You got it all 100% correct.Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
You got it all 100% correct.
I got my fair share of abuse from some in middle school. One guy even made up a song about me featuring the word faggot (sorry if that’s not allowed here). I always thought it was because I was the new kid— not many from my grade school were in my class— and I was a little younger than most. I did not seem effeminate and wasn’t interested in things girly until years later. By the time I got to high school people went their separate ways and it stopped
Growing up in the Bronx I was bullied and made fun of almost every day, in and out of school. I didn't have the means or strength to fight back. This in turn made me a loner and that increased the bullying. By the time I was headed for high school which was a 5000 South Bronx all boy school, I just couldn't handle it so I dropped out. And this in turn forced me to run away from home. But I didn't have to run very far, just a subway ride to Times Square. The bullying didn't stop just because I left home, now the bullying could be called abuse. While I was also abused when young it was nothing like when I ran away. Even when I settled down with a BF, he bullied(abused) me. So in all I have been bullied all my life until the last 5 years or so cause now I have little contact with the outside world. Oh, there is online bullies but I can always turn the computer off. All the bullying was a result of me being different and then from others later in life who saw this and took advantage of me.
In solitude where we are least alone. Byron
I have never been bullied and I had my share of fist fights growing up. I was always big and most every one left me alone. I remember my best friend getting picked on by a group that was suppose to be the in crowd and them pushing him around a little. I stepped in and from then on they left home alone but I did knock the head guy off his feet and proceeded to give him a bloody nose. I was and am still not femme in shape even in my old age. I did all the rougher sports in school, football, rodeo, and even tried a little rugby and swimming. It seemed like growing up on a farm/ ranching operation just made one tough and others didn't mess with myself or my friends. I guess really we never knew what bullying was but we just like in many breeds of animals did have a pecking order. We knew who we could mess with and those who we couldn't. I seemed to be the one that the lower pecking order came to if they were being pushed around. Today some of the teasing that people call bullying just made us tougher in the good old days... Lol
At the time I did not think that I was being bullied.
Many years later I realised that I had forced myself to try to conform to what many of my peers considered normal. I know that being different would have been hell for me. Apart from when England hosted and won the World Cup for soccer in 1966, I had no interest in soccer and still don't but I felt compelled to express support for a team, that was what was expected. I chose a team because I liked the name and not because of any particular connection. As for the cakes in my school lunch box, I could never have admitted that I had made them, even when those that I brought into share with the class on my birthday were devoured and savoured. Thankfully none of my class mates ever came to my house, because my mum would have let the cat out of the bag if my cakes were served for tea.
Also, looking back I recall many instances when my diminutive (short and chubby) stature was the butt of some jokes, even from teachers right though secondary education. Some were surprised on meeting years later that I had grown 4 inches when I was 19 - 20. It was costing me a fortune in buying new jeans and trousers, so when I bought a pair of purple corduroy girls bib and brace, that was the fashion at the time in Holland where I was staying, I thought it would save me money as I could lengthen them as I grew, instead I was thrown out by my homophobic uncle, with whom I was lodging, as he ranted about me wearing girls clothes. Strangely he loved the English cakes and pies that I made, maybe one of the reasons he asked me to come back a few days later.
All of those experiences made it more difficult for me to leave the closet, the bullying had conditioned me to fear what could happen if you don't conform to "accepted norms". Now, with the support of my loving wife I can occasionally venture out into the world as Rachel.
Rachel,
As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.
oddly enough, not in high school but yes in middle school. Until I broke the arm of one of my tormentors. Who was the "star" running back on the school football team. He decked me, then went to jump on me. I had landed such that my feet were up and as he jumped he landed square on the bottoms of my feet...and I pushed. He landed about 10 feet away on his head and arm. I was never "bullied" again.
I would have thought the way I dressed in high school would have caused some issues but it never did. By the time I was a senior my hair was black, straight and mid-lower back, I presented at best "androgynous" (for the time) in clothes that were all girls. But I guess by high school I was running with the "right" crowd in the choir and, while not a "Teacher's pet" I was one of the Asst. and Principals "pets". Five of us in the choir (boys and girls) were always available for deliveries, pickups, or what ever (papers, people, didn't matter) so there were times when we might miss most of a day of school doing "errands" for the Principal or someone else. Grades, that's what kept us safe I guess. While I didn't make it as an "honors" student ("missed it by that much" as Maxwell Smart would say), one of our group was Salutatorian.
That almost made me cry - so yep, count me in on that one. Oh. And apparently I'm a crier as well
Last edited by Eemz; 10-23-2018 at 06:35 PM.
I never got bullied although I do have a slight build. I was well coordinated and a good baseball player so I just went with the flow and never expressed my feminine side. I had always wanted to take ballet but this was the 1960's and my parents and others always had negative comments about male ballet dancers. Times have really changed and while its not perfect it is a lot better.
Too bad so many of us had to endure bullying when we were young for nothing other then being a little different.
Jennifer in Co, your post made me smile and the result for you was no more bullying.
Crissy
I was just bullied, simple as that. All through primary and secondary school. At work and at leisure. Still to this day it effects me and i just can not work out what it was about me that attracted the bullies. I have from a young age hated being around groups of boys/men in any shape or form and certainly do not seek out male company. I always found solace in the company off woman.
Maybe the male beasts sensed that in me, who knows.
So sorry to hear that, Amelie, and it’s heartbreaking that you still have to sequester yourself to avoid bullying and abuse. I’m glad you’ve got this forum to interact with the sisters here, and I pray that you can find joy and happiness.
In the meantime, I’m curious about what happens when you do interact with the outside world. How does that go? Do you present as a guy or a girl, and are you treated okay?
Warm regards,
Nell
Hi Nell. Nowadys I feel good living alone and not going out that much. It gets lonely at times but I like living this way now. I rarely go out cause I live so far from any stores. It would take me almost all day to walk to the local store and back. But I do have a nice couple that live nearby that take me every now and then to a Walmart and such.
I never was like this. I lived most of my life in the cities and went out as a woman all the time. As I said my BF from Baltimore would be abusive but there was a trade off. He was kind of a bad guy so other people in the hood left me alone. It was trading one type of abuse for another, lesser of two evils maybe? When I lived in NYC many years ago, I would go from being a woman to angrogenous person with no clear gender showing, a sort of Pete Burns/Boy George type.
I know people stare at me and say things when I go out but I don't talk to many people, not even cashiers. I just buy my stuff and then leave. Also having a sort of Goth look creates stares, sometimes I get the feeling they are staring cause I am goth not cause I am a woman.
I was mostly bullied as a child/teen and abused when older, mostly people I knew or had an acquaintance or very bad men. In between the messy times I did have fun, been to many nightclubs, concerts and private loft parties in NYC. But nowI feel burnt out and enjoy the quiet.
In solitude where we are least alone. Byron
Wow, you’ve had a quite a life, Amelie. You’re a tough person to have been through all that and still be a sweet, gentle soul. I’m glad to hear that you are content with life now, the occasional boredom notwithstanding. The quiet life in the woods sounds ideal to me!
Thank you kindly for responding to my questions, and much love and respect to you. I’m glad you held true to your style and identity throughout, and that you could express your own personality.
Warm regards,
Nell
I feel a bit better having shared just some of the heartache and angst I felt from being bullied. It's sad to read about how others have been bullied too. But, I'm also inspired and heartened in learning of those who have prevailed through travails, however difficult. I cannot change the past...only push on through the future wherever that may lead. Thank you to everyone on the forum who accepts me as I am...imperfect in so many ways, but also proud of who I am as a transgender woman.
Last edited by nikkiwindsor; 12-02-2018 at 05:14 AM.
Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
For the first time, outdoors during the day:
http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I was bullied in grade and middle school, so much so that I dreaded going, and wondered what the next day would bring. Once in middle school while in the bathroom, a group of boys pulled my pants off, threw me out into the hallway, and then took off with my pants....So many other things...
Things changed in high school though,( 1977-81) I started fighting back, and quit being passive, and I was able to fit well among the crowd of hippy misfits and actually made a few friends that I am still good friends with today.
I still get bullied sometimes but I just don't pay any attention to them.
I would think most all of us on this forum were bullied during our childhood and thru our years in school.
Yes its wrong and people shouldn't do it but there will always be bullies.
To march in a school yard holding signs and chanting no more bullies isn't going to change a thing.
You see someone getting bullied go do something to help them don't just film it on your cell phone and stick it on world star hip hop get in there and kick the bully's ass.
The bully will stop once he finds out he isn't such a bad ass.
Last edited by Tracii G; 12-01-2018 at 11:29 PM.
Nope. I was captain of the football team and boxed at a highly competitive level. Wasn't really dressing then though. It's always been sporadic for me and I just do it to de-stress once in a while.
Yup, I was lucky to have never been bullied either. Being a very good soccer player in a country crazy for soccer made my schooling years extremely easy. Many kids wanted to be my friend in primary and middle school. I was far from being the strongest, but was always respected and never was challenged into a physical fight. I don’t recall others being bullied but in an all-boys school surely there must have been some bullying that I just didn’t notice.
I’ve been pretty good at hiding who I real am and it would be a shock for people to see Carolina now. My therapist keeps telling me that I should be ready to experience rejection that I may not have experience before, and that my rosy colorful world may come crumbling down with Carolina (not bullied, but now I may be ostracized...)
Bullying is despicable but I believe there is less and less in schools now, with most kids and school staff aware now of how bad that is, with anti-bullying campaigns everywhere. There is some hope I believe.
I feel for all of you ladies who have experienced bullying. I hope it is a thing of the past. Bullies must be ashamed if they show their faces in HS reunions now.
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