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Thread: do you dress because the wife doesn't?

  1. #1
    Member jacques's Avatar
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    do you dress because the wife doesn't?

    hello all,
    I have seen many posts here that say that members of this community own more dresses or lingerie than their partners or wives. Several say that they dress in a more feminine or pretty way than their wives. Me included.
    So my question is do we wear the dresses because our partners wear the trousers?
    I know that is probably not the reason we started crossdressing - but would we do it less often if our partners were dressed "en femme" more often?
    luv J

  2. #2
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I'm doubt it would affect the frequency of my dressing or the strength of my desire to dress but I would certainly be appreciative if my wife dressed more girly girl.
    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  3. #3
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    I don't know if my wife and her dressing habits are a direct influence on me, but I own more skirts than her. My lingerie is nicer, and that is more by her choice. I definitely wear skirts more often then she wears skirts, or dresses. She never wears pantyhose, and I would live in them all year if it wasn't for the hot weather. It doesn't matter what my wife wears, I like my lingerie, skirts and pantyhose as the weather dictates.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    I don't think that I dress because of the way that my wife dresses.
    Could it be that those of us that have wives that dress in a more practical manner, married them because of their practicality?

  5. #5
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    No,one thing does not equate to the other in my situation at least.My wife does enjoy a more casual appearance more often than not.but she does dress up too,The love and respect we share isn't dependent on what each other wears

    Sophie
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  6. #6
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I've heard one CDer in my husband's social group come up with this silly excuse. It is nonsense.

    I realize many CDers "don't know why they CD" but blaming it on someone else (wife, SO, or society's way of dressing in general) is really just misleading and deceptive.

    And please, don't try to use that line of reasoning when having "the talk" with an SO. That reason will go down in flames.

    The number of female items that are owned should not really be a competition. If CDers have more femme items than their SO's, it's most likely due to excessive purchasing on the CDer's part.

  7. #7
    Member Ronnie38's Avatar
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    Not at all. In fact, my being a crossdresser has in a way gotten my wife to dress diferently and wear makeup more often. I was online window shopping the other day and she commented that she wanted a new dress so we started looking for her. Was also watching makeup videos and she liked what she saw and tried it out. Looked great on her as well.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member
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    I think if she dressed more girly, I would dress more often. Pretty clothes have been one of my triggers. My sister always dressed a little more on the glam side and this always made me want to raid her closet.
    Sara

  9. #9
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    It's makes me so sad that I'm married to a women that looks great but stopped wearing dresses about 20 years ago
    And now after I told her how much I love dresses and the way women look in them she said she'll never wear one again.

    Just another way to punish me!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  10. #10
    Senior Member 2B Natasha's Avatar
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    My wife routinely wears clothes. In fact. She does it everyday of the week. So no. Her not dressing has nothing to do with what I wear. While not radically different we are none the less different. She is a bit more conservative then I am and has been since the day we statered seeing each other, as friends no less.
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same

  11. #11
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    I agree with every point Char GG made above.

    My dressing in no way has anything to do with my wife.

  12. #12
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    I was wearing dresses long before I met my wife so what she wears has had no influence on my style whatsoever. She used to wear dresses and skirts but for a long time now has been happier in leggings and jeans. That's her choice and I don't make an issue of it.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  13. #13
    Member Jenn_8B's Avatar
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    Interesting theory.

    I think one of the things that led me to dressing was trying to get my wife to dress nicer. We would go shopping for her and I would point out things that I thought she would look good in that were nicer than what she normally wore. She doesn't have to dress nice for work, jeans and a polo shirt or casual blouse. I would point out skirts and dresses. I think this was a trigger for me, probably one of several. Her not dressing nice was definitely not the main reason I started to dress; however, I think it pushed me in that direction.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Robin777's Avatar
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    I will also say that my dressing has nothing to do with the way my wife dresses. I was wearing feminine items long before I was married.

  15. #15
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Jacques, I dressed long before I met my wife and when we met, she was the most girly girl I have ever known.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    My response is simple.........nope not at all. Or nope. Final answer
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I do not have any SO, never had a wife, but women i dated did not own, nor would even wear a dress or skirt. I really do believe not seeing many GG's dressed the way they once did many years ago, has a bearing on me dressing up, the styles and way i wish more American women would. I seldom see any GG's in the town i live in, that wear dresses, hose and heels, or skirts. For me, it makes me want to dress pretty.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Judy, That is very cruel of her! A valid reason to divorce, if you ask me! The marriage vows are broken here. I heard Dr. Laura once, years ago say, that if a mate refuses to look nic for the mate, either one, it is one reason for divorce, that is valid, like FRAUD. You look fantastic in you dresses, and avatar pics. I feel for you,

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    CharGG, We usually agree, but not on this , at least for me, individually. i know we are all different, though. One reason i like to dress up in the styles i like, partly, is because i do not see many dressed pretty in the area i live in. I like the stles of the late 1950;s and sixties. I know if i lived in a big city, i would see many well dressed GG's. I live in small town farming area, and a dress is a very rare sighting, other than the Amish ladies i see a lot. i actually like the way a lot of Amish ladies dress.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwayshave View Post
    Jacques, I dressed long before I met my wife and when we met, she was the most girly girl I have ever known.
    Same here.

    I wanted to dress when I was eight and met my wife when I was twenty-eight, so it was part of me long before she was.

  19. #19
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Sorry gang, cannot agree with a lot of what is being said. Y'all started the dressing thing before you got hitched. You probably married someone that you hoped would dress like the doll you wish you could be and when it either didn't happen or faded away (as in women discover they can be decidedly feminine and cute without HAVING to dress to the nines to please their crossdressing mate), you are using this as an excuse to validate what you have been doing all along.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  20. #20
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    I loved dressing long before i ever loved a woman.

  21. #21
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    Sorry gang, cannot agree with a lot of what is being said. Y'all started the dressing thing before you got hitched. You probably married someone that you hoped would dress like the doll you wish you could be and when it either didn't happen or faded away (as in women discover they can be decidedly feminine and cute without HAVING to dress to the nines to please their crossdressing mate), you are using this as an excuse to validate what you have been doing all along.
    What? You mean some people come here for validation? Still racked with guilt about what they do and needing validation instead of just getting one with their lives? No, surely that can't be true Sara, surely not. Gosh.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member
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    To the OP, a simple no, she wears what she likes and I wear what I like, our tastes are different, but I suppose the imperative is different, she dresses to be decent, warm and comfortable, I dress to express my being a girl which by its nature encapsulates those things which I view as feminine.

    Sara Jessica, No! You're wide of the mark there. How my wife dresses and how I dress were very different from the start and have remained so. There is no way that I'd want her to "dress like the doll [I] wish [I] could be." If there's dressing like a doll to be done, I want that to be my area of marital responsibility, and that's a burden that I'm more than happy to carry. My wife, my partner of over 30 years is my best friend and soulmate, and what she wears forms no part of our relationship.

  23. #23
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    ^^^ I wasn’t talking to you since you hadn’t voiced your blissful situation prior to my post.

    I see the OP premise is just another form of projection that goes on a lot around here, this time on our spouses.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  24. #24
    Member Kiwi Primrose's Avatar
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    I was experimenting with dressing before I met my wife. She helped me but doesn't have much influence on my wardrobe.

  25. #25
    Senior Member StacyCD's Avatar
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    No question that I wear more dresses. However, it’s shoes where there is the biggest difference. My wife doesn’t have a pair of shoes with a heel higher than 1” and I don’t have any with a heel less than 4”.

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