoot on two sets of disks, one for myself the other for the model. I also would make copies of files not frequently used onto CD-Rs. I have over 100 archive disks.
I once had a model request six months after the shoot that I purge her pictures out of my files. I did, (after I had written them to a different disk).
About a year later she came back asking if I had the files because she had damaged her copy and really needed them. I told her she had told me to deleted them so I had.
She then asked me if I could recover them from the damaged disk. She had the disk in hand.
With her present, I examined the disk. It was corrupt.
Though it was tempting to bring out the other copy I did not.
I did not tell here that I also had some recovery software that might allow me to recover most of the files. I didn't want to get into the recovery business.
So If you want to keep the photos make a copy and then let her see you physically totally destroy the Flash drive. Stash you stash.
PS. I have many boxes of negatives and prints from my film camera days too. I do not like letting loose of my archives, They are reminders ques to my mind of years gone by.
Last edited by Leslie Mary S; 09-11-2018 at 05:36 AM.
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
I'm not into photography, so I don't feel any special attachment to any pictures I take. The "I took them, they're mine" mindset just isn't there.
It seems to me that if the pictures are of her, then she should have the say about what should happen to them. If she says delete them, then just go ahead and do it.
In the same sense, your stuff (pictures, clothes, whatever) is YOUR stuff, and she should respect your ownership as much as you respected hers.
Do you think that maybe some compromise is possible? Could she let you keep some of the less -um- trashy pictures while you delete the rest - and could you take some steps to make your stash a little less of an issue - like maybe clear out a couple things you don't wear anymore or delete any"Gawd I looked horrible in that getup" pictures you might have?
An interesting equation, password protection on the flash drive, I can't ever imagine you getting rid of them.
As for your clothes, I think the children would understand, there are many skeletons in everyone's closet, and I don't mean just on this forum.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I had this thought about my family finding out about my CDing (they don't really need to know that I'm TG) after I pass on. I asked for ideas from the forum a couple of years ago. One good one was to write a letter to my family explaining things, address it to be opened in the event of my death, and pinning it to my female garb to be seen as the closet slides open. I did that. I am also going to tell all to my sister the next time she comes up. I know she will understand and be supportive and will also be able to explain to family.
Leslie; That's so wrong, to tell someone you have purged their photos and to keep a secret backup copy.
Jenny ; A letter is a great idea
SaraLin; I def understand where you are coming from.
My being torn between deleting and not deleting comes from my ex taking two boxes of family photos and she literally cut me out of all photos. When I asked for copies, she refused to let me copy any. My kids fessed up years later to what she did. I laugh now, so people are a bit off.
But I did purge them off of my computer. She knew about my archiving habit and said nothing about them. I just didn't remind her of the Archives.
I don't have most of that archive due to a fire in the storage building some 10 years later. Along with over 30 of my painting as I was collecting them and getting ready for a one-man show of my paintings. Lost 3 painting of my GG friend Dark AnGGel too. I was a little lucky as I had another 30 some paintings at my sons location.
Last edited by Leslie Mary S; 09-12-2018 at 04:17 PM.
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
Hmm..I can relate. But I am crystal clear in my own situation how I feel about this. I try not to judge, so will only speak from my own perspective. I am totally closeted, as far as I know no one knows of my CD-ing, and I go to great lengths to keep it secret, for many reasons. On the after-death thing..I don't care what most people may think of me if my dressing was revealed after my passing..but in the case of my wife and children, I do care. I don't know for sure how they would react if they found out, but I do know that I have no desire to have them face that information, especially with me not being there to talk with them. I love my wife and kids dearly, we have wonderful relationships, and I want them to be able to remember the husband/dad they know, and not face many unanswerable and likely uncomfortable questions about me that could possibly cause them pain and anquish. I have a system in place such that if I die unexpectedly, all traces of Julie will be disposed of, and my loved ones will not have to add Julie to their memory of me. It gives me a measure of comfort to know this. But..everyone's different.
Julie M., you just wrote, "I have a system in place such that if I die unexpectedly, all traces of Julie will be disposed of, and my loved ones will not have to add Julie to their memory of me."
I'm sure that many ladies here would love to know what your system is, as they may well be in the same circumstance as you. Please share.
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