I have been crossdressing for many years and have urges to be with a man and experience the female side of sex but have suppressed ituntil now. The urges are getting greater but I don't know how or where to go to experince the affair I am looking for. Any help out there? Jennifer
You don't know how or where?
How did you go about having sex with women? Where did you go to find a sex partner previously? I think those would be the place to start.
Hi Jennifer! I have read and realize that for many, it is a fantasy that some do choose to live out. Only thing that i can say is that be careful, use protection, and it may not be what the fantasy actually is, and sometimes, the fantasy should remain just that...a fantasy. I did notice that you put in a previous post years ago that you are "bi" so i am kind of confused here...
Jennifer all kind of sites out there. Google crossdressers admirers or alterative lifestyles. You should find something.
Jenn, most of us have had fantasies of being a woman with a man. Mine confused me for years. I thot I had suddenly turned gay!
But, parts is parts. That's how I worked it out. I was attracted to the idea of being a woman at the mercy of a man. But, NOT attracted to male parts! I was simply a straight crossdresser off fantasizing!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I have to pick you up on this one Doc, I would say most of us haven't had any such thing... I would say 90% of the girls i know have no sexual interest in men... myself included..Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Jenn, most of us have had fantasies of being a woman with a man. Mine confused me for years. I thot I had suddenly turned gay!
As for the OP, you gotta do what you gotta do, life is too short to ponder.. just be very careful out there.
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
Oh, Lord! I too have those fantasies at times! Sometimes I feel I want to belong to a sweet man and make him so happy, maybe as my husband! Oh, what do I do?
Roxanne
As Sweet As I Can Ever Be
I too have thought of this fantasy but quickly realize I can never feel all the feelings of a woman because I an neither physically or mentally totally wired as a woman. With out that, then I can NEVER totally feel all a woman feels. So the fantasy stays a fantasy.
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
Hi Jenn,
I had the same urges and desires. And I acted upon them. It was awesome. I have never regretted it. I felt sooooo feminine. Just get to know the guy a little bit beforehand and you will love it. The only problem is that once you experience it you will want to do it again and again. I know. I have had three encounters with guys. Makes me want to do it again.
In recent years this began to be a strong urge for me as well. There was a huge interest on craigslist from straight men for crossdressers. A couple ads I placed got over 200 responses. I was only offering oral. Doubleist is not as highly frequented but still has a large number of straight men looking for crossdressers. A lot of guys looking for something girls won't give them. I have to talk to someone for a while and do some vetting, but I'll meet someone every few months. Kind of a high having a lot of men pursuing Mirima.
I miss Craigslist. I was extremely careful but was able to find several men
I think a lot of us end up having those thoughts. Thankfully, I have a wonderfully kinky and very supportive wife. We've been able to fulfill a good number of fantasies in the last few years (before we get any older) and I am hopelessly in love with her and always will be. That said, she has discovered her bi side and perhaps that explains why she has always been so understanding with my dressing, and downright supportive - yes, I consider myself very fortunate.
She has had a couple of gal pals in the last six years or so, and we introduced a third-wheel guy into the relationship several years ago that did allow me to fulfill some of my fantasies too, but hers were always paramount. I wouldn't call us "swingers" - we don't just get out there and openly engage in that stuff, but, we have allowed other people into the bedroom after a long and careful process of dinners, outings, and befriending them. Both my wife and I have the "damsel in distress" fantasy firmly stuck in our heads, and I got to share that experience with her a few times with that one fellow. It was really quite amazing. I don't think myself gay at all, I LOVE everything about women, but there is something terribly exciting about being submissive to a dominant fellow when dressed (and semi-dressed) and I certainly hope to have those experiences again.
As others have said, many have these fantasies. Does looking at a man's body get you sexually excited so it could be seen? If not, then it probably is just a fantasy that you want a man to treat you like a woman, but not to have sex with them.
Hugs, Ellen
It was awkward but had admirer and it (sex)became easier.I had the same urges and desires. And I acted upon them.
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
Hmmmm.
What are you doing Friday night, Jen?
..... just kidding.
Hey, I completely understand. These feelings are common. I have them. Don't act on it....especially if you're in a marriage or relationship.
If you are looking for a first time experience or to hook up, please be careful out there. I have a few gay bars (mostly a lesbian bar) I frequent from time to time, and it's a fine safe place. But bars, IMO, are horrible places to develop a relationship or find someone suitable to fairly & decently entertain your experiment.
Good luck.
There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.
Hi Jen,
I would agree with most everyone here that it is definitely something you should proceed with caution in doing. At the same time I completely understand and harbor a very strong desire to be with a man and from what others have intimated it would probably be a lovely experience in the right circumstances. What I thought was so profound is that it was something that had never even crossed my mind until recently and only after I began cross dressing again along with getting a lovely wardrobe, all the accouterments and developing the skills to transform into Felicia. I hope you find what you are looking for.....
I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song.
Rainer Maria Rilke
https://www.flickr.com/people/170325405@N05/
It is when I read something like this that my mind wanders to oh so sweet thoughts. I do enjoy being Roxanne - so much.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
Just to, well, be my feminine self. Roxanne
As Sweet As I Can Ever Be
I followed up all those urges in my 20s, and am glad I did. Mostly my partners were just nice sweet guys and I am super happy to draw on those experiences- as the memories are enough so i know what it is like and can more easily forgo it now and relive the moments in my fantasies.
Years later I realized how incredibly fortunate I was to have unknowingly played Russian roulette with AIDs so many times and won. There are lots more STDs now and I wouldn't take that chance again. So protection is super important, even with highbrow partners. You really have to get to know someone before you have a clear idea about STD potential. This is a drag, since it unprotected sex is really what delivers the intimate fleshly pleasures and lets us feel what we are seeking.
The bad part is that the sexual satisfaction we want so badly doesn't last- we want to do it again, to repeat, or to change this or that. But in one night stands we are betting against some serious odds. After the STD risks became known, I made a promise to myself not to expose myself again, but placing myself in temptation, my promise vanished. Afterwards, I lived in serious dread for months, having risked trading off my health and ability to partner with a future wife and have a family, for what was less than a minute of fantasy fulfillment. That cured me of thinking with my arousal hormones.
The other big thing is that real human being men have feelings, and objectifying people as sex objects really isn't satisfying. If you have had sex with women, think of the complications. Much of the experience with men will be the same- the dance of communicating intent beforehand, the misunderstandings, the awkward parts, the pain, the confusion of sensations, the newness, the messiness, the after its over awkward parts, and more importantly, the shall we see each other again, and the fact that it usually isn't a relationship that is going anywhere.
Yes, I got to be the woman, and it was a deep and impactful experience. But it isn't fun to have a bunch of people in my life that I didn't really know, and where we [even though it was friendly and uncomplicated at the time] used each other, and now I have to forever depend on them not surfacing again.
I have discovered to my relief that sex play with toys is more reliably better paced, less complicated, more to the point, and much safer than with real people- if I am looking for emotional role play and sexual satisfaction. It removes the need to use others as sex objects, or be used. And it works well as a sex fantasy practice that is not competing with my real spouse.
If I were seeking an LTR to hopefully experience what ellbee did, I'd go to gay meetups and outdoor activities and get to know the variety of men. I would take time to develop my awareness of my feelings, enjoy friendships first and let the sexual part develop in an atmosphere of trust and positive intimacy. That way I could actually have more and better sex, and not succumb to the Russian roulette danger of changing partners all the time.
I found that generally gay men were not attracted or turned on by my feminine clothes, but gently understood them as symbolic of my wanting to be the feminine partner. That said, i didn't get much time dressed up. I get far more satisfaction in that area just from wearing my dresses out and about and enjoying my flirtatious walk. In my experience the "straight" men looking for sex were conflicted and wanted fast secret sex- I'd choose a gay man who is out and comfortable with himself any day over that option for a relationship.
Last edited by phili; 10-02-2018 at 02:46 PM.
We are all beautiful...!
Its a fantasy because you are a male and don't have the right parts to feel it as a woman would.
If you wish to live out your fantasy just be very careful and wear/have him wear protection.
Sometimes you need to hear its a fantasy and leave it as such.
If you are gay thats one thing but if you aren't gay why then why?
If you are thinking you might be gay then you aren't because if you are gay you would know it already.
Tracii,
As far whether one knows whether or not they're gay, not picking on you, but weren't you married a couple of times to women?
In a word "Don't", Most spouses will not appreciate having an affair. It's a great way to turn a happy marriage into an expensive divorce.
Oh yes we do...
I used to have a short attention spa
I think you know what Tracii meant. A vagina. You don't have one so you can't feel what it's like to have "traditional" male/female sex. Of course you can have anal or oral sex with a man but you don't have to dress up as a woman to do that. By definition, that would be "gay sex". Not that there's anything wrong with being gay but strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change the fact that you are a male having sex with another male. Gay sex.
I think a lot of us have a fantasy of being a woman and having sex with a man but it's just that, a fantasy. I have had those fantasies myself but in my fantasies, there's just the male organ, never a male body or face attached to it. I've never seen or met a man I would want to even kiss, much less have sex with.
I'll finish by saying that if you (or anyone) is gay, that's fine. I don't mean my post to insult gay men, I'm just saying that disguising yourself as a woman doesn't change anything.
Krisi
What are your thoughts on a pre-op TS (in the female role) having sex with a man?
Do you consider that gay sex, as well?
Try reaching out to other local crossdressers. I am sure you will find one who has the same thoughts and desires as you. It worked for me, and I have no regrets. Good luck, and enjoy!
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