Neighbors seeing me as Amanda

[countrygirl]

Ladies,

How would you handle having a neighbor see you when you're your female side. Tonight is my support group meeting and as I try to go as Amanda which means fully dressed up and makeup and padding. Now I usually take the padding portion of the getting ready to the extreme. But that is who Amanda is she is morbidly obese. Now as I was leaving tonight a neighbor across the street had also stepped out at the same moment and I thought oh naw, but I said oh well and suck it up buttercup and go ahead and get in the car. After I shut the door to the car in that short amount of time looking up noticing that the neighbor had gone back in to his house. Now I am wondering what now. Help!!!

[Ashley in Virginia]

I promise you, the neighbor didn't notice. They were standing far enough away to not get as clear of a look as you think they got. And they probably wouldnt give a crap anyways. People have their own issues and problems to worry over. The neighbor in a dress is hardly a blip on the radar.

What group are you seeing, if it's not too personal? I'm on the other side of Richmond and my therapist has been after me to try and meet other trans people. I've hesitated thus far, but this would probably shut her up and get her off my back.

[countrygirl]

Let's talk

[Rhonda Jean]

Depends on the neighbors. When I was married, I would have been petrified. But, I could easily come and go unseen. I was forced to move out during the divorce and moved into a little rent house with no garage in a neighborhood where nobody knew me. I couldn't come and go unseen, and my next door neighbors had a big window right next to my carport. With my anonymity, difficulty in going unnoticed, and exploring a new life... it's not that I didn't care, I just didn't let it stop me. At that time I was really doing the short dresses and sky high heels more than I ever had before. Nobody ever said anything to me about it, but I certainly didn't make any friends. Almost all of them were older, retired people. I don't know if they thought there was a woman visiting there or if they knew it was me. Then neighborhood I'm in now I'm back to being pretty stealthy.

[Beverley Sims]

May not have even recognised you.

[docrobbysherry]

If they noticed and cared enuff, you'll hear from them!

I was doing a Sherry swim suit shoot in my pool last summer. The neighbor over the fence was having a party. The next he called to say, "We need a higher fence. My guests looked over yesterday!"

He didn't say what they saw and I didn't ask!

[char GG]

Hi Amanda,
When you live near other people, you can’t really predict their activity. If your neighbor saw you, so be it. Chances are that someone has already seen you from inside their house. Just be friendly, a little wave, and go about your business. Neighbors may talk but they will get used to you. Don’t act like you need to hide or you may come across as being creepy. Better to just “own it” as you did.

[Teresa]

Amanda,
As you were heading off to a support group it reads like you are wanting to be more open anyway .

It was easier for me because I made the decision from the start to tell all my new neighbours ,maybe you can see from my recent threads it has paid off . In some respects I feel they are more friendly towards me . The two factors that pushed me were I was now on my own after separating so had very little to lose and secondly my age is gradually going to work against me so it was a case of now or never .

To be totally out and free to come and go as you please is a wonderful feeling , once this is out the way and dealt with you can think more clearly about other issues .

[Aunt Kelly]

Ladies,

Now I am wondering what now. Help!!!

As Ashley says, in all likelihood your neighbor didn't notice. You'd have observed something different if he had. If he did notice, he didn't care enough to be diverted from whatever took him back inside the house.

So what now? That depends entirely on how you feel about being out to your neighbors. If you would rather not be out to them, and their are plenty of valid reasons for that, you need to be more careful. Think about ways to lower your profile during the dash between home and car. Ideally, find a different place to transform, but that's often a big challenge in itself. The main thing is to figure out just how you feel about the risk and act accordingly.

[Nikki A.]

For the longest time I would do my make up and get myself almost ready and finish the transformation in the car. Finally I just said the heck with it and just dress and go out.
I know I have been seen, but nothing has been said to me, I still talk to neighbors and help when and if asked. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I was over at a friends house when another friend came over (who was told a long time ago, but had never seen me), her only complaint was that my boobs were bigger than hers. She was also surprised at my make-up and overall appearance. Made me feel good.

[CynthiaD]

All of my neighbors have seen me dressed, and I've talked with some of them while dressed. It isn't a big deal.

[Teresa]

Aunt Kelly,
That comment is swings and roundabouts , I can see both sides of the situation but like I said in a previous thread I'm pleased I broke the ice early with my neighbours .

It appears the whole neighbourhood has heard about me , far more people wave to me and acknowledge me . The ducking and diving behind curtains had finished for me once I bought my new home .

[Bobbi46]

because your neighbour said/called nothing to you you can bet your bottom dollar that he/she has seen you dressed before so it was no big deal to see you once again dressed and if they know then for sure the rest of your close by neighbours will also know.
being seen for the first time by neighbours is a bit of a nervous time, it was for me but everything worked out fine and i have no worries in that respect any more.
You should not have any reason to worry at all just be you if one of your neighbours happens to call out to you my advice is not to make it look as though you had not heard them but face up to the occasion and talk to them, the more we interact with people as we are the more people will accept us for what we are.

[dana digs sweaters]

Are they paying your bills?