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Thread: The last seven years

  1. #1
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    The last seven years

    Hello there, I wanted to take a moment to say hi to my TS forum sisters! There are many new people here since the last time I posted. I started this journey about seven years ago and it has been the most painful and affirming thing I have ever done for myself…so far. If I’ve learned anything in the last 43 years its to never say never (or more aptly, never say that it can’t happen to you!) I’ve been schooled on this point so many times as to be in danger of being stupid! Anyway..

    So much has happened I wouldn’t know where to begin. Well, thats a bit disingenuous, I did find a place to begin, it was here, as you can see, more than 7 years ago. To think! In my 20s I thought I was too old to transition!
    Ok, maybe I am stupid. In either case here I am, older, a little wiser, and pretty tired, I have to say.

    Everyday I get up and do it again. I do not regret transitioning for a second. I do often wish the world were a different place with more love and less angst but somehow I’ve managed to maintain a 51% hope to hopelessness ratio in all of this madness. My own and the worlds.

    I’m not going to lay a “bio” on you here but I plan on being around more. I miss you guys! Ask me anything, If I have experience with it I will share, if you want it, I might even give you my opinion. I’m going try to steer away from specific advice though. I’m happy to share what has or hasn’t worked for me but if I’ve learned nothing, at least I have (mostly) figured out its better to sit back and be amazed by the beauty that unfolds around us than to try to manipulate a particular outcome. Turns out that crystal ball I saved up for in grade school is a fake! Darn gypsies!

    I would like to take this opportunity to make one happy announcement though! My Husband and I married in May! I never thought I’d want to BE married (again) let alone find SOMEONE to make the question more than just academic. Somehow he even managed to surprise me with “popping the question” in spite of us talking about it in pragmatic terms for weeks! He’s such a cutie : )

    I’d like to offer you this song I was inspired to create recently as a symbol of my love for everyone in the Trans community. Sometimes it seems we get so caught up in our petty squabbles with each other over our differences that we fail to see that for the most part, WE are all WE got! We should treat each other better.

    https://soundcloud.com/greybirdrain/lost-highway2

  2. #2
    Member Carolina's Avatar
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    Just married? Congratulations!!!
    Wow, That’s something that never ocurred to me as possible for some of us, congrats!! I’d be happy to do a repeat wedding with my wife in a place like Vegas, but this time me wearing the bride’s outfit. Well, keep dreaming I guess...
    But for you, well done and congratulations again!

    Looking forward to learning more about your general experience over these last seven years and advice

    Best

    Carolina

  3. #3
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Welcome Back April. I remember when you had a lot of rain and bad weather. So happy to here this joy and contentment in your words and do hope that you enjoy your stay and get reconnected with other "old" timers here.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Congratulations for the marriage! and the song is very good

  5. #5
    Nikki Windsor nikkiwindsor's Avatar
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    April, so happy for you and your recent marriage to a wonderful husband! Nikki p.s. I might just take you up on asking you anything.
    Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
    http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
    For the first time, outdoors during the day:
    http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg

  6. #6
    Member Jamie Christopher's Avatar
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    Thanks for the post April and the kind offer to learn more. Wishing you all the best,

    Jamie
    At the makeup counter

  7. #7
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carolina View Post
    Wow, That’s something that never ocurred to me as possible for some of us
    Carolina
    Carolina, I never would have thought it possible for me seven years ago either! but beyond that, I never thought I'd want to again!
    I knew he was the one when I had to look UP to see his eyes
    I'm 5' 11 3/4" most guys aren't that much taller than me. My husband is 6'6" He wears a size 16...mens.

    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    Welcome Back April. I remember when you had a lot of rain and bad weather. So happy to here this joy and contentment in your words
    Hi Allie! good to see a familiar... Avatar? Unfortunately the forecast is calling for more rain and heavy clouds, I'm sure a few lightning bolts will get tossed around as well.
    I moved to Seattle June 2017. Moving away from my kids was a difficult decision to make. I had to take care of me and everything about Cincinnati for me is a soul sucking death trap but hey at least the weather sucks!
    unfortunately I've had to hire several lawyers to A. fight my ex to have my visitation rights restored and B. fight my parents and uncle who are trying to screw me out of quite a lot of money. As soon as the ex learned about my husband being in the picture she started refuseing to let the kids come see me When I went there she and my PARENTS colluded to whisk them off to Florida while my husband and I were supposed to be seeing the kids in Ohio!
    Anyway when it rains, it Aprilrains

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbara Dugan View Post
    the song is very good
    THANK YOU
    This is what I do, I write, play, record and produce my own music. Now if I could just get around to the marketing part..

    Quote Originally Posted by nikkiwindsor View Post
    I might just take you up on asking you anything.
    OH! GOODIE! my favorite subject!

    Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I look forward to getting to know those of you I haven't met and reconnecting with those I have.

  8. #8
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    Welcome to Seattle and the beautiful Northwest. I always miss Seattle when gone for to long (but not the traffic)

    Congratulations on your marriage. You sound very happy!
    The Psychology of Conformity
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARGczzoPASo

    Mars brain, Venus brain: John Gray at TEDxBend
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuM7ZS7nodk

  9. #9
    Member Mirya's Avatar
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    You have a nice singing voice! Developing a female voice is one thing, but being able to sing in a female voice is like a whole other level!

  10. #10
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    it was with singing that I practiced my voice when I first started transitioning.
    Mostly to Taylor Swift. I love the song “Drew Talks” it was one of her earlier hits. Such a great “cheesy teen romance” pop song.
    Last edited by Aprilrain; 09-17-2018 at 01:29 AM.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member MarieTS's Avatar
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    April, welcome back, and I do remember you and missed your insightful posts. Mirya made a good point about your voice. I have also tried the singing method but never had your results.
    Marie

  12. #12
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    That song is about as low as I can sing before my voice cracks. I find it easier to sing in a higher key. I tried Lost HighWay in the next octave up. 1 it just didn’t sound like I wanted it to and 2 that particular take I provided the link to was “the take”
    Sometimes I try a song over and over and over because I got the perfect take except for a minor mistake or two but in trying to achieve perfection each successive take either just gets worse and I get frustrated or I get it perfect but the magic is gone. I’ve learned not to do more than 10 or so takes before either using one I got or putting it aside for another day.

  13. #13
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    Nice to see you again, April. And congratulations on your marriage!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  14. #14
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Welcome back, April! You have a nice singing voice! I like your song! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  15. #15
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone! so glad you like the song, I have at least a dozen songs up on Soundcloud, I need my creativity to start paying!

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Dorit's Avatar
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    I joined the forum four years ago, so I never met you. I am happy to meet you now, you seem to be such a sensitive and expressive person. I have already appreciated your posts and music. This is an awesome place, where people such as ourselves after decades of misunderstanding and denial can find soul sisters to share our lives with. Welcome back, you are a peach!

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member MarieTS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrain View Post
    That song is about as low as I can sing before my voice cracks. I find it easier to sing in a higher key. I tried Lost HighWay in the next octave up. 1 it just didn’t sound like I wanted it to and 2 that particular take I provided the link to was “the take”
    Sometimes I try a song over and over and over because I got the perfect take except for a minor mistake or two but in trying to achieve perfection each successive take either just gets worse and I get frustrated or I get it perfect but the magic is gone. I’ve learned not to do more than 10 or so takes before either using one I got or putting it aside for another day.
    You've inspired me. I am going to try the same routine. At the very least, despite my singing range, the activity ought to improve my over all femme speech capabilities.
    Marie

  18. #18
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    I really don't know if it would be helpful for anyone else but worked for me!

  19. #19
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    April! So nice to see you here again! And congratulations!

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