who controls your legacy....

[mykell]

so we had a recent thread about friends and family finding out about our true "selves" after we pass, i always suggest a letter in our stash as a proper way to honor our spouses at the very least.

now some stated they had laid out plans.
others did not care as they would take the secret to the grave.
and some didnt care "hey were dead" it wont matter,
my friend knows what to do when i die. ect....

BUT what if you die while dressed, house all to yourself so dig out the stash for a little "you" time the big HA happens and wife, son, daughter, whoever comes home and your laid out on the floor with your tongue hangin out. The neighbor calls police as they havnt seen or heard from you in a while and the house is emitting a pungent scent and its not your perfume.

some of us venture out into the wilds and are not out yet or may never be, BAMM a dump truck driver has the heart attack and plasters your vehicle into a oak tree,

sorry about the morbidity and horrific scenes but you cant back peddle and your in your favorite finery

wouldnt it be easier to leave a more favorable legacy by not taking things for granted.

it just kinda bothered me reading some replies how some just figured things they had planned would do the trick....i dont think you can cover all the bases by yourself....you may be dead but your loved ones are left to wonder WTF....

[DaisyLawrence]

And the simple solution to all this is to be yourself and have no secrets from anyone (or live forever). The bottom line is that if any of this is a secret to any people then there is always a risk that it will come out in the wash, regardless of how well you think you have the bases covered. It's just one of the many many risks we take everyday. Worry more about what you can do to minimise the chance of that heart attack!

[Jaylyn]

Mykell in answer to your question after your gone your legacy I would think is how people remember you while living. My answer is you control your own legacy. I'm not out but my wife knows and she would probably have it written in the obituary about me. He was was an avid CD. She has taken a 180 degree turn on my dressing and I did down size but just couldn't give it up. I kept just enough to get my fix without stirring up too many suspicions. For those of us that are not out and family acceptance your last part is simply put WTF.

[t-girlxsophie]

My wife has told me that if I go first,she will not hide from anyone the fact I was a Crossdresser,I support her in this.I hope that I lived a decent enough life that no-one would find this a reason not to attend my funeral, If they do well it ain't going to make a difference to me,or indeed my wife

Sophie

[Robertacd]

If finding me dead in a dress changes someone's opinion of me from "I am going to miss him" to "Burn in Hell, you freek". They were never my friend to begin with, same goes for family.

[DaisyLawrence]

If finding me dead in a dress changes someone's opinion of me from "I am going to miss him" to "Burn in Hell, you freek". They were never my friend to begin with, same goes for family.

Nailed it Roberta

[RADER]

When you pass on, there is nothing you can do about other peoples opinion of you.
Either they will remember all the good things, or just only the unpleasantness of you.
In any way you look at it, you will not be there to see it.
Rader

[AngelaYVR]

I told my mum a while back in case such a situation should occur as I didn't want her to have a double shock. My gf also knows. Apart from that, I just hope the toe tag matches my nail polish. My great-uncle died while wearing women's undies and he is still well regarded so I'm not too worried.

[Jane G]

Though I'm not out there to the greater world, there would be no surprises or shock to any one of my immediate family.

The one thing I have become more carefully about, as I have matured and thought about the possible scenarios, should I pop my clogs unexpectedly, is making sure all my fem bits and bobs, cloths pads, jewelry, makeup, are always clean and tidy when not in use.

[Allisa]

I always thought that I'd make a video of me in male clothing(3 piece suit)just for shock value explaining my will and than when it came to dividing up my earthly possessions I would excuse myself and have a musical interlude of my fave songs then reappear as myself(en-femme all black dress with veil, it is a funeral after all, with my stipulation of how I was to be dressed for my cremation.

[dana digs sweaters]

If I go out while dolled up

"DANG! That B_tch can dress!"

[Fran in skirts]

Well when I do kick the old bucket I will be wearing my regular clothes, IE: Skirt or dress and so everyone will know. Most of the people who know me know about my dressing and are either fine with it or not. As to which one I do not care a fig. My youngest daughter will be taking care of all of the arrangements anyway and she has said what ever I want will be OK.

Fran

[mykell]

If finding me dead in a dress changes someone's opinion of me from "I am going to miss him" to "Burn in Hell, you freek". They were never my friend to begin with, same goes for family.

i guess my point was to give yourself the last word and explain why you kept it under the radar. i think on this particular forum we tend to tally in the older years in any surveys so many of us tend to have keep it under wraps. we had much more to loose in our younger years with societal tendencies.

my wife knows and i still update the letter from time to time. also had a separate one for my son, i guess since the first thing folks think is are you gay. a lot of the gays and trans girls do have a tendency to have aids, that alone was important for her to know that first and foremost i took my vows seriously and never wavered and was always faithful.

your mileage may vary....

[Tracii G]

What a depressing thing to do.
I would think your kids would remember you the way you are.Why pile more on them after your passing?
If you are closeted and married why would you even bother?