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Thread: do you dress because the wife doesn't?

  1. #26
    Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Not me.
    I dress because it's who I am (at least inside).
    What she wears, or doesn't wear, doesn't have any effect on my need to dress pretty.

  2. #27
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Maybe we are dressing up too much.

    We should all dress with outerwear like our wives so as we don't stand out too much.

    Lingerie is private. :-)

    Wear what you choose.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  3. #28
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    My wife asked that question when she first found out and as I told her NO.

    I told her I was wearing dresses and stockings before she was (I'm a little older). I was wearing them before I began dating anyone. I was wearing them before high school. I was wearing them before we met.
    So all in all, how could it possibly have anything to do with her or anything she does or does not wear?
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  4. #29
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    Sorry gang, cannot agree with a lot of what is being said. Y'all started the dressing thing before you got hitched. You probably married someone that you hoped would dress like the doll you wish you could be and when it either didn't happen or faded away (as in women discover they can be decidedly feminine and cute without HAVING to dress to the nines to please their crossdressing mate), you are using this as an excuse to validate what you have been doing all along.
    That's a very insulting and generalising statement and I'll have to disagree with YOU Sara. I married my wife because I loved her, not because of the type of clothes she wore.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  5. #30
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Then it wasn’t aimed at you, was it.

    Didn’t say my opinion applied to all, only a lot...and admittedly it is colored by sentiments expressed frequently elsewhere.

    I see this premise in the same light as comments suggesting any of us is more feminine than... and that competitive streak that comes out when women are chastised for not dressing in accordance with some sort of antiquated ideal that many here hold to. This thread title is the epitome of such expressions.

    People here complain about wanting to dress as they please but women often get ripped for doing just that.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  6. #31
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Add me to the list of those who dressed l-o-n-g before I met my wife. I told her of my dressing before we wed. She accepted. She is very fashion conscious...much more than I. I wear what I like, looks good and is comfortable. For years, she wore heels, hose, skirts and dresses. Recently, I seldom see her in hose, most of her shoes are flats, sandals or low heels. This is perfectly OK with me. I continue to wear heels, hose, dresses, skirts, underwires, etc. which is perfectly OK with her. We tease each other about our dress modes. She’s been a great help over the years with her support. I thank my lucky stars for her.

  7. #32
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    'Y'all' sounds like it is all inclusive doesn't it Sara...and what gives you the right to presume you know why other people do the things they do?
    Last edited by DIANEF; 09-13-2018 at 11:09 AM.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  8. #33
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    Ummm, I don't think Sara, meant "y'all" to mean everybody but her. I certainly didn't take it that way. As far as presuming, there's no presuming to it. That very thing has been stated on here over and over again.

    As for me, the answer is no. I was dressing before I met her, and she knew it. If anything, the way she dressed influenced me to dress dress much more like her. Early on, I wore her clothes (with her permission). She taught me how to do makeup, and she was the one who rolled and styled my hair most of the time. She was gorgeous, and I wanted to look just like her (well, not exactly like her, but you get the point). I mean, I learned how to stand, how to sit, how to carry my purse, how to get in and out of the car, how to smile... I could go on and on. I don't mean she said, "This is how you do it". I mean that just by watching her and admiring her and being in love with her I just wished I could be more like her. Pretty much the opposite of making up for her lack of femininity by enhancing my own.
    Last edited by DAVIDA; 09-14-2018 at 03:45 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the post right before yours.

  9. #34
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    My wife has never been an influence on what I wear en femme. If it's pretty, my size and not too expensive, I'll pine, "Oh, I just gotta have that." (my closet over flows)

  10. #35
    Member MiniRock's Avatar
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    Absolutely yes. I fell out with my children's mother over cross dressing. But yes, I don't think she would ever believe how sexy she looked in a tight slinky dress. She always thought she was imperfect but she wasn't. And it frustrated the life out of me me. I loved her but she did her level best to destroy me over it.

  11. #36
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Forgot in my earlier reply to say I met my wife online long before I ever saw what she wore and since then have never have had an issue with what she wears

    Sophie
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  12. #37
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    Hi Jacques , Oh how I wish myWife would wear some of my lovely clothes,
    She is a Jeans girl. >Orchid ..oo..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

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  13. #38
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    Since I have been crossdressing LONG before I met my wife, I would have to say that I do not wear dresses because she doesn't.

    I will admit that when I met my wife I wasn't wearing dresses as much as I do now, but I still worn one occasionally.

    Would I stop wearing sexy lingerie if my wife wore some? No I would not stop, I love the way it feels against my body and how it makes me feel.

    Would I be happy if she wore dresses and sexy lingerie....YES! but I love her for who she is and not what she wears.

  14. #39
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I dressed before I even thought about having a wife. I love it when she dresses up. I love it when I dress up too

  15. #40
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Mod Hat on

    Give your opinion and STOP arguing.

    Can we have a discussion without the fighting?

    ENOUGH !!

    Can we please just keep a thread open to hear everyone’s opinions without having to close a thread because of the bickering .

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  16. #41
    Member marlacd's Avatar
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    I did dress way before I met my wife. I grew a mustache just to stop, and put my urges on hold for about 14 years. But I still thought about it. For the most part, I lived sort of vicariously through my new wife. I encouraged it, she wanted to do it. But she got bored with it. My promotion did no good. Then my "Ahem" lovely wife came home with red hair. And with that red came a change of personality. She started to be the woman I didn't want, but I had. That set me off dressing again. I stuck it out for years. I hung onto the I will love my wife, but I was dressing like I wished she would. Then I started to like me dressing. It was a way to get away from being married. Had I not wanted to pursue being married, we might have split about 15 years into it. I was trying while she wasn't. And of course she knew I was. But after boundary lines kept moving, she finally uttered the words- I want out, we split. So now, I dress when I please, do what I want, and keep the woman I like the most-me.
    I don't dress up because I want to be a woman, I dress up to make me happy.

  17. #42
    Member Lynn Sealy's Avatar
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    Since most of us started before we were married, I doubt it.
    Lynne

    You can friend me at on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/lynnesealytx. I don't post often, mainly lurk

  18. #43
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Not in the slightest bit.. my wife has her own style and look and dresses very well.. I have my own tastes and like many woman dress in the way that my figure and body shape enable me to feel and look nice
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  19. #44
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    This question always seems to end in a thread getting locked and members mad at each other.
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  20. #45
    Aspiring Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    The short answer is NO. Like many others I started dressing long before I had a girlfriend, let alone met my wife. However, I am influenced by what my wife wears. She is essentially a very practical person and always wears clothing appropriate for whatever she is doing. This means that following her lead, I can more easily blend on a day to day basis.

  21. #46
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    I'm a child of the 1950's and 1960's. I have to assume the reason I wear only dresses has to do with when I started to form some female identity. Women were seen only in dresses in the area I lived. Women who wore trousers were looked down upon as non conforming. Women also used a social event to "dress up." I see many wonderful looking women in jeans. My wife feels more comfortable wearing jeans and a top. Her nightwear is for comfort unless there is a reason to wear something more alluring.

    My wife and I are in a deep DADT. If I keel over and die today she will be amazed when she finds my wardrobe. Why does he have 160+ dresses? Hundreds of panties? Literally hundreds of slips? My answer is I would have less, if I had the opportunity to wear them more often. Acquiring womanly garments is a form of retail therapy. It the same reason for why I am on this site. It gives me an outlet to express myself in activity which does not enjoy wide acceptance.

    As far as the clothes go on a woman, clothes do not 'make a woman.' Sex appeal has much to do about how a person acts and presents his or herself. I've encountered a lot of attractive men and women who destroyed that image as soon as they opened their mouth.

  22. #47
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    I've always dressed lady like, feminine like my hair a certain way and my make up. My SO would love for me to wear more skirts and dresses He loves skirts, me on the other hand...UGH....unless it's a special occasion forget it. I want to be comfortable give me capris or jeans and a nice blouse. I'm to old for one ( 55 ) and overweight to pull off the short skirt any more...love me for who I am...don't try to make me something in NOT! He or "she" likes to wear what she likes and I like what I like...be lady like age appropriate and not trampy is all I ask.
    Just taking one day at a time, trying to be a better person
    today than I was yesterday.

  23. #48
    Aspiring Member jenna116's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jacques View Post
    So my question is do we wear the dresses because our partners wear the trousers?
    Not in the least. In fact, I dressed long before I ever met my wife. All my girlfriends since high school have been just typical girls. Dressed in jeans or dresses appropriate for the location/occasion. My wife is simply a woman. She wears woman's things. Be it capri's, jeans, dresses, whatever.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  24. #49
    Member KatrinaK's Avatar
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    I’ve been aware of my gender confusion since I was about 6, so no. But i feel like I’ve noticed that the most successful marriages I read about here are with either tomboys or really open minded girly girls.

  25. #50
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    No my wife dresses fine and I still like to dress lol.

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