https://www.aane.org/gendervague-int...s-experiences/
There are a couple of articles on this at AANE.org
Recently I have seen a therapist specializing in autism spectrum issues.... His evaluation is that I am on this spectrum, and it sure explains alot of my habits, routines and communication style...
my grammar and spelling issues(ie cant be bothered)... my math and music lizard brain...my non interest in relationships .....how pragmatic thinking rules my life...how im obsessed with I care about and completely unable to generate any interest or patience for what im not... my interest in flight paths and schedules... etc etc....groups distress me, even though I was forced to learn to be in groups my whole life...
how I sit and stand in strange positions and twirl my fingers..itch and touch myself in front of others... go on and on about obscure things I remember to the point of being told to shut up, then continue to go on and on..
how I feel like im not a person, that I just learned to copy people (exceptionally well if I do say so myself)...that copying does not include any comfort with intimacy...I thought post transition that would clear up but it didnt at all...
it just doesnt occur to me that I or anyone else would be interested in a relationship..I guess that's kind of sad, but I'm not actually sad....I just wonder about it and leave it at that...
maybe TMI but I wonder if there are some out there that may resonate with some of this..
anyway...the articles include some thoughts on the idea that autistic kids are being told they are not trans...even tho there is seemingly a link between the two... and the idea of gendervague is a very interesting...
as someone that transitioned , I have always felt my deep shame and anxiety around my nature is why I have been pretty reclusive and why I've had trouble calling myself a woman even though im delighted and totally happy I transitioned...even though I feel totally like ive always been "this way", I cant spit out the words "I am a woman" and truly internally believe it.... I wonder if its just my brain works in this different way that's characterized by what we call autism spectrum....that its not only a trans issue, that my trans nature is real but I go through this other thing, that is that the way I experience being a person is just a little bit different than most people..ironically if this is true, it does explain why I found transition so easy, I just pressed the button , followed the path and came out the other end...I didnt worry about it...pragmatism ruled...just do it baby....the surgeries were just necessary procedures that I did with very little planning and thought once I decided...all my thoughts were about deciding...but once I decided...game over... and once I decided I can say to this day I never thought about it again other than to share with others and acknowledge that it happened....
anyway....done rambling...lately been interested in this topic so I throw it out there...